Title : How to drive your host insane
Rating: G
Prompt : #13 – yellow
Reason : ummm 7 hours of a certain yellow cartoon character will do this to any sane person
Characters : Selmak
Summary : Selmak sings Spongebob
Word Count: 471
*Strange floating things and quaint music… then zoom into a huge underground crystal cavern.*
OHHHHHHH
Who lives in a tunnel far under the ground?
Jake and Selmak!
Dressed in brown tripe and handsome are they!
Jake and Selmak!
He keeps getting hurt and she fixes him up,
Jake and Selmak!
But she loves him dearly whatever he does
Jake and Selmak, Jake and Selmak, Jake and Selmak! Jake and Selmaaaaaakkkk!!!
--- --- --- --- --
(Oma)
What's wrong with Selmak?
(Other Ascended Person)
Maybe it's just a symbiote thing,
(Selmak)
Wish I was back with the Tok'ra,
Ascension's no place for a symbiote,
Wish I was back with the Tok'ra,
The best place in the universe to be
I guess deep in my heart I'll always be a Tok'ra girl
I wanna go hommmme hooommmmmme hommme oh oh
Yoldle ay e oh, yodle ay e oh, yodle ay e oh, a lay-ee, a lay-ee.
I wanna wake up back in my chamber
I miss those crystal blue walls.
I missing teasing Delek, and dinner with Malek
And running away from Anise. Oh why
When I'm so far from the Tok'ra, all I can do-o is cry.
--- --- --- ---
Selmak:
F is for Furlings, those cute little critters.
U is for you ain't seen them.
N is for Nirrti and her new breed of humans.
You find them through the Stargate
Delek:
T is for transphase eradication rod
N is for naquadria bomb
K is for Kull disruptor we invented
You find them through the Stargate
Selmak:
G is for Goa'uld, they are the bad guys
O is for Ori
W is for Wraith, they're both pretty nasty
You find them through the Stargate
S is for SG1 and all the others
J is for the Jaffa
Course in England those are pretty yummy
Made of sponge and chocolate.
Malek:
Selmak! Those things aren't what Stargate is all about!
Now, do it like this,
T is for Tok'ra who do stuff together
Delek:
Never! That's completely idiotic!
Selmak:
Oh yes they do… well most of us do
T is also for Tollan and the touched on the dark side
C is for Cake - only for you!
D is for dead as they all die quite often
When they go through the Stargate
Delek:
Wait...I don't understand ...I feel all tingly inside... Should we stop?
Selmak:
No! That's how you're supposed to feel!
Delek:
Well I like it! Let's do it again!
Selmak:
Okay!
Selmak and Delek:
E is for everything else they have encountered.
N is for Na'onak.
D is for death glider they shouldn't have retrofitted.
When they go through the Stargate.
*Jacob suddenly wakes and takes control, locking Selmak firmly in a sound proofed padded cell in his mind so he can no longer hear her sing.*
Fin
© Tels July 2006.