Title : There's no place like home.
Author : Tels
Fandom : Stargate SG1
Characters : Jacob/Martouf
Rating : PG13
Word count : 668
Prompt : #90 - Home
Summary : Inner thoughts of Jacob shortly after he's blended with Selmak.

There's no place like home
By Tels

Jacob came through the gate with Martouf. He'd just finished his first mission for the Tok'ra. He assumed the normal debrief would happen first and followed Martouf to Malek's office. One standard debrief later, well considering he had to give the report twice as Malek had wanted Selmak's take on it as well, he then headed back towards the room he had been assigned.

He undid his jacket and threw it over what passed for a chair then he stretched out on the bed. Or the lump of crystal that passed for a bed. He reflected how different this homecoming was to what he was used to. The one difference between his life as a battle ready soldier and this life as a Tok'ra.

As a soldier he had always had a home to come back to. His house with Alison, pictures on the wall, flowers in the garden. But more importantly there was always someone there. His wife or his kids. Sometimes a lover. Sometimes just a friend, but the point was there was someone there, something that made it home, and worth coming back to. Even if there was no one there, it was still home. Familiar surroundings, his things. Bases and houses change but each one was home.

Things changed and here he now was. He glanced round the room. But this… this wasn't his home. It was his current assignment. Tok'ra do not have a home they had told him. They have a room in a base. They live on the run, moving from base to base, no personal possessions. But it wasn't so much that that bothered him this time. There was no one waiting for him. No one he'd consider a friend. No one close enough to go for a drink or a run or just to talk to.

He suddenly realised how very far from home he was.

<Do I not count?> a quiet voice asked.

<Selmak?> he replied.

<I know we have not been together long and I do not wish to intrude upon your private thoughts… but you seem so down Jacob.>

Jacob paused. <I guess I am … a little. It's just so different.>

<Different how? Or just not what you expected?>

<I don't know… maybe I'm just lonely.>

Selmak reached out and gave him the symbiote version of a hug. <I am sorry you feel this way. All my hosts have felt like this… it is a natural period of adjustment. I know it is hard. I feel it too.>

Jacob reached out and hugged her back, pleased when he managed it. <How?> he asked her.

<Don't take it the wrong way but in a way I miss Saroosh still, her comments and her way of doing things.> Selmak paused. <What possessions she had were lost when we had to abandon the base. You are right when you say that this is not home.>

Jacob sat up slightly. <I wasn't criticising> he said hurriedly not wanting to offend her.

<I know But you are never alone here Jacob, just remember that. Anytime you want to talk or need a friend I am here.>

<I will.> He looked round the room. <Perhaps we could make this place ours.>

Selmak nodded. <What did you have in mind?>

<Pictures, a few books, just little things so no matter which base we are on it feels like home.>

<That sounds good.>

A voice at the door made Jacob look up, jerked out of his thoughts. “Martouf… what can I do for you?”

Martouf smiled. “I hope you do not think this an imposition but a group of us are going to the eating commons. It is custom to eat together at the end of a successful mission. We would like very much for you to join us.”

Jacob got up. “We have a similar custom on Earth. I would very much like to join you.” He followed Martouf from the room. Maybe one day this place would be home after all.

Fin

© Tels August 2006.