As the world falls down
By Tels

1. Thoughts from the inside

Jared lay on his side in the small cell. Malek had retreated to try to deal with the injuries they had received during their capture. Jared had been taught the poem currently running though his mind when he was six to show him how one tiny pebble can cause such massive ripples. ~ For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.~ And it never seemed more appropriate than now. He glanced up to the window, the one tiny patch of light in the darkness of the cell. Only it wasn't a light that brought hope. There was no hope here, just death and despair.

He had wanted to go on a mission. Tired of paperwork he longed for the freedom and excitement of a mission. Even something simple like trading or just going to another base to deliver a message. That would be exciting compared to stat reports and reading more stat reports and dealing with the mundane things in life, such as who didn't clean the pool last time they used it. Petty squabbles, Delek being well Delek really and the filing of the endless stat reports.

So, against Malek's better judgement and Jacob's counsel, he had insisted on leaving the base and going on this mission. Not even a complicated one, a simple recon to scout out a possible new location. His desire to do something different had repercussions more far reaching than he ever imagined. And it had been such a stupid mistake that had got them caught as well. Something a new operative would never have done, never mind someone with their experience. He had literally walked into the jaffa, not concentrating on where he was going.

He hadn't even been thinking of Elise not that thinking of her was wrong. He and Malek spent a fair portion of each day now thinking about her, but that didn't interfere with paperwork. But out here in the field he'd allowed his private thoughts to distract them both and ended them up here. Does that make his thoughts the horseshoe nail or him thinking about it? No, thinking was never wrong. The nail was his desire to go on a mission in the first place. And that could well cost them their life.

~Pessimist~ Malek chided. ~You gonna rewrite the whole poem now?~

~May as well~ Jared said morosely. ~I mean for the want of a mission the base commander was lost. I'm sorry… it was a stupid thing to do…~

Malek hugged him. ~Wasn't meant to happen like this was it?~

~No… I'm sorry… So what happens next? Now the base commander is lost that is.~

Malek thought for a moment. ~That depends on how much information we give them and I don't plan on saying anything.~

Jared moved slightly. ~Nice thought Mal but I don't know how much more either of us can take. Plus if he does kill us he'll only put us in the sarcophagus and start over again.~ Jared's mind went back to the poem. ~For want of a mission the base commander was lost. For want of a base commander the base was lost. For want of a base the operatives were lost. For want of the operatives the resistance was lost. For want of a resistance the war was lost. And all for the want of a mission to relive the boredom.~

~Now you are being silly… there is no way that our capture is going to be the end of the Tok'ra and you know it.~

~You know the one thing I do regret? Not being there for Elise anymore.~ Jared felt a matching surge of sorrow come from Malek. ~I wish things were different but more than anything I just want to hold her again, spend one more night with them before we die.~

Malek nodded. Footsteps echoed down the corridor. He took a deep breath and assumed control of their body. He pushed himself upright, wincing slightly as his torn and battered body screamed a protest at him moving it. But he was going to meet death on his feet. ~We can do this~ he whispered. ~Just think of Elise.~

The door opened and two figures stood there. Jared trembled within Malek as the pain filled them again and again. He tried to focus his mind on their love, but it was hard. He closed his eyes trying to think of her working in the tunnels, moving round their quarters and clearing the desk like she had threatened to do several times. But all he could see was her mourning them.

His body arched again as orange pain poured through them and Jared felt something break within him. ~Mal~ he gasped as he suddenly found himself fore and alone. He fell to his knees, her name on his lips. “Elise!” Then through the pain he heard her voice and felt her arms go around him. He shuddered knowing it must be an illusion; that he was wishing for her to be here so much that as he died he thought she was. A hand moved over his face, the words indiscernible. He forced his eyes open and tried to focus on the face above him. “Ellie…” he whispered.

The woman looked up at the jaffa. “We don't have long… Put him in the sarcophagus. My lord does not wish him dead yet…”

The jaffa nodded and grabbing hold of Jared dragged him from the room.

Jared tried to fight as they placed him in the sarcophagus. ~ Malek ~ he cried but there was no answer.

Bright white light surrounded him as the lid closed and he cried out, not wanting this. Then he was paralysed as the stasis beams took hold of him, sending him into the oblivion of nothingness. He floated, caught in dream after dream, none of which made sense. Each one contained Elise and she was talking to him, trying to comfort him, but it was too late. He had betrayed everyone and everything. It was all lost because of him.

He came too sometime later as the lid of the sarcophagus opened.

“Hurry,” a voice told him. “I do not have long.”

Fear flooded him. They were going to take him back. He didn't want the pain anymore. ~ Not again ~ he whispered. “Who are you?” he asked pulling back from her touch.

“A friend,” she replied. “I am trying to get you out of here. Your people are waiting on the surface, but we must hurry.” She grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him towards the door.

Jared took her word for it and ran through the corridors after her. He was terrified and confused.

“I can't take you any further,” she told him. “Take these stairs to the fifth level. Then take the corridor to the left. That will take you outside. They will meet you there.”

“Who will?” he asked still confused. He half expected this to be a trap, a new way for the Goa'uld to torment him. Normal torture hadn't worked; maybe this was a new tack.

“You must go now.”

“But I don't even know your name…”

“Just go…”

Jared followed her instructions. ~I didn't even get her name~ he thought to himself.

~It's Taliesin, she is one of us~ came the immediate reply.

Jared stopped shocked. ~Why didn't you say earlier?~ he asked his heart still pounding within him.

~No time… keep going~ Malek told him sharply.

Jared did what the voice told him and finally made it outside the building. He stopped short at the sight of two armed people standing there. “Malek,” one of them said relieved. “Let's go.”

“Jacob?” Jared asked, even more confused now than he had been. ~ What's going on? ~

Jacob looked at Martouf and then back at Jared. “Jared? What's wrong?”

An alarm started to ring in the building behind them.

“They know he has gone,” Martouf said. “We should hurry.”

Jared looked confused. “This is real…? It's not another mind trick or ploy to make me talk because it isn't going to work.”

Jacob shook his head. “No, no trick. But we must hurry.”

Jared followed them to the gate. He hesitated at the threshold of the event horizon, afraid he was dreaming and that at any minute he would wake and find himself back in the cell. Then found himself taking a step anyway. The other side he fell to the ground, unable to go any further. Memories started flooding his mind. Pain and voices and nothing made sense. “What's going on?” he whispered.

A woman fell to her knees next to him, tears in her eyes. “Jared?” she asked.

He looked up at her. He knew her. “Elise,” he whispered.

She nodded and held him as he clung to her. Then she glanced up at the others asking silently to be left alone with him. “It's alright,” she said comfortingly.

Jared shook his head, trembling in her arms. “Is this a dream? It must be a dream, I have longed to be here so much I must be dreaming” he said.

“No my love it's no dream. You're home and safe now. Let me get you inside, check you over and then you can sleep.”

He nodded slowly and let her lead him into the tunnels. He lay on the bed and submitted to her examination, finally letting Malek fore.

Elise looked at him. “You are in perfect health,” she said slightly confused.

Malek nodded. “They put us in the sarcophagus,” he said slowly. “It saved our life… my life…”

Selmak looked at him. “It is good to have you back safely my friend. The council wish to debrief you tomorrow. For now just get some rest.”

Elise looked at her. “I'll see he does.”

Malek stood up. “I am going for a bath,” he said quietly. “I will see you both later.”

Elise watched him leave. She looked worriedly at Selmak. “Will he be alright?” she asked.

Selmak inclined her head slightly. “Hopefully. Just give him time.”

Malek sank into the warm water closing his eyes. ~Jared?~ he asked softly. ~You okay?~

~No… never okay… I just want to retreat for a while… try and forget…~ But all Jared could see was the inside of the cell and remember the pain and the loneliness when Malek retreated and how much of it was his fault. It was all his fault. He nearly ruined three lives and possibly many more. He pulled back within himself.

Malek felt Jared pull right back and sighed gently. Then he reached out assuring Jared everything was alright. He got out of the pool and returned to his quarters to find Elise waiting for him. He hugged her then lay down on the bed, falling asleep almost immediately. He hoped the nightmare was over but it was far from over.

2. Here I am in the dark alone

Malek woke the next morning to find an arm wrapped round his waist and a pair of soft lips nibbling his ear. “Mmmm,” he said not moving or opening his eyes. “Morning.”

Elise smiled and kissed the back of his neck. “How you feeling?” she asked.

“Not convinced that I am not still inside that cell,” he said. He reached out for Jared, knowing he was awake but there was no response. Which was unusual, he was never a back seat passenger when they were with their mate. If anything the two of them swapped so fast it was impossible to tell who was fore.

The past week had been a nightmare for them both, an endless torment of pain and torture and things he didn't want to remember. He had been captured so stupidly, because of a simple error. He had woken every morning in that cell having spent the short rest he had dreaming of Elise. He had woken every morning wishing he was in her arms. Just like now. “How do I know this isn't a dream?” he whispered, still not opening his eyes.

Elise slid her hand downwards across his hip and moved her fingers softly against him. “Still dreaming?” she asked.

Malek smiled. “If I am I don't want to wake up,” He turned over to face her opening his eyes. Then he blinked hard several times. “Why's it so dark in here?” he asked.

Elise looked at him. “It's not dark,” she said. “What's wrong?”

He looked towards her voice and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “I can't see,” he said. ~Jared? Jared respond to me please…~

There was still no response. He was on his own and he couldn't see. ~Jared!~ Malek didn't know which frightened him more. Being unable to see or not even feeling his host.

Elise waved a hand in front of his face but there was no reaction. “Malek?”

“Elise,” he said an uncharacteristic touch of panic in his voice. “I can't see…”

--- ---

Elise laid the scanner down. “I don't know,” she said worriedly. “I wish I did, that I had something to tell you but I don't. According to this there is nothing wrong.” She looked at him, her eyes full of concern.

Malek nodded. “Okay.” He sat up and swung his legs off the edge of the bed. “Then I don't need to stay here do I?”

She sighed. “Where are you going?”

“My office!” he replied sharply. “I probably have a pile of work that needs doing. I haven't been here for a week remember?”

Elise put a hand on his arm. “Aldwin is handling it,” she told him gently. “You have a very efficient 2IC. Just worry about yourself for a bit.” She paused. “How's Jared?”

“He's fine,” Malek said shortly. He wasn't about to tell anyone his host wasn't talking to him nor that he could barely feel him. He needed to get out of there, to be alone before he lost control completely.

Jacob came in looking for Malek. “Morning Malek. I thought I'd find you in here. The council want to do your debrief now.”

“Later,” Malek said looking in the direction the voice came from but not at Jacob. “I need to go check the office first…”

Jacob looked at him. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong,” Malek said. He stood up and felt his way along the bed to the tunnel wall.

Jacob looked at him and then at Elise.

Elise shook her head. “Malek you can't work like that,” she said.

“I can manage,” he said.

Jacob moved over to Elise and took the padd she held out to him. He read quickly and then looked at her. “And you have no ideas?” he said quietly.

She shook her head. “No, he just woke up like it this morning.” She paused. “I'm worried Jacob… And Jared hasn't said anything this morning either. He always says hi if nothing else.”

Malek ran his hand along the rough wall, feeling the crystal digging into his fingers. His steps were unsure and shuffling, his sightless eyes staring straight ahead.

Jacob looked over and watched his friend struggle. Malek was a proud man and would neither ask for nor accept help if it were offered. He wished there was something he could do to help, but no one knew why they were blind.

Malek reached a gap in the tunnel wall and paused, his hand reaching out to find his way across.

Jacob moved over to him. “Malek…”

“I can manage!” Malek repeated.

“I'm sure you can, but the council want you now. Let me at least give you a hand to get there.”

“NO!” Malek said sharply. He took another step, his feet hitting a rise in the floor and he tripped landing heavily into the wall. He swore, angry at himself for being so helpless.

Elise moved swiftly to his side. “Mal…” she said taking hold of his arm. “Please…”

He turned towards her voice. “I can't see…” he whispered, panic starting to set in now.

She pulled him into her arms. “I know,” she said holding him tightly. “But I will work on it okay? Go see the council and then come back for more tests.”

Malek took a sharp intake of breath. “Fine,” he muttered. He took firm control on the way he felt, making sure that none of it showed on his face.

Jacob took Malek's hand and laid it gently on his arm. “This way,” he said walking slowly down the tunnel.

Malek shuffled slowly, his other hand trailing against the wall, hating this. He tried again to reach Jared but there was no response at all. He was aware of everything in his body apart from the one thing he needed. The one thing that had kept him going the past week was no longer there.

They reached the council chambers and Jacob led Malek slowly to the table.

Malek reached out a hand trying to find the chair to sit on.

“It's here,” Jacob said showing him.

Malek made sure of the chair's position before sitting down. He didn't want to make any more of a fool of himself than he already had.

Garshaw looked at him and then worriedly at Jacob. “How are you this morning Malek?” she asked.

“Fine thank you,” Malek replied. He looked towards where the voice was coming from. “But you did not ask me here to find out about my health.”

Garshaw nodded slightly. “We wanted to find out about the mission…”

Malek took a deep breath. “It went wrong. We were captured, spent a week being tortured. We did not tell them anything.”

She nodded slightly waiting for him to continue.

Malek just sat there not knowing what she wanted as he could not read her facial expressions.

After a further pause Delek said, “What did they want to know?”

“The usual,” Malek said, “But we would have died before telling them anything. We know the directives.”

Delek nodded. “How did you get caught?”

“A stupid mistake.” Malek paused. “Which we paid for. Again we did not give up any information.”

Garshaw looked down at the report in her hand. “According to this Taliesin got you out.”

Malek nodded. “Yes, then Selmak and Martouf met me outside and brought me back.”

“What is this about a sarcophagus?” Delek asked.

Malek shrugged. “I don't remember… Jared was fore, I was badly injured… I …” he broke off.

Delek looked at Garshaw and then back at Malek. “Then let us speak to Jared.”

Malek shook his head. “He is sleeping,” he lied. “We are both exhausted.”

Jacob looked at him, knowing his friend well enough to know a lie when he saw one. “We should get you back to the healing chambers,” he said. “Elise has lots more tests for you.”

Garshaw looked at him. “We have not finished.”

Jacob looked at her meaningfully. “He's tired and Elise only released him for a short time.”

She nodded. “Very well.”

Jacob got up and moved over to Malek. He gently laid a hand on his arm. “Let's get you back.”

Delek watched as Malek got up, one hand outstretched. “What is wrong with you?” he asked.

Malek looked towards him. “I am fine,” he said.

“You are far from fine,” Delek insisted getting up and moving over to him. He waved a hand in front of Malek's face. “How long have you been unable to see?”

“That is none of your concern,” Malek snapped.

Delek glared at him. “Oh but it is. If you are blind then you are no longer capable of fulfilling your duties as base commander.”

“What?” Malek gasped, his stomach plummeting.

Delek turned to the council. “I recommend that he be removed from his position as such with immediate effect.”

“You can't do that,” Jacob protested.

“We can if we deem it necessary,” Delek replied. “And I think it is.”

Garshaw looked at him. “At least on a temporary basis. Aldwin can continue with your duties for now. We will discuss a long term solution and let you know our decision.”

Malek pulled his arm free of Jacob and started shuffling towards where he thought the door was. His outstretched hands met chamber wall and he ran his fingers along it just wanting to get out of there.

Jacob shook his head and ran over to Malek. “This way,” he said.

Malek shook him free. “I can do this,” he said not wanting to lose face in front of the council anymore than he had already done so.

“No you can't,” Jacob said quietly. “Let me help you out of here my friend.”

Malek took a deep breath and nodded gripping Jacob's arm tightly. “Alright.”

Jacob nodded and slowly led his friend from the council chambers.

“Take me back to my quarters,” he said.

“I thought Elise wanted you in the healing chambers?”

“My quarters,” Malek said harshly. He lowered his voice. “Don't make me ask again.”

They walked in silence. Malek's steps still unsure, his hand trailing the wall. Finally he stopped. “Where are we?” he asked.

“About twelve feet from your quarters,” Jacob answered. “Ring room is opposite. Your chamber is the next on this side.”

Malek nodded. “I can manage from here,” he said. He paused. “Jacob I know what you are thinking without seeing the look on your face. I want to be alone, please.”

Jacob nodded. “Alright, I'll let Elise know where you are.”

Malek nodded, not moving as he listened to Jacob's footsteps moving off down the tunnel. He took a deep breath and started to walk unsteadily down the tunnel, his hand running along the crystal wall.

Finally after ten minutes he reached his chamber and moved uncertainly into the room. He took one step, his hands stretching out to touch something, anything. He felt the way with his feet, terrified and alone. ~Jared~ he whispered. ~Please Jarrie where are you? Don't leave me now… I need you…~ His foot touched something and his hands immediately reached down to try and work out what it was. It felt like the counter he decided. He pulled himself along it.

Elise and Jacob stood in the doorway watching. She sighed, tears in her eyes. When she looked back at Jacob he knew it was Talia there. “Hon?” he said gently.

“I'm scared for him Jacob,” she whispered. “We both are…”

Jacob hugged her. “I know so are we, but we'll help him get though and adapt. Has Elise managed to figure anything out yet?”

Talia shook her head retreating again. “No I haven't,” Elise said. “There is no physical reason for it that I can find.” She looked back at Malek seeing him lose his footing and fall. “I have to go help him,” she said quietly.

Jacob shook his head, holding her gently. “Leave him,” he said. “He's a proud man, he's been humiliated enough for one morning with more to come.”

Malek sat on the floor, making no effort to get up. Tears sprang uncharacteristically to his eyes. The whole past week he had not cried once. No matter how much pain they inflicted on him, he had not allowed himself to shed a single tear. They had made him scream and cry out yes, but they did not reduce him to tears, but this… He thought he was safe. Thought it was over but it was not. He was alone and blind and they had taken his position away. He cried, cried like he hadn't since he had last lost his host. Alone in the dark he sat and sobbed.

Elise pulled away from Jacob and moved silently into the room. “Mal,” she said moving to his side. She got down beside him and wrapped her arms around him.

His body stiffened for a moment and resisted her. Then he let her hold him, his body shaking with the sobs welling up from within him. “Ellie,” he managed.

She rocked him slowly. “I'm here…” She rubbed his back comforting him. She heard Jacob come in with the equipment she had requested and then leave. “I'm gonna help you my love I promise.”

Malek nodded, his sobs finally slowing. “Sorry…”

Elise took his face in her hands wiping away his tears. “Don't apologise,” she said. “You have feelings just like everyone else. You spent the last week in hell, being hurt in ways I can't begin to imagine. And now this.”

Malek bit his lip. “Ellie…” he whispered. “I can't see… and Jared…”

Elise stroked his face. “Jared what my love?”

“He's not responding to me… I can't even feel him… What have I done?”

Elise looked at him. Her proud, almost arrogant lover reduced to a mere shadow of himself. “Mal, give yourself and him time. He's as hurt and concerned as you are but he has a different way of coping.” She grabbed the scanner and ran it over him. “You're both fine…”

Malek huffed. “Yeah I am fine, Jared is fine. He's just ignoring me and I'm just blind.”

“I love you,” she told him.

“Well you shouldn't. I am no use to you either now am I?”

Elise looked at him. “Yes you are.” She leaned in and kissed him.

He turned his face away. “Don't…” He took a deep breath. “Run your tests and leave me alone. Please.”

Elise nodded; hurt registering on her face and in her eyes. “If that's what you want.”

“It is.”

She ran the scanner over him, doing several deep scans of his eyes, then gathered up her equipment and left the room. She leaned against the tunnel wall, tears pouring down her face, struggling to keep her sobs silent so he wouldn't hear her.

Inside his quarters, Malek sobbed too. For everything he had lost and regretting having survived the ordeal in the first place. He should have died. It would be better than this. His two greatest fears, not that he could admit that to anyone. Being alone and in the darkness.

3. Point of No return.

Malek let go of Jacob's arm and lowered himself down to the ground. “Thank you.”

“Do you want me to stay?” Jacob asked.

Malek shook his head. “No… I will be fine for a few hours.” The wind blew his hair, the air clean and fresh after a week cooped up in the tunnels.

Jacob nodded. “Then I will see you later.”

Malek nodded. “You will.” ~More than I will.~ He listened as Jacob moved away across the grass. It was surprising how much his other senses had come into their own over the past seven days since he had lost his sight. He could hear the wind whistling in the blades of grass beneath his fingers; hear each nuance of the leaves rustling, birds singing. It was so alive here. If he listened hard he could even hear the waterfalls just beyond the cliff edge and the rush of air that preceded it.

He knew Jacob hadn't left him too close to the edge and if he knew his friend like he did, he hadn't even left him alone. He sighed. He just couldn't do this anymore. He'd reached the point of no return. All he wanted to do was float away like the breeze, forget everything. Forget how much he had failed and let people down and forget the humiliation he had suffered at the hands of the council. He hadn't felt Jared at all since that night they had escaped the cells of Ba'al. The decision therefore was his and his alone.

The council had taken away his position. Delek delighted in telling him of the council's decision and that he was removed of duty as of now. That they would arrange for a new host as soon as it was feasible to do so. He didn't want that. Didn't want to leave Jared. But he had lost so much, his self respect, his communication with his host, and his love for the one other person that mattered.

It wasn't fair that she should be affected by this too. If he left now then she could put this behind her and find someone else. This was the right thing to do. To end it now. He couldn't carry on like this, unable to see and alone for the next hundred or so years. To be a burden on the others because no matter what they said that is what he would be.

He'd tried to heal Jared's eyes but Elise was right, there was no physical reason for him being blind. They had ruled out every possible reason including a side effect of the sarcophagus. No this was for the best. He got to his feet and started taking several haltering steps towards the sounds he could hear. The edge was calling him. The point of no return. One more step and he would be there. Finally he was. The air was clearer here, the wind pulling at him. If he took this last step it would be over. He would no longer be a failure or a disappointment to anyone.

He shuddered at the memories that suddenly flooded his mind. Not his memories however, memories from a different point of view. ~Jarrie?~ he whispered.

~Here~ a quiet whisper said. ~So dark Mal… broken… no point anymore… Hurt you too much… I killed you so please just finish what I started…~

Suddenly Malek realised what was wrong. He looked up. “Jacob!” he called, knowing his friend was nearby but not sure exactly where.

Jacob moved two steps closer. He had been watching the whole time and was not about to let Malek kill himself even if that is what he wanted. “I'm here.”

“Take me away from the edge?” Malek asked. “Help me find my way back?”

4. Little steps.

Jacob led Malek back from the edge of the cliff and sat him down. “You alright?” he asked.

Malek nodded. “Can you send for Elise?” he asked. “I have pushed her away for too long now.”

Jacob nodded. “You'll be here when I get back?” he asked.

“I will…”

Jacob looked at him for a moment then headed back towards the base.

Malek leaned back against the tree staring sightlessly ahead. ~Jarrie~

Jared stirred . ~Why didn't you jump? It was what we both wanted.~

~Was it? Are you sure? What if it is the wrong decision?~

~And living like this is?~

Malek stirred. ~Jarrie there is nothing wrong with your eyes. I have tried to heal them but can't and nor can Elise find anything wrong because there is nothing wrong.~

~Then why can't we see?~

~Because we're scared~ Malek whispered. He started to pull back slightly. ~Remember the sarcophagus and how scared you were?~

~Because I was alone… you weren't there anymore and I don't want to be alone. I blended with you for life, one of us shouldn't live without the other.~

Malek hugged him. ~And we won't have to but what was that poem again, the nail one?~

Jared repeated it for him.

~You see you feel this is your fault… you wanted the mission and I ended up …~

~I killed you Mal… I felt you die~ Jared whispered.

Malek retreated, pushing Jared fore, knowing he needed physical control of the body for this to work.

“Noooooo” Jared cried aloud. “Don't leave me alone… not in the dark please…”

~You're not in the dark or alone~ Malek told him.

“I can't see… Malek where are you?”

Elise ran over the grass to him. “Jared…” she called.

Jared looked up. “Elise…”

She dropped to her knees and held him. “It's okay… you're not alone now. What happened?”

“I killed him… Ellie I killed Malek…” The words tumbled from him so fast she had trouble keeping up with him. She looked up at Jacob who was keeping silent watch.

Jared sobbed as he told her how it was his mistake that had got them caught and that it was his fault that Malek had been killed. “I felt him die, just before they put us in the sarcophagus… I hate the dark and closed spaces… Get me out… please get me out…”

Elise nodded. “Of course I will my love. You only had to ask.”

He looked up as her hands moved over his face. “Really?” he asked.

She nodded. “I promise.” She leaned forward and kissed him. She held him closely. “I was thinking… and I think I know why you can't see… You're punishing yourself for hurting Malek… if you can't see then you'll be safe and no one will send you again. But the thing is you're not. They want to take Malek away, put him in a new host.”

Jared took a sharp intake of breath. “Why?”

“Because they can't leave him in a blind host.” Elise took a deep breath. “But the only one who can fix this my love is you. You need to realise there is nothing to be scared of anymore. You are stronger than you think. Yes Malek was hurt and so were you. It was a mistake, nothing more, and nothing that caused any long term damage.”

Jared sighed. “But they took away his position…”

Jacob spoke up. “That was a temporary position. Neither Garshaw nor Selmak has any intention of it being permanent.”

~Malek?~

~Of course I trust you still~ Malek said knowing instantly what was worrying his host. ~Look if I didn't I would have jumped but something held me back. We made the mistake Jared, not just you.~

Jared closed his eyes. ~But it was me…~

~Do you really think I would not have stopped you if I had not secretly wanted out myself?~ Malek asked. ~ We went on the mission, we cocked up and I think we have paid long and hard enough don't you?~

Jared nodded and opened his eyes. He looked at Elise. “Have your eyes always been that shade of blue?” he asked.

She beamed and hugged him tightly.

Malek came fore and looked at her. “Don't cry,” he said wiping away her tears. “I've been horrid this past week. I'm sorry.”

“You were entitled to be horrid,” she whispered. “After what happened…”

“It's over now,” he said. “We're not entirely fine, it will take a while yet but we will get there.”

Elise looked at him. “Little steps,” she told him.

He looked at her. “He broke us,” he whispered. “We thought we were invincible, that nothing could destroy us or the tie we had but he did.”

She looked at him. “But you fixed it,” she whispered. “The link between you is stronger than him or the council or anyone.”

Malek sighed. “I thought it was but I am not sure anymore.”

“Oh it is… this is the first real test since you blended my love. Everyone has doubts at times and everyone fails.”

Jacob nodded. “Selmak and I nearly separated a few times because one thought we had failed the other. But we talked and came out stronger than ever.”

Jared sighed. ~I blew it again.~

~We just need to keep talking~ Malek said. ~Small steps my friend.~

Jared nodded. ~Small steps in a forward direction.~

Malek smiled. ~And when there is only one set of prints in the sand?~ he asked picking another poem from Jared's childhood.

~It is then that you carry me or I carry you~ he finished. He looked up at the others. “Let's go home.”

Fin
© Tels Sept 2006.

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