Now We Are Two

Awron ]m 'n ddau. (Now we are two.)
by Tels

SUMMARY: Tels goes on a mission and gets captured by a system lord who wants a new host for his Queen. It deals with her reactions to this and how she picks up the pieces afterwards. This story is the blending of my RP charrie. I took liberties with Selmak in this and made her a Queen.
RATING: R for violence and graphic blending scenes :P

Commander Telsia Jameson and Colonel Jack Pitt trudged through the forest of P6C-798. They were taking two new recruits on what she termed a wild goose chase, but what command called training/basic recon. The Tok'ra had assured them the planet was safe and that combined with the MALP and UAV recon had Tels to take the recruits there. She had taken Jack because he was one of the best training officers the SGC had plus they had a great friendship both on and off duty.

As she walked she reflected on how she had ended up doing what she did now. Born in Betws-y-Coed in Wales , she spoke fluent welsh, which she tended to revert to on occasions. Her parents Dafyd and Rhiannon along with her brother Peter and sister Cathryn were killed in a fire when she was 7. She blamed herself for the fire.

There had been a power cut, and as Tels was afraid of the dark, her mother had left a candle on the landing. During the night Tels had woken with a sore throat and moved the candle to get a drink of water. The flame, now too close to the open window had touched the curtains and the old house quickly burned.

Hiding in her room under the bed, frightened by the thick smoke and roar of the flames, she hadn't come when her parents called to her. The ceiling fell and she lay sobbing, hearing the screams over the flames. A fireman had climbed through the window and rescued her just as the flames reached her, setting her clothes aflame.

She was sent to live with relatives a sister of her mother in Denver . She never got on with them; the ‘gift' she had inherited from her father made her abnormal in their eyes and she was resented by her new family. A strong telepath Tels could also pick any lock she put her mind to and also had a certain amount of ESP which seemed to have got stronger since the death of her family.

Tensions grew over the years and left home as soon as she finished high school. She went to university then joined the Air Force where she transferred to the SGC. She was a hard working and loyal officer, rising swiftly through the ranks reaching the rank of Commander by 35. This was where she met Jack, who had quickly become one of her best friends. The rest of her team, SG5 she was relatively close too – they were the only family she now had.

She looked over at Jack as they climbed the hill. At 40 he was slightly older than her but they got on so well. Nothing would ever come of it, for one thing regs forbade it, another she was his CO and for another she just didn't like him that way. He was a friend and that was the way it would stay.

Jack grinned at her then looked over his shoulder at the two cadets following them. “Keep up!” he called.

Tels shook her head at him. “I can't keep up with up with you! Never mind them!” This was her first trip since she was badly injured on her last mission.

“That's old age Ma'am,” Jack retorted.

Tels thumped him playfully. “Enough of the old Jack. And leave of the Ma'am too.”

Jack grinned. “But we're on duty Commander.” They paused and waited for the cadets to catch up. “So Ma'am, what are your plans for this evening?”

“Same as usual Colonel – paperwork. Why? You got a better plan?”

He moved towards her. “I might have.”

She looked at him, the hair on the back of her neck rising, her hand immediately pulling her P-90 round.

Suddenly the ground in front of them erupted and several jaffa appeared seemingly from nowhere. “Take cover!” Tels yelled. She and Pitt dropped, rolled and came up firing in unison.

The two cadets dropped to the ground and lay there. This wasn't meant to happen. What do they do? Fumbling for their weapons they looked over at the two senior officers. “Sir? Ma'am?”

“Get back to the gate!” Jack yelled. “We'll cover you. If we're not there in 20 minutes dial home go back and send help.”

They didn't need to be told twice. They ran, leaving the two senior officers under heavy fire.

Tels fired in short bursts, taking down several jaffa. They seemed to multiple – what had they walked in to here she wondered. Suddenly she heard Jack yell and saw him fall. “Jack!” She scooted over to his side. He had taken a staff blast to the arm but other than that seemed okay. “You alright?” she asked. He nodded then his eyes went wide as zat fire knocked him to the floor.

Tels began to turn; blinding pain erupted through her, unconsciousness cutting off her scream of pain.

--- --- --- --- ---

Some time later she opened her eyes. She had a blinding headache and it took a minute for her vision to clear. She was in a cell, her hands high above her head and her feet barely touching the ground. She closed her eyes again. A moan from the other side of the room made her open them again. “Jack?” she said.

“Yeah Tels, I'm here.” Jack reverted to calling her by her first name, relieved she seemed relatively unhurt.

Tels tried to move but quickly realised it was impossible. The pain in her arms was incredible. She tried to stretch her legs so the tips of her toes touched the ground to take some of her weight and relieve the strain on her wrists. “Did you see who they were?”

“ Jaffa . Didn't recognise the symbol. Must be a new guy.”

"Nice place he has,” she said dryly. “Remind me to add it to Hammond 's list of must see places.” She looked round the room for a way out then looked at Jack. He looked badly hurt. “You okay?”

“Been worse. I thought this planet was safe. That was why we came here.”

“According to the Tok'ra it was.”

Jack snorted. “Now why doesn't that surprise me? Never have trusted those guys.”

The door opened and three jaffa stood there. “My master wishes to see whoever is in command.”

“That's me,” Jack said quickly.

“No,” Tels said looking straight at the jaffa. “It's me you want.”

“With all due respect Commander,” Jack started.

“Colonel,” Tels said quietly cutting him off. “This is neither the time nor the place for chivalry. I am the highest ranking officer. I'll go.” She looked at the jaffa. “It's me you need.”

The first prime removed the chains from the wall, letting her fall to the ground. “Ah!” she gasped as she felt her wrist break as she landed on it. Pulling her roughly to her feet, the jaffa led her, still bound to the throne room of the complex.

“Kneel before your god,” a distorted voice said.

“Not today,” Tels said with a lot more bravado than she felt. She refused to look at him and despite the pressure on her shoulders refused to kneel.

The Goa'uld nodded and one of the jaffa hit Tels across the back of the legs with his staff weapon, forcing her to her knees. A strong hand grasped her face forcing her gaze upwards. <No! Not again!> She had hoped never to run into this one again - Thanatos, the Greek god of Death. He made Anubis look like a good guy. Thanatos looked down at her, his hand caressing her cheek as he held her. Recognition glimmered in his eyes.

Her mind wandered back to the first time she had met Thanatos – her previous mission. Half her team hadn't made it back. She had been out for three months while her broken arm and leg healed.

“Commander Jameson,” he said slowly. “How lovely to see you again.”

Tels looked away.

Thanatos forced her head back towards him. He stretched out his left hand.

Incredible pain exploded through her as the ribbon activated, ripping an involuntary scream from her.

She spent the next two hour being brutally tortured and interrogated by Thanatos' jaffa. The Goa'uld himself sat on his throne and watched the whole time. Although interrogation didn't exactly cover it. It was more like, hit first, hit some more than maybe ask one or two questions much, much later.

They wanted her iris codes, which she was not going to give up. No matter what they did to her, she kept silent, refusing even to give them the satisfaction of seeing her cry out in pain. When beating didn't' work they zatted her; giving her just enough time to recover before doing it again. Eventually the pain became too much and she passed out.

Sometime later, she wasn't sure how long she woke to someone touching her. She flinched and pulled away.

“It's okay,” Jack told her. “It's me.” He was relieved to see her come round.

Tels stirred groggily, seeing Jack wince as he looked at her. “What?” she asked.

“You're hurt,” he said, looking at her torn uniform and cuts and bruises. “What did they do to you?”

Footsteps caused them both to glance up. “What is it with Goa'uld's and skirts?” Jack wondered.

“It is good to see you on your knees voluntarily. The woman needed to be taught manners.” The voice was unmistakably that of Thanatos.

“What have you done to her?” Jack demanded.

“She refused to learn, but she will.” He looked at Tels “She will make an excellent host.”

Jack sprung to his feet and launched himself at Thanatos. “That's where you are wrong!” he shouted.

Thanatos nodded and the jaffa grabbed Jack holding him firmly. Thanatos took Jack's face in one hand and laughed. “And it will be the last thing you ever see.”

Jack pulled his face away and glared defiantly at the Goa'uld. “If you must have someone as a host take me,” he said.

Thanatos laughed. “So noble. Maybe I should have you both as hosts. The knowledge you possess will be invaluable. The codes for your base for example.”

“Wrong again,” Tels told him. “If we are not back within twenty four hours they lock out our codes.”

Thanatos kicked out at her, his foot connecting with her broken wrist.

Pain shot through Tels and she keeled over semi conscious.

“LEAVE HER ALONE!!!” Jack yelled.

Thanatos spun round, ribbon outstretched towards Jack, his foot deliberately grinding Tels's wrist into the floor, forcing an involuntary cry of pain from her.

A jaffa came running into the room. “My Lord, the Chappa'ai has been activated. Two teams of Tau'ri have come through.”

Jack swore. For once why couldn't Hammond NOT send in the troops immediately?

Thanatos smirked. “Go and seek them out. Take them alive. My Queen will need jaffa to serve her. And who better than those of the Tau'ri.”

“Excuse me?! Your what?!” Jack said.

Thanatos indicated Tels. “She will not be just any host.” He pulled forwards one of the women and showed Jack. “The previous host was killed. No one else suitable has been found; until now.”

The snake pushed its way out and moved against Thanatos' hand.

Jack pulled a face. “I really hate those things,” he muttered.

“Does she please you too? It won't be long my love. Then Erida will be reunited with her god and husband at last.”

“Over my dead body,” Jack snarled, struggling to get free.

“Teach him obedience,” Thanatos said. “And prepare her.”

The jaffa grinned, two moving towards Tels and the others towards Jack.

--- --- --- --- ---

An hour later Tels came round slowly, hurting all over. Several things struck her at once. The first being she was wearing nothing with only a very thin filmy piece of fabric covering her modesty. She was strapped down to a table of some kind. She fought against the restraints but it was a fruitless exercise and only served to cause the fabric covering her to slip down. There were straps around her wrists and ankles and one across her waist. The movement caused more pain as her wrist chafed against the restraints.

“Forget it Tels,” came Jack's voice. “You'll only hurt yourself more.”

Tels looked round trying to see where the voice was coming from. “Jack?”

“Yeah, I'm here.”

She gasped as she saw him, her own pain momentarily forgotten. He was slumped against the wall, hands strung up above his head. She struggled again, longing to go and help him. “What did they do to you?”

His face was battered and bruised, blood flowing freely from the cuts to his face and arms. One eyes blacked and his lips split, his uniform was bloodstained and torn, he tried to smile at her, but it didn't work. “Not much,” he said. “I stood up for women's rights but Mr Snake Head didn't wanna know.”

“Going soft in your old age?” she asked.

“Hey, less of the old,” he replied gently. He looked at her, longing to say more, to explain but not knowing how or where to begin. He had so much to say to her, but not enough time in which to say it.

The door opened and Thanatos and several jaffa entered the room. He crossed over to Tels and stretched out a hand to her. She turned away but he turned his face back to him. “You're awake,” he said. “Good.” He ran his hand down her face. He pulled the fabric covering her aside and ran an appreciative eye and hand up and down her body.

Tels closed her eyes, her face burning with embarrassment. She tried to shut out what was happening.

“Very lovely,” Thanatos said. He looked over at Jack. “Have you said your goodbyes?”

Fear flashed through her and her eyes sprung open. “Goodbyes? What's going on?? Jack??”

Jack turned his head away, unable to answer, not willing to see the fear and pain in her eyes; not wanting to see one of his own become one of them.

Thanatos nodded to the jaffa who turned Jack's head back and held it in place. “You will watch Colonel Pitt. This is how the Tau'ri rebellion will end. At the hand of your god.”

“You are not my god,” Tels told him. “And if I am to die, I die free.”

Jack caught his breath.

Thanatos beckoned the woman forwards and removed the symbiote. “You will neither die nor be free,” he told Tels. “You will serve as my Queen for eternity.”

Tels panicked, struggling against the restraints. “NAAAAAAA! Arhosa 'i blesio.” {Stop please} She looked at Jack, pleading with her eyes for him to do something, say something. He gave her a long look, pouring into it everything he wanted to say.

Thanatos stood over her, the symbiote in one hand, the other running over Tels's arm. “Does she please you?” he asked the symbiote. He laid the symbiote on Tels's chest, the feeling of it on her bare skin making her heave.

“Na,” she gasped, struggling as much as she could. “Blesio na!”{Please no} It slithered up her body and curled round her neck. “Chyfnertha 'm! Gwna 'i arhosa! Naaaaaaaaaaaa!” {Help me - make it stop} There was an instant of agonising pain as it burrowed its way through her neck and into her body. Tels screamed, arching back against the restraints. Then her eyes flashed hard, her body fell limp and she fell into the darkness.

Three hours later.

Standing before the mirror she admired her new host's body. The sarcophagus had done a good job of restoring her, healing the broken bones, cuts and bruises the jaffa had inflicted on her. She dressed, her mind constantly trying to reach that of her host. Despite what Thanatos thought, she was not Goa'uld, she never had been Erida.

It had been necessary to hide amongst them for over 200 years, her undercover mission going very wrong, forcing her to take the place of Thanatos's queen. She was Cha'ris of the Tok'ra. The problem was how to convince her host and the Tau'ri of this.

She looked down at the ribbon device and slid it on. Over the years it had become part of who she was. More decorative than anything else, she rarely used it unless forced to. Maybe one day she wouldn't have to wear it unless she wanted to.

Trapped in her own mind and body Tels was terrified. She was moving but it wasn't her. Thoughts that weren't hers ran through her mind, images of other hosts and other members of the Tok'ra. Selmak. Selmak as a woman??? Someone called Ka'nire, someone else called Malek. Whoa what was going on here?

<Nooooooooooooo!> she yelled in her mind, determined to resist as much as she was able. She had assumed nothing of the host remained. Why was she still here? Did it take time for her to die, for her consciousness to fade and vanish? Was she just a memory now, a figment of her own imagination?

<Liar!> Tels shot back. <I'm dead and you know it!>

The door opened. Cha'ris turned, the jaffa guards bowing as they came in. “My Queen,” one of them said. “Lord Thanatos asked if there is anything that you desire.”

she told Tels. She nodded and said, “The Tau'ri that was captured along with my host – Colonel Pitt. I wish him brought to me.”

<Not Jack! Leave him alone! You have me isn't that enough??> Tels screamed.

“He is being questioned by Lord Thanatos My Lady.”

“Then take me to him.”

Tels could hear herself speak but the words and voice weren't hers. She was terrified for Jack now. She hadn't been able to protect herself how could she protect Jack? Even if this snake was telling the truth, which she doubted, there was no way she would ever be allowed home again. She had lost everything. Myriad emotions filled her, hatred for what she had become and grief for the life she would have to leave behind.

Cha'ris went with the jaffa through the corridors, as usual letting them escort her. She could hear Jack. He was being tortured rather interrogated. Entering the room she said “Stop!”

Thanatos looked at her, not lowering the ribbon. “We need his access codes in the next six hours or they are no good.”

Cha'ris went over to him. “We do not need to torture him for that information my love,” she said taking hold of his hand. She looked deep into his eyes.

<Oh Please!> Tels shuddered.

“My host knows the access codes,” Cha'ris said. “She could not keep them from me. She was strong; she put up a good fight. But I am in control now.” She looked directly at Jack, seeing the disgust in his eyes. “The code for their iris is 2537893.” She saw a brief flicker in his eyes as she gave the code. Raising an eyebrow and taking the thought directly from Tels she said, “I guess you are not in Kansas anymore Jack.”

Tels would have taken a sharp breath if she could. What?? Maybe this snake was Tok'ra. She had given a false iris code after all. Okay she had no control over her voice or her body but she could think and surely the Goa'uld took complete control not even allowing the host room to think. Or did they? She watched through her eyes as Jack turned away. The disgust in his eyes sliced through her, wounding her far more deeply than the hours of torture she had previously endured.

Footsteps in the doorway made Cha'ris look up. Several jaffa stood there, one of whom she felt a flash of recognition from her host. <Paul!> Tels thought. <He's come for us. Prove you are who you say. Get Jack out of here.>

Cha'ris looked at the jaffa. “You!” she said, pointing to the one her host had named Paul. “Take this human away and see that he is cleaned up. We will deal with him later.”

Thanatos started to argue.

Cha'ris turned to him. “It has been a long time since we were… alone together,” she said running her hand along the outline of his face.

Tels felt nothing but revulsion as her hand caressed this snake in front of her.

An echoing wave of revulsion came from Cha'ris. <We have to. It is the only way to save your friend. Besides you are his wife. He expects it.> She crossed to Jack and pulled him to his feet, tying his hands in front of him.

Jack pulled away in disgust and spat at her.

“Go with the jaffa!” she told him, ignoring the hurt feelings from her host. She looked at the others and told them, “Join the detachments searching for the Tau'ri intruders.” She watched as Paul led Jack away, playing his part to perfection. At least Jack was safe now, which was the least she could do for her host. She herself was beyond redemption as was her host. <Forgive me Telsia> she told her host, turning back to Thanatos.

Thanatos pulled her into his arms. “It has indeed been too long,” he said kissing her deeply, his hands winding through her long dark hair.

Tels pushed down her feelings of disgust and abhorrence at what she was doing, or rather what the snake was doing with her body, focusing on the fact that her friends were safe and on their way home.

Breaking off the kiss, Thanatos smiled at her. “You are beautiful Erida,” he told her. “Go to my chambers. I will be there shortly.” He glanced at two of his personal guard. “Escort Lady Erida. We don't want the Tau'ri taking back their officer now do we?” He kissed her again. “I will not be long my love.”

Cha'ris went with the jaffa, through the familiar corridors to Thanatos chambers. She could feel the hatred and disgust from her host. <What can I do to persuade you I am Tok'ra and mean you no harm?>

Reaching Thanatos chambers, Cha'ris turned to the guards. “Leave me. Take up station outside the door. My Lord will be here soon. When he arrives see that we are not disturbed.” She closed the door and relinquishing control to Tels tried to talk to her.

Tels ignored her, trying to come to terms with the fact she now had a snake in her head. She knew what was going to happen when Thanatos arrived and would rather die than let him anywhere near her, never mind touch her. She just hoped that Jack and Paul were back to the gate by now and that Paul had mined the building. Pacing round the room she looked desperately for a way out. Not finding one she sank onto the bed. She knew the SG5 motto was ‘Everyone Returns' but this was one mission where she wouldn't. Her last, as one way or another she would die here

<Telsia please> Cha'ris said gently. <You said that your friends would have mined the building yes?> She got a mental nod from her host. <How long will they have set the timer on the charges for?>

<20 minutes or so – long enough to get everyone out but not long enough for the jaffa to find and disarm the C4. Why?>

<You really want him dead?> Tels asked surprised.

<He. Selmak is a he.>

Before Cha'ris could reply footsteps stopped outside the door. <Forgive me. Just give me the chance to prove to you who I am. He will not leave this room, even if it means our death.> she said, swiftly taking control again. She stood up, smoothing down the dress.

“Your Queen awaits My Lord,” said one of the jaffa.

“See we are not disturbed.” Thanatos swept into the room and across to Cha'ris, taking her into his arms. “My love,” he said inclining his head towards hers and kissed her hard.

Cha'ris cringed inwardly as he touched her, her feelings mirroring Tels's.

The door opened and two figures in jaffa uniform entered. Thanatos turned sharply, tightening his grip on Cha'ris enough to make her gasp in pain. “I said I didn't want to be disturbed!” he snapped. “What is the meaning of this?”

Both jaffa opened their helmet and Paul looked at Thanatos. “Hey Snakie!” he said and fired the zat.

Both Thanatos and Cha'ris fell to the ground convulsing in pain. Thanatos let go of Cha'ris and shaking off the pain, struggled to his feet. “You will pay….” He began.

Paul fired again and Thanatos fell to the floor. Paul aimed the zat at Cha'ris. “Make one false move and you join him in hell.”

Cha'ris raised her hands slowly. “I am not Goa'uld. I am Cha'ris of Tannoch. I am Tok'ra.”

“The Tok'ra don't *Take* hosts,” Paul said harshly.

“I had no choice. To do otherwise would have condemned her to death.”

Keeping his zat trained on her, he keyed his radio. “Harley, I have found Commander Jameson and Colonel Pitt. Jack is hurt but okay. Tels has been infested with a snake which is insisting is a Tok'ra operative. Advise Command. Will wait here for further instructions. Chaney out.”

<Let me talk to them please> Tels begged Cha'ris. Cha'ris eyes flashed briefly and she yielded control. Tels looked at Paul and said in a normal but somewhat desperate voice, “Hey guys, it's me.”

“No its not,” Jack said vehemently before Paul cut him off with an icy glare.

“How do we know it's not a trick?” Paul asked, the zat not wavering.

“She says she has been pretending to be a Goa'uld but isn't,” Tels told him.

“Prove it.”

“I can't. She did let you guys go when I asked though. The zatarg testing thing probably would but that means letting me back into the SGC. And that won't happen will it. I know you don't trust me. I suggest you go to the gate. I will distract the guards. Go now while there is still time.”

Paul looked at her, agonising over the decision. “We leave no one behind,” he said.

“With all due respect she's a snake head Sir…” Jack began.

“That's enough Colonel!” Paul replied.

“Paul please go,” Tels insisted. “Get your men out of here while you can.”

The radio crackled. “Harley to Chaney. Base wants her back under heavy guard. The Tok'ra have been called in and should arrive tomorrow.”

“Understood. On our way. Cover our exit – we'll blow the palace as we leave.” Paul looked at Tels and indicated the door with the zat. “Move.”

“How are you planning on getting out?” she asked, not moving an inch.

“I have the gate guarded. I mined the building on the way in. We just need a diversion.” He reached under his uniform and pulled out a block of C4 from the bag he had concealed. “I want to remote detonate this higher up in the complex. Where is the nearest ring room?”

Tels looked blankly at him. “How should I know?”

“Your snake would know,” Jack said.

Closing her eyes for an instant Tels asked Cha'ris then said “The nearest rings are just off the throne room – about 750 yards back that way.” She looked at the body of Thanatos lying where it had fallen. “If they find him they will revive him in the sarcophagus.” She looked over at Jack. “Jack I….”

“That's Colonel Pitt to you,” Jack replied brusquely.

Tels stepped backwards, shocked by the hatred in his voice. “Ok *Colonel*, if that's the way you want it.” She turned to Paul. “Paul, I don't want you to take me back if the others are going to react like this. Let me stay here and die when the building blows.”

Paul shook his head, shoving the C4 back in the bag. “Not an option.” He looked at her. “Command wants you back. If we leave you here then the Goa'uld will know everything you do.” He nodded to Jack who covered Tels with his zat. Holstering his, Paul grabbed Tels's wrists, fastening them securely behind her. Then he thumbed his radio. “Harley this is Chaney. We are about to make our exit from the snake den. I am going to remote detonate some C4 higher up in the complex. Then we will ring outside. Once we are clear give us covering fire as you see fit then start the evac. See you in 10. Out.”

Paul looked at Tels. “You lead us to the rings. You will stay bound and in front of us so no sudden moves.”

“If she doesn't wanna come leave her here,” Jack muttered quietly. He moved to the door. “Company.”

Tels glanced at him, very tempted to hit him for that, but realised that both men had zats pointed at her and wouldn't hesitate to use them if provoked. Probably twice. There was a brief flash of her eyes before Cha'ris took over.

Both men recoiled slightly. “Whoa!” Jack said.

“Let me distract the jaffa,” Cha'ris told them. “Then you will be able to leave.”

Paul thought quickly before telling them what to do and they both nodded.

Jack removed his jaffa tunic. He put an arm round her neck, pressing the zat into her neck more firmly than was necessary. “One reason,” he hissed too quiet for Paul to hear. “One slight movement is all it will take.”

“Shak'ti'qua! Jaffa Kree!” Cha'ris called. “Sha'lokma'kor!”

Tels didn't know how but she knew what that meant. ‘What are you doing! Jaffa come here. Catch them!'

Two jaffa burst through the door and were quickly zatted twice by Paul. Then he looked at Cha'ris. “After you.”

Cha'ris led the way to the throne room, aware that she was a prisoner now. Jack was close enough for his zat to press into the small of her back and with her hands tied there was nothing she could do.

Once in the ring room, Paul quickly took four blocks of C4 and taped them together, making sure the detonator was hidden and set it in the middle of the rings. “What's the setting?” he asked Cha'ris.

She looked at him and winced as Jack jabbed the zat hard into her back. She told Paul what he needed to know.

Paul touched the ring controls and the rings came down and went back up with the C4. He looked at her again and she told him what the settings were for the ground floor.

Jack pulled her into the rings, still not happy with taking her with them, and they ringed to a small room on the ground floor of the palace.

“The exit is that way,” Cha'ris indicated with her head. “It will be heavily guarded.”

“Not for long,” Paul muttered. They made their way to the exit, Cha'ris making it look as if she were being escorted.

They reached the doorway and ducked into a side room. “You'd better radio ahead Sir,” Jack said. “Warn them the two jaffa and a snake head coming their way are us.”

Paul shot him a filthy look before raising the radio. “Chaney to Harley. Fire at will.” Then he remote detonated the C4 he had planted.

Moments later the building shook with two loud explosions. Immediately jaffa poured into the building, rushing to the aid of their Lord. Working fast Paul and Jack took care of the ones they could see. Paul readied a grenade and threw it down the hallway behind them. As it exploded he keyed his radio. “Harley, we are on our way. Be advised we are dressed as jaffa. Have a security detail and a secure mode of transport standing by on our arrival at the gate.”

Paul looked at the others. “Move now!”

They ran towards the gate, Paul taking point with Jack bringing up the rear, keeping a close eyes on the figure in front of him. Cha'ris let Tels fore, figuring it would be easier on them both when they got to the gate if Tels were in control.

As they ran, explosions went of behind and around them as SG5 gave them covering fire. Tels kept tripping over her long skirt, not used to running in a full length dress and strappy shoes. Suddenly she fell, crying out, her ankle twisting beneath her. There was a sickening crack which she heard as well as felt. She screamed in pain, almost blacking out with the severity of it.

Jack glared at her as he stopped by her side. “FCOL! Get up!”

Tels sat up as white as a sheet. She felt her ankle gingerly feeling extremely sick. “I'm not going anywhere. It's broken.”

“Commander!” Jack yelled.

Paul turned. “What? We don't have time for this.”

“She's broken her ankle!”

Another explosion, closer this time made then duck. Paul glared at him. “She has a name. Carry her and that's an order Colonel.”

“Yes Sir!” Jack swung Tels up into his arms, muttering about women and high heeled shoes.

Staff fire and shouts came from behind them. Paul swore. “MOVE IT!” he yelled. He grabbed his radio as he and Jack broke into a run. “We are under attack.”

Tels felt Jack's arms around her but he was doing the bare minimum to support her. She knew he was only doing this because he had been ordered to. His dislike for the Tok'ra ran deep. He had never forgiven them for the loss of his previous CO. And he hated the Goa'uld with a passion. She knew the SGC would be on high alert when they brought her back. Armed guards and a holding cell awaited her. Joy! She couldn't do locked up, she had severe claustrophobia.

<Calm down> Cha'ris told her gently. <They have sent for the Tok'ra remember? Selmak will know who I am. Hopefully she will come.>

<Selmak is a he. His host is an Air Force General> Tels replied.

<Whoa you are what??> Tels asked.

<Selmak's daughter. One of the last group of Tok'ra symbiotes born.>

Shock resonated through Tels, unable to comprehend the fact that Selmak was female. Then she became aware of a strange warmth, almost burning sensation in her ankle and the pain from it began to diminish. <Okay, what are you doing now?> she asked suspiciously.

came the answer.

<No, its fine> Tels said slowly. Maybe she was telling the truth after all. She seemed sincere. She laughed out loud slightly.

Jack glanced down at her. “What's so funny?” he asked, grateful she was a light weight.

“I'm talking to myself and not supplying my own answers,” Tels replied. “I think she is telling the truth. About being Tok'ra I mean.”

“There's the gate!” Paul yelled.

As they ran to the gate, the jaffa behind them began to spread out so they could surround the forces at the gate. However as they did so, they ran into the mines the rest of SG5 had planted. The big guns fired again. “Dial it up!” Paul yelled into his radio. “Start evac-ing now!”

They reached the gate. Jack handed Tels over to the security detachment. They grasped her firmly, her ankle being stable enough to take some of her weight although not all of it yet.

Tels looked at the gate worriedly, knowing what awaited her and if she were honest it terrified her. She watched as the gate opened, the vortex whooshing outwards before settling back into the blue event horizon. The GDO codes sent, two security officers on either side, propelled her swiftly through the gate.

On the other side she glanced round. She paled. A full security detail met them, armed to the teeth, all weapons locked and loaded and pointed at her. <Nooooooooooooo!> Her instinct was to flee to run back through the gate which would kill her.

Brad Hunter, her CO and General Hammond were there too. Hammond looked at the guards holding her. “Take her to a holding cell. Maximum security. Col Pitt get to the infirmary and get checked out. Then come to my office.”

The guards forced Tels from the room as she did her best not to struggle. Several of the security team following her. The distaste and distrust on their faces was more than she could bear, but she was not going to show it. <This is your fault!> she yelled at Cha'ris as they dragged her down the hallway. <You ruined my life! In fact you took my life!>

They reached the brig on level 22 and pushed her into the cell. She cried out as her weight fell on her broken ankle and fell to the ground. Leaning down one of the MP's removed the ribbon device she still wore, untied her wrists then left her in the cell.

Panic flooded her. She couldn't do this. As the main door slammed shut she curled up into a ball, holding her ankle, finally giving into the tears. What was she doing? Was this what she wanted, where she wanted to be? Would it ever feel like home again? If no one trusted her, then she ought to leave. But then she realised with a shock she had no where else to go.

Not knowing how Tels would take it Cha'ris decided she had nothing to lose. She gently expanded her presence, comforting Tels.

Tels shrugged her off. <Leave me alone> she sobbed.

Cha'ris retreated, silently wondering which of the Tok'ra would come for her and whether she would survive the extraction.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Tels's dreams that night were haunted. She woke screaming several times and lay in the dark shaking and crying. A mix of her memories and those of whatever her name was. Erida?

<Cha'ris> came the gentle correction. <My name is Cha'ris>

<And you are a sna…Tok'ra.> Tels said quietly, repeating what she had been told.

<The others will confirm this when they arrive.> Cha'ris paused. <Telsia why are you so frightened. I am not going to harm you I promise.>

Cha'ris winced at that. <I'm sorry, but had I not done that then Thanatos would have killed you. Is that what you want?>

<Yes! No. Oh I don't know. I can't think, need to be alone.>

<Reblend?? Oh no. No way.> Tels withdrew as much as possible and fell back into a restless sleep. Once again she woke screaming having dreamt she was tied to the table with the symbiote slithering up her body. “Nooooooooooooo!”

<Its okay> Cha'ris said trying to calm her down. <You're safe.>

<Safe? I am in a holding cell. With someone else in my head? That's not safe.> Tels curled up in the corner, awake enough to panic properly now.

Tels thought for a minute. <What have I got to lose?> she said. <Give it your best shot.>

Cha'ris said confused.

<Go for it, do it> Tels explained. <Just don't hurt me anymore.>

Cha'ris said and gently expanded herself, calming Tels down and regulating her breathing.

<Thanks> Tels said, amazed at how much better she felt. <And the nightmares? You can deal with them too?>

<Please. They took my watch so I have no idea what time it is but I am so tired.>

<Then sleep> Cha'ris said slowly and gently inducing a state of sleep.

--- --- --- --- --- ---

While Tels slept the base alarms went off. “Incoming traveller ……. It's the Tok'ra Sir.”

“Open the iris,” Hammond stood at the foot of the ramp.

Four Tok'ra stepped though, carrying various pieces of equipment. Hammond crossed over to the lead Tok'ra. “Jacob, thank you for coming.” He looked at the others. “Anise, I wasn't expecting to see you.”

“You said in your transmission you wanted to use the zatarg and I am the expert so they sent me. The other two are here for the removal. We brought all we need.” She introduced the other two Tok'ra and they left the Gateroom.

Jacob looked at Hammond . “What happened?”

Hammond explained as they walked. “Two senior officers from SG5 were on a routine recon mission when they got captured by one of the system lords. One of them – Commander Telsia Jameson got taken as a host. The symbiote claims she is Tok'ra not Goa'uld. We were under the assumption that the Tok'ra don't take hosts, but obviously we need to know if the symbiote that entered Tels is Tok'ra or a Goa'uld changing sides. I guess we could just use a Tollan detachment device, but I would rather Tels be free of any kind of influence to chose freely if she wishes to be blended IF the symbiote does prove to be Tok'ra.”

“What is the symbiotes name?” Jacob asked. “Have either of them said anything?”

“She was taken straight to a holding cell. According to the officer who was taken prisoner with her the symbiotes name was Erida. What I would like is for you to use the zatarg when they are blended and then again….” Hammond stopped as he realised Jacob had stood still. “Jacob?”

“Erida? Queen of Thanatos?”

Hammond nodded. “That was the other name Col Pitt mentioned. Why?”

Jacob resumed walking. “No matter. Carry on.”

“And test Tels again after the symbiote is removed. If this Erida is of Tok'ra mind then she shouldn't object to the removal as the host should be willing. We can't take any chances after the Tanith incident. His host, Hebron gave us no indication as to Tanith's true nature.”

Anise nodded. “Fair enough General. Where can we set up?”

“We have set aside Med Lab 3C for you. However I would rather the removal be done in the infirmary with our Doctor present. Tels will be brought to you under heavy guard when you are ready. I want to be absolutely sure Tels wishes to be reunited with the symbiote before allowing it and only if you are convinced of its loyalty to the Tok'ra. If after she is free from being a host she wishes to remain that way, then you can do with Erida as you see fit.”

“I understand,” Anise said when it was obvious that Jacob wasn't going to. “We do not take unwilling hosts but any information we can get from Erida will be invaluable.”

Hammond paused and looked at her. “Should Tels wish to reblend after we know whose side Erida is on, I want the decision to be hers as to whether she stays here or not.”

Anise nodded. “We will let you know when we are set up.”

- --- --- --- --- ---

As the outer door of the cell opened Cha'ris woke Tels. <We have company> she told her giving her control.

Tels looked up. Four heavily armed MP's pointed MP-5's at her. Hammond stood the other side of the bars. “The Tok'ra are ready for you,” he told her.

“What do they want?” she asked.

“You will be zatarg tested to begin with and then Erida. They will then remove Erida and test you again.”

Tels paled, her reaction mimicking the shard of fear from Cha'ris. She had known this might happen but knowing it was now a certainty filled her with apprehension and dread.

Hammond looked at her. “Are you okay?”

She shook her head. “Terrified,” she said quietly.

“Tels we have to be certain that Erida is who she says she is. We cannot allow a Goa'uld into the SGC. You know that. Likewise we cannot allow the information you possess to fall into the hands of the enemy. The Tok'ra do not *take* hosts. Even they are surprised that this happened.”

Knowing she had no choice didn't help. Well she did have a choice, just not the choice she wanted. She either went with them voluntarily or they dragged her. She took a deep breath and stood up. “Okay I'm ready.” Her eyes glowed for an instant.

Hammond took an involuntary step backwards even though the bars still separated them. Hearing it from Pitt and Harley was one thing, seeing it for himself was something else entirely.

Cha'ris said “As am I. I have nothing to hide General Hammond.” She didn't bother to correct him on her name. She was used to being called Erida and her real name obviously hadn't got back to them yet. She gave control back to Tels. <You can do this> she assured her. <Just tell them the truth as you saw it.>

Hammond nodded to the guards. One of them moved to the cell door. As he did so Tels heard the unmistakable sound of three MP-5's being made ready to fire. “No sudden moves,” he told her. “Lie down on the floor with your hands behind your back.”

Tels looked at him and did as she was told. She closed her eyes, hearing the door open and three sets of footsteps cross the room. She heard the cuffs before she felt the cold metal encircling her wrists, then she was pulled to her feet. She opened her eyes as a hand grabbed her arm and led her from the room towards Med Lab 3C.

Four Tok'ra stood waiting. Tels noticed that one of them was Jacob. She wasn't prepared for Cha'ris reaction as she sensed Selmak's presence. She was taken back by the depth of feeling and lost her balance slightly to be pulled upright by the MP holding her. None of the figures in the room smiled at her and she felt like a school kid called into the head teacher's office. She had done nothing wrong. Why were they treating her as if she had?

She was sat in the chair and her legs restrained before they unfastened her wrists and strapped her in to the rest of the restraints. Panic filled her, this wasn't her fault. She didn't want any of this. Glancing up she could see Hammond and Brad. She could see the expression in his eyes and wished desperately they had just left her behind to die when the building blew.

Anise came over and there was a moment of pain as she inserted the metal chip. Tels winced but managed to stay silent.

“Are you ready?” Anise asked.

“I have no choice. Just do it.”

Anise nodded and went back behind the machine. She looked at Tels. “Direct your vision here Commander. Answer honestly and as fully as you can.”

Tels nodded, moving her hands against the restraints, until the sound of a gun hammer being pulled back made her freeze.

“Name rank and serial number,” Anise said.

“Jameson Telsia Kathlyn, Commander, CS795202Z.”

“Can you recount for us the events on the mission you have just been on? As much detail as possible.”

Tels took a deep breath, trying unsuccessfully to stop her voice from shaking. “Col Pitt and I had taken two cadets to P6C-978. It was supposedly an easy training mission, my first back after sick leave. Intel from the Tok'ra suggested that the planet was safe – well as safe as any I guess. We were walking through the forest, cracking jokes about age catching up with us when we were attacked. Jack sent the cadets back to the gate while we laid down covering fire. Then Jack got hit by staff fire and I went over to him. Then something hit me, pain and I guess I blacked out.”

Jacob spoke for the first time since she had entered the room. A sense of familiarity had swept over him, taking him and Selmak by surprise and it had taken a few minutes to deal with. “You say the Intel came from us?”

Tels tried to nod but her head was securely fastened down. “Yes. We would not have gone otherwise.”

“We sent no such Intel. In fact we have been concerned that a System Lord was setting up a base there. Had we known your intentions we would have warned you against going,” he told her.

“I don't understand. We were told it was safe.”

“Continue,” Anise said. “What happened next?”

“I came round in a cell in a palace of some kind. I was beaten, tortured by the jaffa while the Goa'uld watched. He wanted my iris codes amongst other things. It was Thanatos.”

”Did you know him before or after the blending?”

“Before. Long story. Classified. If I told you I would have to shoot you and then General Hammond would shoot me for telling you. Then he got his jaffa to try to teach me some manners. Didn't work. Thanatos that is, not General Hammond.” She knew she was babbling but she was scared.

Jacob smiled slightly. “Then what?”

“They beat me until I passed out. I woke tied to a table wearing nothing but a sheet. Thanatos came in and pulled off the sheet. He told me to say goodbye to Jack and that the Tau'ri rebellion would end at the hands of their god. I told him that he wasn't my god and that if I had to die I would die free. He told me I would neither die nor be free and I would serve him as his queen.”

Tels broke off, the memories overwhelming her. She was reliving it in more ways than one, the memory chip enhancing it. All the feelings, pain and fear that she had experienced then were present now. Her breathing increased as she recalled the panic of seeing the symbiote and knowing what was about to happen. “Then he ...he… Naaaa! Alla t gwna hon … Let me go! Ad 'm cer! Chyfnertha 'm! Gwna 'i arhosa!” She fought against the restraints desperate to get free.

The MP's reacted instantly bringing their weapons to bear as Tels managed to get her head free. The four Tok'ra also raised their zats.

Brad thumbed the mile from the observation room. “Hold your fire!” He ran down the stairs, ignoring Hammond 's argument that it wasn't safe. “She's scared not dangerous,” he called back. Entering the Med Lab he crossed over to Tels. He hunkered down next to her, keeping where she could see him, but staying out of the line of fire.

He put a hand on her arm. “It's okay Tels,” he said quietly. “You're safe.”

Tels struggled managing to get one arm free. “Naaaaa! Ad 'm cer! Ad 'm cer! Chyfnertha 'm! Gwna 'i arhosa!” (Nooooo! Let me go! Let me go! Help me! Make it stop!)

Brad held up his other hand. “Hold your fire!” he repeated. “She's speaking Welsh not Goa'uld.” Not taking his eyes off Tels he gently took hold of the arm she had freed, keeping hold of the other one. He could tell how scared she was as she had reverted to her native Welsh. Speaking quietly but firmly he said, “Tels look at me. You're safe now. I know you're scared but its okay. It's just memories, they can't hurt you.”

Tels looked at him her struggles slowing but her voice full of fear and panic. “Fi m brawychedig. Fi m fel ar ei ben ei hun.” (I'm frightened. I am so alone)

He put her free arm back on the chair pulling the restraint back across it. “No Tels. You are not alone. I'm here – with you every step of the way. You can do this.”

She shook her head. “Na, Alla t.” (No, I can't.)

“Yes you can Tels.” Brad pushed her hair out of her eyes, gently refastening the head strap.

“Paham 'm? Beth neis at deilyngu hon?” (Why me? What did I do to deserve this?)

“Look at me.” He smiled at her as she did so. “It's not your fault. He can't hurt you now. Just treat this like a normal debrief okay?”

Tels nodded. “Fi m 'n chwith. Faddau 'm.” (I'm sorry. Forgive me)

“Nothing to forgive. You okay to continue?”

“Ie Syr.”(Yes Sir.)

“Good girl.”

She took a deep breath. “Fi m 'n barod.” (I'm ready.)

Brad stepped back, leaning against the wall.

Tels looked straight ahead. “Thanatos took a symbiote from one of the female jaffa I guess you'd call them. He was gloating. Fi m brawychedig. {I'm frightened} I can't move. He put it on my chest. I don't want to. Chyfnertha 'm! {help me} It's crawling up me, curling round my neck. Blesio na, gwiSGC t angen at. NAAAAAAAA!” {Please no, I don't want to. NOOOOOOOO} Her eyes widened. “Anafa!! Anafa! Oh it hurts. 'i yn turio i mewn i 'm fwnwgl” {its burrowing into my neck}

“Move past the pain Tels,” Brad told her.

“Alla t. It's pushing its way inside me. Can't stop it. Anafa! Naaaaa!”

“Yes you can. Move on. What happened next?” Brad insisted firmly. “Speak in English Tels. It will help you focus.”

Tels caught her breath, tears streaming down her face, forcing herself to think and speak in English. “I blacked out from the pain. When I came round I wasn't in control of my own body. There was another presence in my head, thoughts that weren't mine. Then SG5 came in and rescued us. I broke my ankle on the way out. Jack carried me after Paul ordered him to.”

Brad looked at her sharply. “No one said anything about you having a broken ankle. Did the Doc come to see you at all?”

“No. No one came, but it's fixed now. She helped me sleep too, stopped the nightmares.”

Anise looked at the dial then over at Hunter and then up at the observation room and nodded slightly. Then she looked at Tels. “We need to speak to Erida now.” Glancing back at Brad she added, “I suggest you go back to the observation room for your own safety.”

Brad looked over at Tels, then nodded and left the room.

Tels's eyes glowed and her body stiffened and seemed to take on a whole new demeanour as Cha'ris took over. Cha'ris looked up at the window of the observation room. Several more members of SG5 were there now. She felt like a freak in a sideshow, like they were waiting for her to perform.

Then she looked at the Tok'ra. She could sense Selmak more now. But the host was different. She wondered what had happened to Saroosh, what had happened to her family in the 200 years she had been missing. Waves of emotion flooded her. She had never expected to see Selmak again. “What is it you wish to know?” she asked.

“First you should know it is impossible to lie with this technology,” Anise told her.

“My host made me aware of this,” came the reply. “What do you wish to know?”

“Thanatos,” Anise said. “You are his queen Erida?”

“To my shame, yes I am. I have had to live as such for many years, enduring the things that I was forced to do and watch him do. I wanted to escape but there was no opportunity to as he never trusted me.”

“Are you Goa'uld?”

“No.”

Several pairs of eyes swung down to the dial in front of Anise. It was blue with a hint of red.

Cha'ris continued. “It is true that I have lived as Erida for over 200 years. But I was sent undercover by the Tok'ra on a mission to infiltrate Thanatos palace, serving a maidservant to Erida. It has been many years since I was called by my real name.”

“Which is?” Anise asked.

“Cha'ris of Tannoch.”

There was a visible reaction from Jacob although he managed to stifle the gasp. Selmak's feelings resonated through him. “Cha'ris is dead,” Jacob said slowly. “She was killed 200 years ago when Hermes attacked Thanatos homeworld.”

“I did not die in the attack, although I have since wished many times that I had done so. The story Thanatos circulated was that the Tok'ra spy was killed by Hermes when he attacked. That was not correct. Thanatos was away when Hermes forces attacked the palace. The token jaffa that Thanatos had left were soon killed as was everyone else; with the exception of Thanatos Queen and her personal maid Esther, my host. Esther and Erida were taken before Hermes. He tortured us greatly, extracting Erida and murdering her in front of her host Regelia. Esther was also killed, but before he could kill Regelia, Thanatos returned.”

She glanced up at Jacob then continued. “I could not heal Esther, although I tried. Regelia was still alive although severely injured. I left Esther and entered Regelia, assuming the identity of Erida.”

Anise looked at Jacob. “Does Selmak know her?”

“Yes,” he said shortly. Jacob was unwilling to give anymore details and touched Anise's arm and silently asked to question her himself. He asked for details prompted by Selmak that an impostor would not have known the answers to.

The questioning continued for almost two hours with Cha'ris supplying intimate details of her life with Thanatos.

“What happened to Regelia for you to end up in a jaffa?”

“She was killed,” Cha'ris answered, not wanting to elaborate. “I watched her suffer and die before being placed into a tank of fluid. He kept me there until the tank broke. Then he placed me in the jaffa until he could find a host. This was a day or so before the Tau'ri arrived.”

Then Jacob looked at her. “Why did you take Telsia as a host when you know we do not do that?”

“I had no choice. I needed a host. I knew that the Tau'ri never leave people behind and that this would be my best chance at escape and returning home.” She looked at him hoping to see understanding in his eyes but not finding it. “I couldn't take anymore of his brutality. 200 years of beatings; of being forced to act like one of them. Of never being trusted. I had to get out of there. My chance came and I took it. Had I not done so Telsia would have been killed.”

Jacob turned away, Selmak's feelings reverberating throughout him. There was deep joy at having Cha'ris back, that she was alive after all these years. And horror and disgust and deep disappointment at what she had done to Tels. The thought <She should have died> rang through his mind and he didn't want the others in the room to see the shock or that thought in his eyes.

Anise looked at the screen which had remained blue throughout and then glanced up at Hammond . He nodded and Anise turned back to Cha'ris. “You will be escorted to the infirmary where you will be removed from the host, so she may decide what she wishes to do. If she is willing you may be returned to her if that is what you want.”

Cha'ris thought for a moment. Tels had retreated to the back of her mind, shutting out what she was saying and doing. She had no doubt another host would be found eventually. Despite everything she had found something in Tels that struck home with her. They would be good together.

But it was not her decision anymore. She had given up the rights to that voluntarily. “I wish to remain with Telsia, but I will not stay in an unwilling host. Should she wish to remain unblended then I accept her decision.”

Anise nodded to the MP's then looked back at Cha'ris. “Return control to the host.”

Cha'ris nodded and retreated, only too aware of the hurt in the eyes of Selmak's host, no doubt mirroring her feelings.

Tels looked up, fear in her eyes.

Anise looked up at Hammond . “We are ready now Commander,” she said. Looking back at Tels she said, “We will remove the symbiote and then retest you. You will then have a few hours to decide what you wish to do.”

“What happens to Cha'ris then?”

“She will go into stasis. Should you decide not to host Cha'ris she will remain in stasis until a new host can be found.”

“What if you can't find one?” Tels asked knowing the answer already as Cha'ris had told her.

Anise unstrapped her and just looked at her. “She stays in stasis indefinitely. Or she dies.”

Tels looked over at Jacob. “She would like to speak with Selmak if that's possible.”

“Selmak doesn't want to speak to her right now,” Jacob said.

Hammond and Brad entered the room and indicated to the MP's. “It's time,” Hammond told her. “Let's go.”

Pushing aside Cha'ris reaction to that, Tels stood and went with them to the infirmary, aware of the armed MP's behind her.

--- --- --- ---

One day later .

Tels lay curled up on the bed in the infirmary. She still felt sick although there could be nothing left in her stomach by now. The removal had gone to plan according to the Tok'ra but was not something she wanted to go through again. It had taken four hours using a combination of drugs in order for Cha'ris to be dislodged and leave her.

The Docs had sedated her to make her sleep after she had lain awake for hours. Then the nightmares started. A combination of her unit being wiped out the first time she came across Thanatos and always ending with her being strapped down and the symbiote placed onto her. She would desperately try to wake but the sedatives made it impossible.

She glanced across the room to where the stasis chamber containing Cha'ris sat. Selmak stood next to it, her hand on the glass. Only she didn't know how she knew it was Selmak in control and not Jacob; she just did. She remembered how Cha'ris felt about her and the pain that had seared through her when Selmak didn't want to speak to her. She had been present during the removal, watching silently and then stood by the tank as they placed Cha'ris inside it.

She didn't know how she was meant to feel. It was like part of her was missing - which was crazy. She was herself again; something she didn't think was possible. But now she was alone again, was it what she wanted? What did she want? She had no one she could call family. They had abandoned her when she left to go to university, never writing even on her birthday or Christmas.

Two figures appeared by her bedside and she looked up. Hammond and Brad. She sighed inwardly knowing what they wanted.

“How are you doing?” Brad asked.

Tels shrugged, returning her gaze to the stasis tank. Selmak's expression was unreadable but her eyes spoke volumes.

Brad followed her gaze. “It's entirely your decision,” he said gently. “But I am curious. How much of the symbiote is still there?”

“Some memories, flashes of things. It's weird.”

Hammond cleared his throat. “Whatever you decide you can stay here at the SGC. Of course should you decide to reblend then the Tok'ra will want to debrief…”

“Cha'ris,” Tels said. “Slightly easier to pronounce than Erida.”

Hammond smiled. “But Selmak has said she will do that herself here. How do they know each other anyway?”

Tels glanced over to where Selmak was still standing by the stasis tank. “They go way back Sir. I can't really say without speaking to them first though. Can we go get this over with?”

“Sure.”

Hammond looked over at Selmak not realising who was in control. “Jacob are you joining us?” he said.

Tels was aware of the sudden change between host and symbiote although again she had no idea how.

Jacob nodded

The two senior officers led Tels back to Med Lab 3C where she was once again strapped into the chair. To start with the questioning followed the same lines as before until it came to the subject of the blending. Jacob let Anise handle the questions, not trusting Selmak to keep her anger under control if he spoke.

“How did you feel when the symbiote was produced?” Anise asked.

“Frightened. Absolutely terrified.”

“Nothing else?”

“I didn't want to become one of them. I would rather have died, been burnt at the stake and hung, drawn and quartered. Anything but become a host.” She broke off, forcing herself to think and speak in English. “I wanted to go home. I wanted my life as it was, not as one of them.”

“And as it happened? As the symbiote entered your body and took over?” Anise persisted.

“Violated. It hurt, a lot. In more ways than one. I wanted to die.”

Anise looked at the monitor and then back at Tels. “And now? How do you feel now we have removed the symbiote?”

“Sick and sore,” Tels shot back. “How do you think I feel?”

“We do not take unwilling hosts. I didn't hear you say you agreed to host her. You were tied down, scared, you would have preferred death. You just said so.”

“Cha'ris could have betrayed Paul when he came in disguised as a jaffa but she didn't. She could have let Thanatos kill Jack but she didn't. She sent Jack out with Paul hoping they would escape. I knew they would mine the building to blow on their way out. Cha'ris planned to keep Thanatos in the building until the charges went off, ensuing that he and her, us I guess died in the blast.”

Anise looked at her. “And how did she plan on doing that?”

“We were his wife!” Tels responded sharply. Deliberately using the word we. “She cringed when he touched her. He hurt her. But if it meant him dying this time then she would have sacrificed herself to ensure that. And judging by the reaction we got maybe we should have done. Told Paul to go without us, stayed in the building until it exploded; killing both us and Thanatos.”

Jacob looked at her and said quietly “So you worked together?”

“Yeah I guess we did. Just a shame it didn't work the way we intended.”

“Have you had time to consider what you want to do?”

Tels shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“The decision is yours. Cha'ris made her feelings clear before the separation as to what she wanted.”

“Which was?” Tels asked. “She never told me. Just said she had made her choice and would abide by mine.”

“It's your choice no one else's. It's a lifetime commitment not something you can do for a month or so and then stop.”

“What does Cha'ris want?” Tels asked again. “It has to be a mutual choice doesn't it?”

Jacob looked at her. “Cha'ris said the choice was yours but she did want to reblend if you did.”

“How long have I got to make a decision?”

Anise looked at her. “We cannot put it off for much longer. If you chose to re-blend then Selmak will remain here with you for a few days. If not we need to leave, taking Cha'ris with us to find her a new host.”

“Can I have an hour?” Tels asked.

Anise looked at Jacob and nodded. “An hour maybe two but no more.”

- --- --- --- ---

Tels sat on a stool in the infirmary next to the stasis tank in which Cha'ris floated. She hadn't moved the whole 40 minutes Tels had been sat there. She looked up as she felt someone stand behind her. “Hello Selmak” she said, again somehow knowing who was in control.

“I apologise for what she did to you,” Selmak said awkwardly. “She should have found another way.”

“Maybe,” Tels said quietly. “And you don't need to apologise for her.”

“She is my daughter. I feel responsible for her actions.”

“Please don't, because you're not.”

Selmak looked at the symbiote floating in front of her and placed a hand on the glass. “Up until now I have only had my memories. I have believed her dead for 200 years and grieved for her. And yet she was alive all this time.”

Tels looked over at the tank and said, “Maybe you could answer a question for me?”

Selmak nodded. “If I can.”

“What's she like? Really like?”

Selmak looked away. “That's a tough question. Right now I am extremely angry with her, for the way she acted towards you for one thing. I am sure she had her reasons but that does not excuse her for acting the way she did. She broke one of our most sacred rules and for that I ….” Selmak broke off trying to bring her anger under control.

Tels sat quietly while Selmak spoke. Then she noticed the subtle change as Jacob took control.

“Sorry,” he said. “Her feelings run very deep right now. She had thought Cha'ris dead for so many years, to suddenly get her back is overwhelming her. But I could tell you about Cha'ris from Selmak's memories if that would help.”

Tels would rather have heard it from Selmak herself but that wasn't an option and she nodded. “Please.”

Jacob took a deep breath. “Selmak says that Cha'ris has a great sense of humour, thinks clearly in a crisis and likes playing devils advocate. Once she makes a friend or takes a host she sticks with them no matter what. She will put the needs of the host above her own, which often annoys Ka'nire.”

“Ka'nire?” Tels asked. “She thought of him soon after we were ….. Who is he?”

“They look upon each other as brother and sister. Ka'nire was devastated by her death. They were, are incredibly close.”

“She has more family than I do. I just have me,” Tels said thoughtfully. “What happens if she meets someone and falls for them? How does that work?”

“Or you do,” Jacob smiled.

Tels shook her head. “Not me,” she said. “I'm destined to live alone.”

“We live and love as one,” he told her. “You generally end up falling for the same person. Likewise grief. When she is sad, you experience it too and vice versa. She may well mourn her previous host if you reblend. So you will mourn her too.”

“I don't know what to do,” she whispered. “She did save my life and that of the team sent to retrieve me.”

“No one is going to force you to host her,” he said gently. “Just because she wants it or you feel you owe her doesn't mean you have to. You do it because *you* want to.”

She looked at Jacob. “What's it like being a host? How did you decide?”

He smiled. “I had about five minutes to decide. Selmak and her host were dying. I was dying. You could say it was a choice between a rock and a hard place. SG1 was trying to negotiate an alliance with the Tok'ra. Blending with Selmak saved her life, my life and sealed the alliance. Maybe that made it easier. I don't know.”

Tels's hand went to the back of her neck. “It hurt,” she said.

Jacob took her other hand. “Tels,” he said. “Only the Goa'uld take hosts that way. The Tok'ra enter through the mouth and the soft tissue at the back of the throat. I won't pretend it doesn't hurt but it's not as traumatic. And the Doc said she can give you something first anyway if you wanted to reblend. Just a mild relaxant to make it slightly easier.”

Tels looked at him coming to a decision. “Okay. I'll do it. I'll have her back.”

Jacob looked hard at her. “Are you sure?”

“You gonna give me the ‘a symbiote is for life and not just for Christmas' line?” she asked.

Jacob gave a short laugh. “Something like that.”

“Yeah I'm sure. But I do have one favour to ask.”

“What's that?”

“Would you stay? Do what ever needs to be done. Just you, I don't want a room full of strangers. It's going to sound daft but it feels like I know you, well Selmak anyway.”

“Sure. Did you want the Doc to give you something first?”

Tels nodded. “Please.”

Jacob got up and moved away in search of the Doc.

Tels put her hand on the glass. “I hope I made the right decision,” she said. “Cos you and I are gonna be together for a long time.”

The Doc came over and gave Tels a shot. She stayed sat by the tank for a few more minutes.

Jacob looked at her. “It's time,” he said. “Are you sure?”

Tels looked at Cha'ris and nodded. “Yeah.”

Jacob took her hand. “Come on then.” He helped Tels to her feet.

“Whoa!” she said swaying slightly. “What was in that stuff she gave me?”

“A Selmak special,” Jacob smiled. He led her to the bed and sat her down. “Lie down on your side.”

Tels looked at him and lay on her side, scared but not panicked because of the meds.

Jacob opened the tank and carefully removed Cha'ris. Then he carefully crossed over to Tels. “Just open your mouth,” he told her laying Cha'ris on the bed beside her and taking Tels's hand. “She'll do the rest.”

Tels did as he asked, closing her eyes tightly and opening her mouth. She felt Cha'ris move into her mouth and for an instant she thought she was going to choke and her eyes sprung open. She squeezed Jacob's hand hard. There was pain as Cha'ris burrowed through the back of her throat and wrapped herself around her spine. Everything started to spin and she began to cry uncontrollably.

Jacob laid a hand on the back of her neck, relaxing slightly as Selmak assured him that Cha'ris was there and okay. Then he pulled Tels into his arms and held her tightly. He rocked her and spoke calmly with soft nothings like a father would a child.

< Awron ]m 'n ddau> Tels told her. (Now we are two.)

Tels sat on her bed in the infirmary, her arms wrapped around her knees. It had been three days since she had blended with Cha'ris. She had spent most of the time with Jacob. An almost instant rapport had sprung up between them once they had got over the initial awkwardness of the intense feelings the symbiotes had for each other. He assured her that he would always be there for her no matter what. Selmak had still not properly spoken with Cha'ris, choosing not to tell her how she felt, instead concentrating on debriefing her over her life as Thanatos Queen.

Cha'ris mourned for her previous host, the depth of feeling taking Tels by surprise. She wouldn't say how Regelia had died; just that it had been Thanatos who had killed her. Both Jacob and Selmak pushed the issue until Cha'ris retreated, leaving a tearful Tels in control.

She had had several visitors. The first of which was Harley.

“Hey,” he said crossing the room. “I just got back from the clear up on 798. How are you?”

“Okay,” she replied looking at him.

“It's good to have you back. You had us worried there for a bit. Going all glowy eyed on us like that. Still now you got rid of the snake and are back to normal, you'll be out in the field again in no time.”

Tels looked away. “I chose to re-blend,” she said quietly. “I thought everyone knew.”

“WHAT??!” Harley yelled.

Hammond was on his way to a meeting with the Doc to see when Tels was likely to be released to her quarters. He paused just outside the main infirmary door as he heard shouting coming from within.

“HOW COULD YOU??” Harley continued. “SHE'S A GOA'ULD!!!”

“Cha'ris is Tok'ra not Goa'uld,” Tels said pushing herself back into the headboard as he put his arms on the bed and leaned towards her.

“She Is A Snake!” he yelled. “They are ALL THE SAME! How long is it gonna take you to realise that?? You're a fool Tels!”

Cowering back on the bed, she put an instinctive arm up to protect herself.

“Where's the traitorous snake now then?” he taunted, leaning closer. “Isn't she going to protect you? Or is she just a coward like the rest of them??”

Hammond stormed into the room and swung Harley round away from Tels. “Is there a problem here Airman?” he demanded angrily.

Harley glared and shook himself free. “I should say so Sir! Why did you let her stay blended?”

“It was their decision. Both Tels and Cha'ris's decided together.”

“Maybe so, but I am gonna have a hard time trusting a former Goa'uld turned Tok'ra. I ask that you watch her every move.”

“That isn't necessary.”

“Yes It Is. She betrayed Thanatos without a second thought. What makes you so sure she won't betray us the same way?”

At that point Tels had fled the room in tears, taking refuge in the adjoining bathroom, refusing to come out until both men had gone.

Her other visitors had also watched her suspiciously. Always asking how she was, and then wanted to talk to Cha'ris. She tried explaining that Cha'ris was going through a period of adjustment right now and wasn't up to talking to anyone. They all seemed sympathetic but Tels wondered how much of it was a front and just who else shared Harley's point of view. <Is this what it's gonna be like from now on?> she wondered miserably staring at the infirmary walls. <No one trusting me or you?>

Cha'ris hugged her. <Give them time Tels. It is as new for them as it is for you.>

<Probably. And since last night. You didn't object but I can stop if you want?>

<No, it seems right somehow. Does Cha'ris get shortened at all?>

<Cha. Ni, Ka'nire always called me that.>

<Cha> Tels said trying it. <Suits you. Mind if I call you that?>

--- --- --- --- ---

The debriefing finished, Jacob was due to return to the Alpha Site that afternoon. Not sure how she felt about that she had wanted to see him off but she was still confined to the infirmary. He had come to say goodbye, promising to keep in touch.

A voice startled her out of her reverie. “Tels?”

She looked up. “Hi. Was wondering when you would show. It's been 5 days.” She pointed to the chair by the bed. “Have a seat.”

“No thanks. Sorry I just…” Jack broke off. “I can't believe you did it. Why??”

“It was the right thing to do. And it was my choice no one else's.”

“That's the drugs talking not you. You would never Ever do this of your own accord.”

“I thought you of all people would understand.”

“And I thought you had more sense! This isn't you. After everything they did to you… to us… you are gonna host one of them??”

Tels looked away. “I wanted to do it.”

“Then you are a fool. I thought you were a friend, part of this family the CO is always going on about. Someone I could trust with my life. I was wrong. You're not.”

“Not what?” Tels asked in a strangled voice. His comments struck her to the core.

“A friend or part of this family as long as you betray us by hosting that snake! And you lost my trust the instant you decided to reblend.”

“Fine! If you can't accept me as I am then there is no point in continuing. Dismissed Colonel!”

Jack glared at her and shaking his head in disgust turned and left.

Tels hunched up tighter on the bed. The two people she considered her closest friends had disowned her.

The Doc looked over at Tels. “That was unkind.”

She shrugged in response. “He doesn't approve of me becoming a host. If we are going to keep the friendship not to mention the work side of things, he has to trust me and he can no longer do that.” She sighed. “I bet everyone feels like that now. The whole of SG5 probably do. Oh they have all been in and out but you can tell they are waiting for me to go ‘glowy-eyed' on them. I'm a novelty, a news item. I'm not me anymore. Not the person they knew. Maybe I should just leave and go with the Tok'ra.”

“Is that what you want?” the Doc asked. “To leave?”

“I can't stay where I am not wanted. Has Jacob left yet?”

“I don't think so.”

Tels swung her legs over the edge of the bed. “I have to catch him before he leaves. Get him to wait for me so I can go with him.” She stood up and lost her balance. The Doc caught her just as Cha'ris adjusted.

“Hey! You are going nowhere. You are in no fit state to go anywhere.” She sat Tels back on the bed. “Promise me you will not do anything or go anywhere til I come back.”

“Where are you going?” Tels asked lying back on the pillows.

“To get Jacob or General Hammond.”

“Why?”

“Because they can probably talk sense into you. And you can't leave the base without Hammond 's say so anyway. Now stay put.”

Tels nodded and watched as the Doc left. <Where do we go from here?> She wondered the words to the Andrew Lloyd Webber song running through her mind. <This isn't where we intended to be. We had it all I believed in you, you believed in me. Certainties disappear, what can we do for our dream to survive?> She looked up as she heard someone come into the room.

Hammond looked at the other medics in the room and nodded to them. He waited until they left before saying, “Jacob just left, he said goodbye. The Doc says you aren't happy. What's up?”

Tels turned away. She'd left it too late. She should have gone after Harley came to visit the day after the re-blending.

Hammond sat next to her. “I am not leaving until you talk to me.” There was no answer. Hammond sighed and settled back in the chair. The Doc stuck her head round the door and looked at him. He shook his head.

“Coffee Sir?”

“Please,” Hammond replied.

The Doc looked at Tels. “Tels?” she asked.

Tels shrugged. She didn't want to be here full stop never mind coffee. <Maybe if I just ignore him he will go away>

When the Doc returned with the drinks they were still sat in silence. She handed Hammond the coffee and then held the other mug to Tels. “Soup. Drink it,” she said.

Tels ignored her.

The Doc insisted. “You haven't eaten anything for the past two days so unless you want an IV you will drink this.”

Tels reached out and took the cup. She smelt it gingerly – potato and leek, her favourite. “Thanks.” She sipped it slowly. It did taste good she had to admit. She glanced over her shoulder. Hammond was still sat there. She sighed. She sipped the soup a bit more, aware the Doc was watching.

Satisfied Tels was drinking the soup the Doc turned and left.

The song was still running through her mind. “Sir?” she said, turning to face Hammond . “Why are you at my side? How can I be any use to you now?”

Hammond looked surprised, his cup pausing halfway to his mouth. “What do you mean?”

Tels took another sip of the soup. “No one trusts me anymore. Jack doesn't. Harley definitely doesn't. The rest of SG5 don't. Oh they haven't said as much but I can tell. I don't suppose even you trust me completely anymore. So I should leave or request a transfer or something.”

“Is that what you want?” he asked

“I don't have any other option.”

"You're wrong," Hammond told her. "You have all the options! Hear me through this. As I understand it, the Tok'ra are picky on who they blend with. Even when Sarouche was dying, Selmak wanted to first approve Jacob before blending. After Tanith blended with Hebron and Col O'Neill was blended with Kanan, we can see why. Not just does the host gain from the symbiote, but it's also the other way around. With O'Neill, Kanan inherited the notion of not leaving anyone behind to the point where he went back to get the slave girl. So as you can see, the two have to be compatible because the blending of the two make up a new, different whole; a combination of personalities and ideals.”

Hammond waited a while before continuing. "Cha'ris was checked out as being the Tok'ra she claimed to be. After the initial blending she must have found the right compatibilities in you to choose to reblend and you chose it too so you must have felt something from her. Now, consider that for over 200 years Cha'ris was deep undercover pretending to be what she wasn't, always being on guard and suspicious of everything. I would think that would make anyone a little paranoid and suspicious of others intentions or notions.”

He continued, leaning forwards in then chair. “This could be magnifying any like feelings you may have already had. She, probably now, with you as a host and being back among friends found she can relax and try to be herself again. But 200 years undercover has to have had its toll. I believe you and her are going through a recovery period and being amongst your friends is the best place for you. With your newly gained knowledge and abilities you can be a great asset to the team. We could probably make the healing device part of your standard equipment for example. Think about how that could be of help for one thing. Be assured that all of SG5 are behind you and care for you deeply. As for Jack and Harley, well, let's just say that they have their own personal demons to fight. They just may be concerned for you."

He looked closely at her, hoping his words were going in. "All I ask is that you give us a chance and in time I'm sure the suspicions probably being felt from Cha'ris will subside as you see no need to not be yourself. You have to let your new whole of a person develop with this blending of two personalities. Just Remember that we are here for you. The ultimate decision is yours to stay or go. I suggest you stay while this adjustment is taking hold and then at any time later you wish to leave, you will be free to do so. But I hope that day never comes."

Finally leaning back in his chair he sipped his coffee, patiently waiting for her response.

Tels looked at him, having kept her gaze firmly on her mug of soup while he spoke; a torrent of emotions flooding her. Unwittingly he had almost given her the next line of the song. <Give me a chance and I'll let you see how nothing has changed.> She rubbed her eyes, embarrassed at crying in front of her superior officer.

Hammond handed her the tissues. “It's okay,” he told her. “Don't bottle it up.”

She took the tissues. <Deep in my heart I'm concealing, things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling, frightened you'll slip away.>

Her eyes flashed gently and then Cha'ris spoke, allowing Tels to retreat for a while. “You speak wisely General Hammond. You are right. I have spent the past 200 years unable to trust anyone and in fear of my life. Old habits, as my host would say, die hard. I apologise for adding to her burden at this time. I am also experiencing withdrawal from the sarcophagus.”

Hammond smiled at her. “There is something we can give you for that. We want to make this as easy on you as possible. On both of you. And there is no need for you to apologise for anything. You are amongst friends now. We are a family here. We care for each other, share each others problems and burdens. Tels knows this. She is part of that family. And now you are too. Not just as part of Tels but in your own right.”

Cha'ris looked at him through still glistening eyes. “My host trusts you implicitly and has great respect for you. She would never tell you this herself of course. She is afraid she is going to let you down; afraid of failing at this as she has at so many other things. She is plagued by self doubt and I am afraid that my own feelings are compounding the situation right now. But she knows how important trust is within the team and if the trust is not there then she will leave rather than get people killed on her count.”

“Neither of you need be afraid of letting me down and we are not about to throw you out either. The others need time to adjust too. You do not have to leave unless it is what you want to do.”

Cha'ris nodded. “Thank you.”

Hammond smiled at her. “You're welcome. May I speak to Tels?”

Cha'ris nodded and gave control back.

Tels looked at her CO. “Sir…” she began

Hammond shook his head. “You don't have to say it. Your place is here with us. I do not expect anymore or less of you than I have ever done. We are a family and are there for the bad times as well as the good.”

“Yes Sir.”

“No problem. I'll get the Doc to give you something to help with the withdrawal symptoms. Have you slept any?”

“Not much no.”

“I'll sort that too. If you want to talk anymore you know where to find me.” He stood and took her empty mug. “Good night.”

“Night Sir.” Tels watched him leave, feeling slightly better than she had. <It's still just the opinion of one> she said slowly.

<Maybe. Even if he orders them to work with me the trust has gone.>

Tels let the Doc sedate her and fell into a deep sleep.

--- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Despite what Hammond had said Tels found it hard to fit in in the following weeks. Jack hadn't spoken to her since that last time in the infirmary. He had requested a transfer from SG5 to SG11 and got it. He had cited irreconcilable differences with his CO as the reason. He then sent Tels an email breaking off the friendship again quoting irreconcilable differences. That hurt. Not simply the loss of the friendship, but the fact he couldn't even face her to tell her. She got his transfer confirmation notice in a memo left on her desk.

There were other people on the base too, who no longer spoke to her or trusted her. Or just simply weren't around for her anymore. She found she was spending more and more time alone and gradually only came on the base to work, spending all her off hours at home. She gradually got used to the presence of Cha'ris, the thoughts and feelings that were not here. The overwhelming love she felt for Selmak and Jacob being the most difficult to get used to.

She had yet to be assigned off world – Brad telling her that he just wanted to make sure she was up to it first. The truth she had heard in the mess, direct from him. Although not to her face – she overheard him telling one of the other CO's that she wasn't going back out in the field until he could trust her and was sure whose side Cha'ris was on.

Finally after five weeks she was allowed off world. She and Harley had gone on a supply trip to the Alpha site taking two cadets with them. On arrival, Harley had assumed command and ordered the cadets to take the supplies straight to the infirmary, rather than to Jacob. They of course deferred to Tels as the superior officer. “Ma'am?”

“Commander Hunter said to deliver them to Selmak.” Tels answered.

Harley swung round and glared at her. “I am in command here,” he said loudly. “Not her.”

One of the cadets looked at him. “With respect Sir, you are only a Major. Commander Jameson is the ranking officer here and ….”

“Commander Jameson's loyalty has yet to be determined!” Harley yelled, attracting the attention of some of the jaffa and Tok'ra in the vicinity. “In case you didn't know, she is host to a Goa'uld. You will take your orders from me is that clear?!”

“Is there a problem?” one of the Tok'ra asked.

“Everyth….” Tels began.

“No,” Harley answered, cutting her off. “Other than having to take a traitor with me, everything is fine.” He swung round to the cadets. “Now do as instructed Cadet and take those boxes to the infirmary. The sooner it's done the sooner we can leave.”

Tels looked at the Tok'ra. “Is Jacob around?”

“He's in the lab. He asked not to be disturbed but I can give him a message.”

“Please. Tell him….”

“Oh no you don't!” Harley snapped.

Tels looked at him shocked. “What? Why not?”

“Because I said so,” he hissed. “It's bad enough having to baby-sit you as it is without having you passing on secret messages and telling tales out of school.”

Tels shook her head, “I don't believe this,” she said. “If you didn't want to come then you should have requested not to.”

“I was following orders!” Harley snapped. “Which is more than you know how to do!”

“WHAT?? What have I done now?” she asked astounded, only too aware that the cadets had returned and that all activity in their vicinity had stopped as everyone's attention had been caught by Harley.

“I told those cadets to deliver the cases to the infirmary but you had to say otherwise.”

Tels felt her face colour. She opened her mouth to reply.

“You have something to say?” Harley said snidely.

Tels shook her head. “No.”

Jacob came out of the lab having heard the commotion. “Tels!” he said, hugging her. “How are you doing?”

Tels returned the hug quickly then pulled away. She glanced at Harley who was glowering at her. “We're okay,” she said lightly. “Everything's wonderful.”

He looked at her curiously then brushed his concern aside. “Did you bring the supplies? We are virtually out here.”

“They are in the infirmary,” Harley said stiffly. “Now if you'll excuse us General we are due back.”

Tels looked at him, knowing full well they had been told to show the cadets round the Alpha Site. Not going to say anything as he had made it perfectly clear who was in command she looked at him. “Shall I dial us out then Sir?”

Jacob looked at her curiously. “Tels?”

Leave it please, she teeped to him.

Harley glared at her. “You are not going anywhere near that DHD *Commander*. I'll do it.”

“Major,” Jacob began, “That is no way to….”

“It's okay,” Tels told him. Please don't make it any worse. Bad enough this many people are watching as it is .

Harley gave the order to go back to the gate then looked at Jacob. “General.”

“Major,” Jacob responded. He waited until Harley's back was turned then grabbed Tels's hand. “I'll come and visit tomorrow,” he hissed. “I want you to talk to me.”

“Come on *Commander*,” Harley yelled as he punched in the last glyph, again making the word commander sound derogatory.

“Coming,” she replied. She moved over to the gate, knowing she was in trouble, but not knowing what she had done wrong.

The minute they arrived back, Harley disappeared into Brad's office. Ten minutes later Tels got summoned. The next twenty minutes were some of the most uncomfortable she had ever had. Harley had blamed the entire thing on her, turning the whole thing on its head. Brad had taken his word for it and wouldn't even let Tels explain.

The upshot was she was now removed from off world duty and assigned to routine supply paperwork. Her position on the base was up for review in two weeks time. She would now be driven to and from the base and woe betide her if she was not ready when the car arrived in the morning.

Driven home from the base she let herself in and throwing herself on the bed sobbed.

Cha'ris hugged her and tried to reassure her that she was not the one at fault.

Tels pushed her aside. She didn't want anyone right now, not even Cha'ris. She just didn't want to be here anymore. Having cried herself out she got up and going into the lounge turned on the computer. She typed quickly then hit print. Shoving it in an envelope she wrote General Hammond on the front of it and set it on the table. Then still shutting Cha'ris out went to the fridge and opened the Bacardi.

<What are you doing?> Cha'ris asked.

Tels ignored her, mixing the whole bottle with a carton of grapefruit juice she had in the fridge.

<Shut up. It's not your life that's just gone out the window is it? Its mine.> She drained the glass and poured another one. She moved to the window and looked out across the darkened streets, resting the glass against her lips. <What am I doing here? There is no point in even being here anymore.>

She drained that glass and poured another. She sighed, her gaze falling on the letter she had written. <They will react to it one of two ways> she thought grimly. <Accept it gladly or refuse it to annoy me. Probably the latter.> She raised the glass to her lips and was about to drain it when it slipped from her hands and smashed on the floor.

“Chyfrgolli a chwythwch ‘i!!!” she swore. She dropped to her knees and began to pick up the pieces of glass. Her vision started to blur slightly and her fingers slipped the glass cutting into her hand. “Chyfrgolli anafa,” she muttered. Now decidedly dizzy she sat there and watched as the blood streamed down onto the floor, watching the pattern it made as it mixed with the spilled drink.

She slumped forwards, everything going black, striking her head on the edge of the table. The vase on the edge teetering before falling and landing on the back of her neck, knocking Cha'ris out as well.

--- --- --- ---- ----

Six hours later, Jacob arrived through the gate. “You wanted to see me?” he said.

Hammond greeted him. “Good morning. Thanks for coming. We weren't expecting you this early though.”

“Your message said urgent so here I am.” His tone was harsher than normal.

Hammond looked at him. “Is everything okay?”

“You tell me. Is Tels here?”

“No, she sleeps off base these days. I wanted to see you about the trouble on the Alpha Site yesterday...”

“That's another reason why I am here now. Selmak and I are not happy about the way Tels and Cha'ris were treated. I also wanted to see her. She was very unhappy yesterday.”

They walked down the corridor towards Hammond 's office. Once there Hammond filled Jacob in and Jacob gave him the other side of the story. Hammond sighed. “She wasn't given a chance to explain. Brad took Harley's side of things.” He slid the report over the desk.

Jacob took the report. “That doesn't surprise me unfortunately.” He read the report. “Assigned to paperwork until further notice; driven to and from the base like a prisoner; I'm surprised he didn't just sling her in the brig. She was sent home after this?”

“Yes, although he actually wants her confined to her quarters on the base. I will see her in the morning as soon as she gets in. Why?”

“Something's wrong. Selmak has had a bad feeling ever since she left the Alpha Site. Do you have her number?”

“Its 0245. She won't thank you for phoning now.”

“Humour me. The number?” Dialling quickly he let it ring several times. “No answer. I have to get over there.”

“I'll get a car sent round.”

Twenty minutes later Jacob and Hammond arrived. There was no answer when they knocked and rang. Jacob tried the door which was unlocked. He looked worriedly at Hammond . Going in he called “Tels!” He turned to Hammond . “Go that way,” he nodded towards the kitchen and bedroom. Moving swiftly he went into the lounge. “Tels!”

Tels moaned softly as she came round. Her head hurt. Her hand hurt. She reached out for Cha'ris but there was no response. “Cha?” she gasped.

Jacob moved swiftly across the room. “Tels!” He gathered her in his arms turning her over gently.

She cried out in pain and tried to focus on him. “Jacob?”

“Its okay hon,” he said, gently brushing the hair out of her eyes and wincing as he saw the cut and bruising on her face. He called Hammond in to where he was. “What happened?” he asked her.

“Dola 'm balf. Anafa,” her words were slurred, partly due to the alcohol and partly due to the blow to the head. “Cut my hand.”

Jacob grabbed a cloth from the side and wrapped it round her still bleeding hand. He wondered why Cha'ris hadn't stopped the bleeding.

Hammond came in and took the situation in at a glance. “We have to get her back to the infirmary,” he said,

“Cha'ris ble ach? Paham enilledig t atebi 'm?” Tels murmured. (Cha'ris where are you? Why won't you answer me?)

Not understanding what she had said but picking up on Cha'ris's name, Jacob immediately put a hand on the back of her neck. He felt a stab of fear from Selmak and looked at Hammond . “Unless you have a healing device a Tok'ra base would be better. Cha'ris is badly hurt.”

Hammond nodded and pulling out his cell phone called ahead.

Jacob picked Tels up and carried her out to the car, sitting her up in the back and strapping her in. He got in the other side as Hammond came back out. “They will have the gate ready for you,” he said. “I will wait here for the clean up crew. Send the car back for me.”

Jacob nodded and the car set off for the base.

Tels was semi conscious again, pain and loss of blood bringing the darkness ever closer. She opened her eyes briefly, trying to get Cha'ris to respond. “Fi m 'n chwith,” she whispered as the darkness overtook her. “Faddau 'm.”

The next time she opened them was a good 48 hours later. She stirred, trying to work out where she was.

Tels closed her eyes focusing inward for a moment. <Cha?>

A woman came over to her. “It's okay,” she said. “You're safe. I'm Tilja, one of the Tok'ra healers. You're on one of the Tok'ra bases.”

“How did I get here?”

“Hey you're awake,” said another voice.

Tels turned. “Jacob,” she smiled.

“Well you're looking better than you were when I found you. What happened hon?” He sat on the bed next to her.

“The last thing I remember is dropping a glass; I bent to pick up the pieces and cut my hand. Then I don't know.”

“You also had concussion and a head injury. Cha was also injured. Was there anyone else in the apartment with you?”

Tels shook her head. “No, just me. Us,” she corrected. “Got back to the base after leaving you on the Alpha site. Got hauled over the coals and yelled at for something I had apparently done wrong and sent home. Got drunk, much to Cha's disgust. Dropped the glass and cut my hand.” She looked at him. “Why?”

“There was a broken vase on the floor and several deep cuts on the back of your neck. It looked like the vase hit your neck which is what injured Cha'ris. You had quite a shiner too. We fixed that and the cut on your hand and sorted Cha out too. Then she dealt with your concussion. You were lucky. Had General Hammond and I not found you when we did, you would be dead right now.”

She looked at him. “ Hammond ?” she said.

“He was with me when we found you. He wants to see you.”

Her face fell and she looked away. She remembered the letter she had put on the coffee table. “Oh.” She caught sight of another man standing in the doorway. “Hello,” she said.

Jacob followed her gaze. “This is Malek, commander of the base here. Malek this is Tels, Cha'ris's new host.”

Malek came across. “Hello” he replied. “It is good to see you awake at last. You had us worried.”

“How long was I out for?” she asked.

“Two days,” Malek told her, “And it's a thirty six hour day here.”

Tels let Cha'ris come fore and she smiled at him. “It is good to see you too my friend.”

Malek broke into one of his rare smiles and pulled her into a hug. “It has been too long Cha'ris,” he said. “I thought I had lost you.”

“And I thought I had lost everyone.” She hugged him back warmly. “It is not an experience I wish to repeat. Is Ka'nire here?

“No. He and Steph are assigned elsewhere right now.” Malek pulled back slightly.

“Steph?”

“Jael was killed last year. Steph is his new host.”

Cha'ris looked at him. “But what happened to Corgan?”

“Corgan died while you were with Thanatos hon,” Jacob said gently.

Cha'ris looked down. “I have missed much it seems. How is he doing?”

“Okay. He was devastated when news of your death came.” Jacob broke off, flooded with feelings from Selmak.

“As were we all,” Malek finished, laying a hand on Jacob's shoulder.

Cha'ris looked at them. “Seems we have all had new hosts while I was away,” she said quietly.

Malek nodded. “General Hammond has arrived to speak with Tels.”

Cha'ris nodded and retreated, leaving Tels in control. She looked down at her hands. “Did he find the letter?” she asked.

Jacob nodded. “Yes. That's another reason….” He broke off and looked hard at her. “Did you take anything with the alcohol hon?”

Tels shook her head. “No. I was tempted, believe me, but I didn't. Why?”

“Just wanted to make sure – some of the readings Tilja did weren't right that's all.”

“I'd taken several ibuprofen for a headache earlier in the day but nothing else. And I skipped lunch and dinner too which probably didn't help.”

Jacob shook his head. “You should know better Tels,” he said firmly. “It's not just you now.”

Tels sighed. “Why do you think I did it in the first place?”

“Are you regretting the blending?” Malek asked her bluntly.

She shook her head. “No. It wasn't the ideal one but it was my choice to re-blend. It's everything else that comes with it.”

“Oh?” Malek said looking at Jacob.

“I have lost the trust and friendship of everyone I know,” Tels said quietly, not noticing Jacob beckon Hammond across to listen as well. “They won't talk to me, eat with me. Harley and Jack being a case in point. You know Jack actually broke off the friendship by e-mail. Requested a transfer without telling me – I found a memo on my desk from his new CO.” She broke off. “The other day on the Alpha Site was the last straw. I did nothing wrong. Harley decided to let his hatred for what I have become get in the way. He pulled rank on me, changed our orders to suit himself.”

She paused again. “But what really hurt was when he called Cha a Goa'uld. She isn't. She never was, just playing a part. But we know that there will always be people who won't believe her. Both my people and hers. This is why I can't stay there anymore. I need a clean start someplace else.”

“Not everyone thinks that Tels,” Hammond broke in. “I don't.”

She jumped not having noticed him standing there. “Maybe you are the only one then Sir. Brad certainly does. He told me one thing and then…” she broke off, not willing to tell tales on a superior officer no matter what the provocation.

“Tels?” Jacob said gently.

She shook her head. “Doesn't matter.” She looked at Hammond . “I meant what I said in the letter. I either need to transfer or resign. I would prefer to stay in the Air Force, but I know that's not possible.”

Hammond looked at her. “It isn't I'm afraid. Given your current status….”

“Traitor,” Tels muttered quietly. “Host of the enemy.”

“No you're not,” Selmak said. “You are the host of my daughter. You are no more the enemy than she is and you are not a traitor.”

“You are both welcome here,” Malek told her, “Should you wish it that is.”

Tels smiled at him. “Thank you.”

Jacob took control back from Selmak and then looked at Hammond . “There is a possible compromise. I have a contact I could speak to and then put in touch with you if you wish.”

Hammond nodded then turned to Tels. “Unfortunately things have happened since you were taken ill,” he said phrasing it delicately. “Brad has requested you be removed from under his command as a result of your actions on the Alpha Site.”

Tels looked aghast at him. <But I did nothing wrong!> she cried to Cha'ris.

Cha'ris hugged her tightly.

Hammond looked at her. “As of now you are assigned to my office. Your rank will stand, but you will not have anyone under your command.”

Tels's face fell. “Okay,” she said quietly. She pushed her feelings down, Cha'ris doing her best to dampen them.

“I'm sorry,” he said, “But unless you tell me otherwise, everyone's story back's up Harley's.”

Tels shrugged. <No point> she told Cha'ris. <Is there? Why take my word over everyone else's?> “No Sir. Nothing to add.”

“Take a few days, think things over and come and see. Things may settle down in time.”

Tels spent another day at the Tok'ra base then returned to the SGC. She hated her new job, nothing more than a glorified secretary, she pushed paper across a desk all day long. Nothing had changed and by the evening of the second day she went into see Hammond just before she left for the evening.

Facing Hammond and telling him was one of the more difficult things she had ever done. He sat in silence and as she made her request she could see the bitter disappointment in his eyes.

“I don't want to lose you,” he said quietly.

“I know that Sir. But they don't trust me and without trust the team doesn't function. I would rather a transfer but if that's not possible then I will resign.”

Hammond reluctantly agreed. “I will talk to Jacob's contact and get back to you. Until then consider yourself on leave.”

“Yes Sir. May I spend it on the Tok'ra base? Cha'ris's brother is going to be there for a day or so. They haven't seen each other for over 200 years.”

Hammond nodded. “Two days no more. Then I want you back on Earth. Either in your quarters here or at your apartment. Dismissed.”

“Yes Sir.” Leaving the room Tels went back to her office and shut the door. She sat at her desk, burying her head in her hands.

Cha'ris reached out and hugged her gently, knowing there were no words she could say to make it any easier. They were alone and that is the way it would stay no matter where they went.

After a few minutes Tels got up and grabbed the bag she always kept in the cupboard and having changed out of her uniform headed to the gateroom.

Malek was waiting for her by the other side. “Welcome back,” he said.

“Thanks,” Tels said, feeling a little out of place. She had never done anything like this alone before. And she hated meeting new people. Even though she kind of knew them through Cha'ris she didn't.

“The rings are this way.” Malek set off down the path. “How have the past two days gone?”

“A nightmare,” Tels said slowly. “I just don't want to be there now. I asked again for the transfer. But I don't know that anything will come of it.”

“I meant what I said, you will be most welcome to join us here,” Malek said as the rings took them to the underground tunnels.

Tels didn't think she would ever get used to that.

“Thank you,” Tels told Malek.

“You're welcome. Ka'nire arrived an hour ago. He is looking forward to meeting you.”

“Oh, I thought the host was female.” She said trying to keep up with his long strides as she followed him.

“Steph is but Ka'nire is not.”

“Like Jacob and Selmak then?”

“Yes.” Malek paused outside a chamber. “This room has been set aside for your use while you are here.”

Tels went into the small room. It contained a bed and a dresser with a couple of drawers, with a sink in one corner. She looked at Malek. “No door?” she asked.

“We have no need for doors,” he told her.

“Oh,” she said quietly, wondering how she was gonna cope with no doors or privacy. She put her bag on the bed.

Malek led the way back down the tunnel. “The bathing pools are down there and the eating commons that way.” He smiled at her. “If you get lost shout, someone will help you find where you want to go.”

“Thank you.” Tels walked with him down several tunnels, a heavy sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, until they came to a small chamber.

“He's in here,” Malek said. “I'll see you later.”

Tels nodded. “Thank you,” she said. She felt ridiculously nervous as she went through the door and over to the figure standing there. She gratefully retreated and let Cha'ris fore.

Steph pulled the dusty brown cloak she had been wearing around her tight unsure of the visitor they had. Closing her eyes she let Ka'nire fore. <I'll be here.> She told him.

Ka'nire gave a mental nod and looked up letting go of the cloak and looked at the person before him. He recognized the eyes immediately and let the tears of joy that sprang to his own eyes fall. "Cha?" He said softly unsure if his eyes were deceiving him or not. Two hundred plus years of his sister being gone and now she was standing here in front of him

Cha'ris recognised the eyes instantly. Immediately she was flooded by emotions. She had never thought she would see him again. “Ni,” she said, holding out a hand and stepping towards him.

Ka'nire grabbed her hand holding it firmly making sure what he saw was real. "Yes sis... It's me." He shook his head slightly still amazed that someone he thought had been dead was standing there with him. "I don't believe it.”

Tears filled Cha'ris's eyes and rolled slowly down her face. For over two hundred years she had thought herself alone, counted everyone lost and now here he was in front of her. She pulled him towards her. “I missed you bro,” she said.

Holding her tight Ka'nire felt the tears slide down his cheeks. "I missed you too sis.... oh did I miss you, more than you know."

Cha'ris clung to him, still not quite believing this was really happening. It had been the thought of one day seeing him again that had kept her going while with Thanatos and now he was here. “I'm sorry,” she sobbed.

He laid a hand gently on her head stroking down her hosts hair. "What for?" He asked her gently.

“Making you go through that. Not getting word to you or the others that I was alive.” She looked at him, finding it strange seeing him hosted by a woman.

Slowly he raised his hand rubbing her cheek. “You're here now though."

She placed a hand on his face, wiping away his tears, the other keeping tight hold of him. “Something I never thought would happen.”

"I gave up ever seeing you again.... I shouldn't have."

She took a deep shuddering breath. “I half hoped no one would believe the story. Hoped for rescue for the first ten, twenty years. Then gave up hope. Resigned myself to the life I had taken on. Fighting him every step of the way, trying to get him to do things differently.”

"But you fought him."

Cha'ris closed her eyes, memories flooding her mind. She pushed her face into Ka'nire's shoulder trying to blot them out. “I fought,” she whispered, maybe if she hadn't Regelia would still be alive.

"Yes... and now you're safe."

Tels hugged Cha'ris tightly trying to help comfort her. She was overwhelmed with the depth of feelings that Cha'ris had for him. Although she was still trying to get her head round the fact that he was a she or was he/she?

“Until he finds me and takes me back. I don't want to go back.”

"You don't have to... I'm here."

She clung to him, still expecting this to be a dream, as she had so often dreamt of seeing him again.

He held her tight not letting go till she was ready.

After a while she looked up at him. “How have you been Ni?”

"I've gotten by." He told her.

“I am sorry about Corgan,” Cha'ris said softly, guiding Ka'nire to the chairs by the table. “What happened?”

"Aries got to him." Ka'nire responded. "Nothing I could do."

Cha'ris closed her eyes. She knew Aries from Thanatos's dealings with him. Little more than a thug, he was so desperate to be a System Lord he would stop at nothing to become one by any means necessary. “Oh Ni. I'm sorry.” Sorry seemed inadequate though somehow.

"It's not your fault." He responded.

“I know. I know how much you must miss him.”

Ka'nire nodded. "Him and Othin and Jael." He said softly.

Cha'ris looked at him. “Three hosts?” she said. “Jacob only mentioned two – Jael and Steph. What happened?” There was so much missing that she wanted, needed to know, she was probably pushing Ka'nire too far too fast.

"I failed them... but that doesn't matter right now." He responded putting up a strong front. His sister was back.

Cha'ris sat silently for a minute. She had failed many over the years, her hosts among them. Regelia she had constantly failed. “Okay. Where… where are you based now?”

"Detached to the SGC. Working with the Tok'ra when they need it, which is most of the time."

“It was SGC personnel who rescued me. My host is… was part of SG5.”

Ka'nire looked at her. "Really?"

Cha'ris nodded. “Commander Tels Jameson is her name. Although if we get what we want, we won't be for much longer.”

"Leaving the Air Force and joining the Tok'ra full time?"

Cha'ris sighed. “We have requested a transfer as Tels wishes to remain in the Air Force, but Malek has offered us a place here if it doesn't work out. Things have been… difficult since the blending.”

"I know what you mean. Part of the reason we are with the Tok'ra as much as we are."

“I bet they don't see you as a Goa'uld though,” she whispered.

"No... I don't suppose."

“Maybe part of me will never stop being her,” Cha'ris sighed. “Maybe they are right after all.”

"They are not right." He told her firmly.

She looked up at him. “Aren't they? I spent over 200 years being her Ni. Being Erida - Thanatos's wife. Doing what he wanted, serving him when and how he wanted….” She broke off, not wanting to list the other things she had done in his name.

"You still fought him."

“Yes I did. The price was too high - it cost Regelia….” she stopped short.

"As have we all."

“I guess.” She knew if she had not fought quite as much Regelia would never have been killed. She changed the subject, not wanting Tels to see the memories of Regelia's death. “I used to imagine sitting with you, talking about anything, nothing even. What we had done, things we would do if ever I was free and found you. I can't believe I am here.”

"You are here... And I love you just as much as the day I was told you...." He broke off having had shared these same memories with Steph only once before.

“I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like,” Cha'ris said softly. “I mourned Esther for a long time. But that is nothing compared to what you went through. I'm sorry.”

"Its ok sis. You're here now." he responded pulling her into another hug.

She clung to him, sobbing as she gave way to the pent up emotions of 200 years, the fear, terror, anger, grief and relief all pouring from her at once.

"I love you sis."

“I love you too Ni. I missed you so much.”

"And I missed you." He whispered.

She looked up at him, not seeing the host, just seeing her brother as he had always been. “I don't ever want to lose you again.”

"You won't... I'll always be here for you."

“And I you my brother.”

He nodded squeezing her again for comfort.

Cha'ris settled into his arms. This was what she had missed the most. Him not being there for her. She wondered why Tels had retreated completely; she didn't want her to feel excluded.

"So tell me... What is your host like?"

“She's nice. She's telepathic – which is a first for me. Has a fantastic memory. She found the blending hard but has adjusted now. She also has a weird sense of humour – manages to find humour everywhere. She does have one down side but we have time to work on that. What about your host?”

"Steph is... well she's quite a character. Independent and means well."

“Tels is shy of new people – she has totally retreated on me now.”

"You seem to get lots like that at first."

Cha'ris smiled at the thought. “Yeah, all of them in fact. Although I can understand it in a way this time – Tels own people have turned their backs on her because of me. Why should anyone else not do the same?”

"I would not turn my back on you... or your host."

“Or us either of you. Tels is the most loyal host I have had. Once she decides to do something she sticks at it no matter what the cost.”

"That is good to know."

Cha'ris looked at him. “You could almost call it a flaw if you like. Her priorities and needs come very low on her list. Does Steph have any family?”

Ka'nire nodded. "She does. Though she doesn't speak of them much."

“Tels has none. She won't say anymore than that and I don't want to push the subject. She has more than enough to contend with as it is right now.” She paused. “How long are you here for?”

"Only a day or so. Came back to re-supply and restock. Working with the inhabitants of a planet under Ba'al's control. Trying to secure a few new potential hosts."

“Sounds dangerous but I would rather that than what we have. We were given two days. Then back to the SGC and confined to quarters or the apartment until they decide what to do with us.”

"I'm sorry sis. Is there anything I can do?"

Cha'ris shook her head. “Thank you but I don't think there is. Selmak and Malek have vouched for me and they still are not convinced. So long as you believe me when I say who I am and that you still love me despite the pain I caused you, then that will be enough.”

Ka'nire looked at her and pulled her into a tight hug. "I will always love you little sis. And yes, I do believe you."

Cha'ris hugged him back. “Thank you. I love you.” She paused as Tels made a request. <You sure hon?> then looking at Ka'nire said, “Tels feels uncomfortable about this. She'd like to meet your host.”

Ka'nire pulled back slightly and nodded. "Of course."

Cha'ris smiled at him and sat back in her chair, relinquishing control to Tels. She sat there wondering if she looked as uncomfortable as she felt.

Ka'nire pulled back allowing Steph to come to the fore. She smiled softly as she looked at Tels. Finally she extended her hand. "Hi. I'm Stephanie."

Tels looked at her and took her hand shaking it. “Tels,” she replied. “How are you?”

"Good." Steph responded. "Nice to be home and relax for a bit. You?"

“Been better. Finding all this a bit weird to be honest.”

"It does take some getting use to. How long have you been blended?"

“Just under a month.”

Steph nodded. "It takes time. If you need any help or someone to talk to. I know we only just met but I would be happy to try and help."

“Thank you. Cha says you are with the SGC. Which section?”

"Detached." Steph explained. "Ambassador mainly between Tok'ra and SGC. Though I do work with Search and Rescue quite a bit."

“I'm with ….was with SG5. Part of the team that rescued Cha'ris. Although I don't think I will be there much longer.”

"Well you will always be welcome among the Tok'ra."

“That's what Malek said. But to be honest I don't feel at home here anymore than I do at home.”

"It just takes time. We all feel out of place in the beginning. Still do from time to time."

“I guess.” Tels shivered. “Don't remember it being as cold last time.”

"Cha can help regulate that." Steph told her gently.

Tels looked at her. “Can she? I guess I have a lot to learn – kinda got thrown in at the deep end.”

"Most do." Steph responded.

<Not like this> she thought. She looked at Steph. She seemed so confident, so at ease with the fact she had another being living inside her and she wondered if she would ever feel that way. “How long have you…..known Ka'nire?” she asked, not liking the word blended.

"We joined in October of last year." Steph told her.

“Did you find it hard at first?”

"Yeah, took some time. People thought of me as different. But we survived."

“It's hard. Not being trusted anymore. No one believes Cha is who she says she is.”

"Ni does." Steph told her. <And so do I.>

“Thank you. It means a lot to her. Us.” She sighed. ”Does it get easier?”

Steph nodded. "Yes. The Tok'ra are usually a very friendly group to their own."

“The ones I have met so far are, but they are either related to Cha or her friends. The doc, oh what was her name Til something was quite nice the other day.”

"Yeah, Tilja is very nice. Don't be put off by the fact that Cha knows these people and you don't. They are all here to help."

Tels smiled at her. “That's good to know. I think I might need it. I don't have the faintest idea what I am meant to be doing.”

"Right now you just relax. In time that will all come." Steph told her smiling.

“Time. That's what Jacob and Hammond said people needed. Just made things worse.” Tels looked away. “Sorry, you don't need to listen to my problems.”

"I told you I'd listen and help if wanted." Steph said gently.

“Can you get my friends to accept me?” Tels asked. “Sorry,” she pinched the bridge of her nose. “That was just rude.”

Steph looked at her. "It's ok. Things seem difficult right now I know. Just stick it through."

“There's nothing to stick to. My CO wants me out of the unit; I'm virtually under house arrest. I don't belong anywhere now. It's just all too much.” Her instinct was too flee but she had no where to go.

"The Tok'ra are always an option. As others might intervene as well."

“It's possible I guess.” Tels just couldn't shake the feeling that she didn't belong. These were Cha's people not hers.

"Are you two going to be working undercover for the Tok'ra at all?"

“Nothing has been said yet,” Tels said her eyes widening as she felt something from Cha'ris. “Whoa, what was that?”

Steph looked at her concerned. "What was what?"

“I just got this weird feeling, not mine. It was terror – almost blind panic.”

"It is possible to have feelings from our symbiotes. Is Cha ok?"

Tels looked at her and tried to reach Cha'ris. <Cha? Are you okay?> “She's not answering.”

Steph looked at her. "We'll maybe in time she'll be more up to it."

“Maybe. She hasn't said much about what happened. I just get the odd flash or something. She was frightened of him I know that much.”

"Who?"

“Thanatos – her ‘husband' I guess is the right word.”

"Ah... We'll that's understandable."

“I'm not to keen on him myself – he put me out of action for 3 months the first time we met. This was my first return to active duty.”

"I'm sorry to hear that...." Steph broke off when Jacob came in and moved over to her, whispering something to her. She nodded and looked at Tels. "I've got to get going,” she said sadly. She'd have liked to get to know Tels a bit more.

“Okay. It was nice to have met you.” Tels felt a cry from Cha'ris and again a jolt of emotion that wasn't hers.

Steph smiled back. "Nice to have met you. Maybe someday we can get together for some tea?"

“That would be good. Cha wants to keep in touch with Ka'nire anyway.”

Steph's smile broadened part of it Ka'nire coming through her. "Ka'nire wants that as well."

Tels stood as Steph did and held out her hand. “Til next time then,” she said smiling.

Steph took her hand. "Till next time. It's been a pleasure Tels."

“Likewise Stephanie. Ka'nire,” she added not wanting to leave him out.

Steph's eyes flashed, Ka'nire taking control again. "And you my sister." He said gently. "Will talk to you soon, both of you."

<Sure>

Cha'ris came fore and pulled Ka'nire into a hug. “Let's not leave it 200 years next time brother.”

Ka'nire held her tight. "I don't plan on it. Just stay safe till then."

“I will. You too – take care out there. I don't want to lose you having just got you back. I love you.” She clung to him, not wanting him to go so soon.

"I love you." He whispered. He held her tight not wanting to go but knowing he had to. After a few moments he pulled off slightly. "I have to go hon. You know that."

Cha'ris let go of him. “Yeah. You take care. Bye Ni.”

"Bye Cha. Talk to you soon." He said and turned slowly starting to walk out of the room fighting the tears and emotions within. For once couldn't the damn Tok'ra just let him be for just a little while?

Cha'ris sat back in the chair and wrapped her arms round herself. She had been alone for over 200 years and they couldn't give her more than an hour with him.

Jacob looked at her. “I'm sorry hon. They need him back – things have gone pear shaped and he has to go and try straighten them out… There w