Title: The Point of No Return
Author: Tels
Fandom : Stargate SG1
Characters : Delek
Rating : PG13
Word count : 1,270
Prompt : #52 - Fire
Summary : see title.
Notes : Inspired by the song of the same name.
Delek sat in the council meeting trying to work out why he was still here. He had played this game for long enough now and it was time to bring it to a conclusion. To leave and not look back, never to return. He could no longer pretend to be someone he that he was not. No more ifs or buts or maybes, those thoughts were now pointless, null and void. He could resist the power of his innermost being no longer. It was time to admit who he was and to act on it.
He had known from the beginning, well almost that he was different from the rest of them. It was just little things at first but then that was how most things began. Small insignificant thoughts and actions that just grew exponentially until you could deny them no longer. Now he could give into the raging fire within him. Allow himself to be seduced by the desires and longings that filled the very essence of him.
Of course he had never had a childhood as such, although his host had. Weak affected creature that he was, he had offered no resistance to Delek. He allowed himself to be subdued and controlled and used as Delek saw fit. He had total domination over the host, the way it should be. There were no secrets, his host was an open book, a piece of clay Delek had moulded into his own likeness, tempting him with unbridled passions he had never considered within his grasp. He assumed his host had a name, but he had never asked. It was simply not important.
Sebastian his name was. Or had been a very long time ago. He had lost count of how many years it had been since Delek had taken him as a host. That fateful day he had been walking by the river, something he did a lot. Trying to find the words to tell her how much he loved her and wanted to be with her forever. Sometimes if he tried he could see her again in his memory and cried silent tears over her death and the fact he would never hold her in his arms again. He missed her so much. Missed so much about his past life.
They had found someone sat by the river, a man in brown leather, bloodied and beaten. He was barely alive and they had stopped to help him. He had pulled a strange gun out and shot her, killed the woman he loved. Sebastian had looked at him, amazed that for helping he should receive such a reward. Then the man in brown had grabbed him and pulled him down on the ground and kissed him. He'd barely had time to panic before something filled his mouth, his throat and he choked.
Then everything changed. He had fought at first but his words had fallen on deaf ears and finally run dry. He had stopped talking, lapsing into a deep unending silence, Somehow he had come to accept his existence, trapped in a tiny part of his mind in what was once his body. The solitude was bearable, he had his memories and on a good day there was no pain.
He had even got used to the pain inflicted on him for thinking too much. It proved to him that he was still alive. Delek was insatiable in his appetites but even with other women there was nothing for him. Nothing to wake the spark within him and fan it into a fire. That had ended the day she had died. He watched like an observer as his body moved and acted, loved and hated, consumed and devoured. Defenceless and silent he was within himself. Lost, defeated.
He had been given no choices, no second chance. No time to think or decide for himself. Part of him was envious over the others who were given that chance and the chance to be free, to be themselves. But he just had this, this quietness, loneliness, a never ending torment. Some may say it was hell. To him it was simply the point of no return. There was no going back, this was all there ever would be.
Delek smirked as he picked up on his host's thoughts, just before he punished him for them. He enjoyed hearing him cry out in pain as he reminded him of his place. But the thought echoed in his own mind. The point of no return. Yes he had reached it. There was no going back, only forwards onto greater things. Some place he would not be confined to the trappings of this irritating existence. Of bowing and scraping and fruitless missions and alliances.
He needed more. The passion within him needed more. There no longer was right or wrong, those thoughts like so many others the council asked were pointless. The only question that mattered was how much longer he should put up with this until he could at last become who he was destined to be. His blood began to race at the mere thought of escaping the chains of this life and becoming more.
The fire within him burned, wanting to be released and consume him and all around him. Fire… that would be a fitting end for those who had made his existence hell. He made the plans for the final reckoning almost effortlessly. They would all burn and he would be free.
Sebastian wept as Delek plotted. He didn't know these people but he didn't want them to die. It was wrong. He didn't want this, didn't want to be any part of this. It was his body laying the trap, planting the incendiary devices and the flammable liquids, but it wasn't him. Why wouldn't someone help him here? He didn't want to be part of this? Something within him broke and anger filled him. Anger he hadn't felt for many years. All those years of resentment filled him and boiled over, forcing itself to the surface.
Delek was ready. The end had finally come. The point of no return had been breached and crossed. He had crossed the final bridge and now it was time to stand and watch it burn and those weak beings that called themselves the resistance along with it. He hit the trigger and made his way towards the exit, the first explosions shattering the crystal walls behind him.
Sebastian made the final effort as the explosions began. For the first time in over two centauries he found himself in control of his own body. He heard Delek cry out as he pushed him back into the dark recesses of his mind. He made his way to the centre of the base. He would let the flames consume him; he would die as he wanted the others to die. This would end now.
He sat and watched the wall of flame advance towards him. He smiled slightly, hearing Delek scream and rant and try to take control. He wouldn't let him. He had learnt well the past years, how to dominate, destroy and control. It was his turn now. The flames got closer and reached out to him. He took one last deep breath and embraced them, allowing the flames to consume him, to defeat him and he fell, silent and lost but at last content. Content to let the end come, to move past the point of no return knowing that the creature within him would die too. That there was no going back for either of them. Only forwards into oblivion.
Fin
© Tels Sept 2006.