Disclaimers: Don't own them, wish I did.
Summary: I was bored, need I say more. There maybe more, depends how bored I get.
Songs by Selmak and Jacob
written by Tels
1. Tune - I'm a little teapot
I'm a little Tok'ra short but thin
Here's my tail and here's my fin
When you see my eyes glow do look out
Cos I'm inclined to scream and shout.
I'm a Tok'ra operative, not a snake
Don't say that in front of Jake
Nor am I a Goa'uld you see
I'm a good guy living free.
I am Selmak, old and wise
Intelligent despite my size
Size is not important, not at all
I go to cons and have a ball.
I'm on the Tok'ra council without a doubt
If Delek doesn't trust me, that's his lookout
When he insults my host, hear me shout
Hey weasel CUT IT OUT!!
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2. Tune - The court of King Caractucus
The Tok'ra Jake and Selmak is just passing by (repeated 4 times)
The heels of Tok'ra Jake and Selmak is just passing by (repeated 4 times)
Anise who follows closely on the heels of the Tok'ra Jake and Selmak is just passing by (repeated 4 times)
The man who does the hair of Anise who follows closely on the heels of the Tok'ra Jake and Selmak is just passing by (repeated 4 times)
The boys who tidy up after the man who does the hair of Anise who follows closely on the heels of the Tok'ra Jake and Selmak is just passing by (repeated 4 times)
The wicked evil Goa'uld whose sole aim in life is to possess the bodies of the boys who tidy up after the man who does the hair of Anise who follows closely on the heels of the Tok'ra Jake and Selmak is just passing by (repeated 4 times)
Now if you want to take some pictures of the wicked evil Goa'uld whose sole aim in life is to possess the bodies of the boys who tidy up after the man who does the hair of Anise who follows closely on the heels of the Tok'ra Jake and Selmak, then you’re TOO LATE because they just passed by!
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3. Tune - The railroad runs through the middle of the house
Selmak lives in the middle of my head
Selmak lives in the middle of my head
Her thoughts all come through the middle of my head
Since Selmak blended with me.
She lets me think in the front of my head
She lets me think in the back
But there ain't no thinking in the middle of my head
'Cause otherwise I get a thwap.
When a Goa’uld or Jaffa come to the base
He knocks and bangs on the door
So we sit him right down with the middle of my head
And he never comes back no more
No, he never comes back no more.
Selmak lives in the middle of my head
Her thoughts come through the middle of my head
They come and go through the middle of my head
And her thoughts are all on time
And here comes the 5:09.
Selmak lives in the middle of my head
Her thoughts just fill the middle of my head
Right smack dab through the middle of my head
Where my humour used to be.
There's a great big thought in the front of my head
There's a little old thought in the back
But we can't have thoughts in the middle of my head
'Cause that's how I get thwapped.
Delek came to visit one day
He liked to scream and fuss
So we used a zat just once or twice
And he never more bothered us
No, he never more bothered us.
Oh, Selmak lives in the middle of my head
Her thoughts all come through the middle of my head
I daren’t think the middle of my head
Since she will then thwap me.
I'm singing this song in the middle of my head.