That's another fine mess

That's another fine mess you got us into….

By Clare

Plot Bunny - What if Jacob and Jack switched bodies? Selmak does not switch with Jacob; she stays put to annoy Jack. Suggested by Lauren on the CA yahoo group.

Jack woke with a splitting headache. He knew straight off something was wrong as the face peering over him was not one of the base docs all of which he knew well, it was some Tok'ra medic. And he wasn't on the base either; at least not the SGC or Alpha Site one. He was lying on what the Tok'ra laughingly called a bed, more like a lump of rock if you asked him. Which incidentally they hadn't. And the walls weren't grey they were blue, crystal blue. He groaned and raised a hand to his head.

The face moved and obviously said something but he couldn't make out what it was. The words seemed slowed down and slurred somehow. He shook his head and wished he hadn't. Then he ran his hand over his head again. Where had his hair gone?? Okay so what hair he had was grey but this morning when he looked in the mirror as he was shaving, he had a full head of hair. Now there was none. And he was very attached to his hair. He still had nightmares about Teal'c wanting to cut if off that time they swapped bodies.

There was another voice now, a woman. He turned his head to look at her. Sam, he thought. Boy he must be sick. She looked so worried. Again he couldn't make out what she was saying and he couldn't lip read but he could have sworn she just called him Dad. He wasn't that old. He would have to have words with her later. There, she said it again. Was definitely Dad.

He shook his head, which only made the headache worse. But what happened next was more frightening than anything he had ever gone through, well apart from the blending with Kanan that is. A voice in his head, clear as a bell. <Keep still or I can't cure this headache.>

Jack sat bolt upright, his breath coming in gasps. “Not again!” he screamed aloud and in his thoughts. “Please no not again.”

<Lie down and don't be so difficult> the voice scolded. <I heal you every time we go on a mission. You are the most accident prone host I have ever had or known. Now be a good boy and lie down before Tilja sedates you.>

Jack found himself pushed back down on the bed and restrained by two Tok'ra. He fought as hard as he could. He didn't want to be blended, they knew that. A huge needle caught his eye and he shouted and struggled even more. The last thing he saw being Sam and hearing her call him “Dad” and the voice in his head telling him it was his own fault and he should listen to her next time.

Sam sighed as the figure on the bed collapsed and lay still. She put a hand on his arm. “Dad,” she whispered. The medic looked at her. “He should be fine when he wakes again. There are still some neural aberrations as there are with General O'Neill.”

Sam turned to look at the other figure. “How is he doing?”

“We have set his broken leg and once we are happy with him will transfer him back to the SGC.”

The figure on the other bed moved and groaned and Sam went over to him. She smiled down as he opened his eyes. “Hey Sir, how are you feeling?”

Jacob looked at her. Her words were muffled and his head felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool having been first hit by a ten ton truck. He tried to move but found his leg was encased in something.

“Take it easy,” Sam said, putting a hand on his arm. “Your leg is broken.”

“Selmak will fix it” he tried to say wondering why she was so quiet. And why did he have a cast on it anyway? This was a Tok'ra base by the looks of it and they had no need for casts of any kind. So why put one on him?

And where was Selmak anyway? It was most unlike her not to have an opinion on the subject. On any subject come to that. “Selmak!” he called aloud and in his head trying to reach her. Something wasn't right here. He tried to get up again to find the medics pushed him back down.

“Don't be so stubborn Sir,” Sam told him. “They'll sedate you like they did Dad.”

Jacob looked at her. “Sir? Sammie since when did you call me Sir? Dad does perfectly well under most circumstances.”

Sam looked at him horrified and then at the medic. “I think that bump on the head he got affected him more than we realised.”

The medic nodded. “I'll sedate him for a few more hours. Hopefully by then his scans will be normal.”

Jacob shook his head. “No,” he said wondering why his voice sounded different. He ran a hand over his head. His hair needed washing, it felt dirty…. Wait a minute… Hair??? What the hell was going on here? He felt a needle prick his arm and everything started going dark. He was alone, he realised as he passed out. She was gone.

Eight hours later Malek stood worriedly next to the bed of his old friend. They were ready to bring him round for a while. The scans they had done indicated severe neural trauma but until they woke him they had no idea how much. General O'Neill was the same. Both had woken the once and been extremely incoherent and very confused. Malek nodded at Tilja and she gave the figure on the bed the stimulant to wake him.

Jack opened his eyes and then shut them again immediately. The walls were still blue and he still had a rock for a bed. So much for him dreaming; maybe if he went back to sleep he'd wake up in the right place this time. <Come on you> the voice in his head told him. <Wakey wakey rise and shine. Time to get up.>

“No… this is so not happening,” Jack said aloud. He opened his eyes as Tilja ran the scanner over him and he batted it away furiously. “I don't need one of those things to tell me what you have done to me!” he yelled. “I distinctly remember saying I would rather die than have one of those snakes put back in my head. Now …” he fixed Malek with an icy glare that struck dread into the new cadets on base. “You get it out of me Now. Or I sever all diplomatic relations with the Tok'ra effective immediately.”

Malek put a hand on his arm. “Please calm down,” he said.

Jack shook it off. “I do not intend to calm down! Get the hell off me and get this snake out of me NOW!” he yelled. He turned as Sam came into the room. “Tell them Carter… no more snakes.”

Sam looked at him. “Dad? You okay?”

Jack shook his head. “Dad? Carter for crying out loud I am not your father!” He jumped off the bed. “I'm getting out of here. Go back to the SGC and…”

On the other bed, Jacob turned his face to one side, tuning out the shouting. Selmak had gone, left him without even saying goodbye. Why would she have done such a thing? And why were they treating him like this? They were more concerned with the other patients than him. Maybe he didn't count now he was no longer Tok'ra, but that didn't excuse Sam from treating him the way she was. He had thought he had brought her up better than that.

Jack swore loudly as two Tok'ra grabbed hold of him, forcing him back onto the bed. “You are not going anywhere,” they told him. “Not until you are fit.”

“For crying out loud get your hands off me! I am not one of you no matter what you think. You are not going to get away with this.”

<For crying out loud???> the voice said. <You have been hanging around that annoying Jack O'Neill far too long.>

Jack jerked slightly and went totally still. “What???” he said aloud. He forced himself free and got up. “I don't know what's going on but I am so out of here.”

Sam reached out for him. “Dad please, they are trying to help you.”

Jack raised his hands. “Don't you *Dad* me Carter. Which part of I Am Not Your Father do you not understand?”

“Will you shut up over there?” Jacob said. “Some of us have a lot to think through right now.”

Jack glanced over towards the voice. “That kind of treatment seems a bit antiquated for you guys,” he muttered sarcastically. He then wondered what was wrong with his voice. It didn't sound quite right.

“Dad please,” Sam tried again.

Jack glared at her. “Carter stop it.”

Malek caught hold of his arm and said “Jacob I must insist you return to the bed and let us finish our tests.”

Jack stopped short. “I beg your pardon? What did you call me?”

Jack raised his hands to his head. “I don't quite know what's going on here but you guys are delusional. Even the voice in my head is calling me Jacob. Don't you know who I am?”

He stormed towards the door and glanced at the figure on the bed. “Don't let them forget who you are,” he said. Then he stopped, the colour draining from his face. “What the…” he managed and walked over to the bed looking in horror at the figure on it.

Jacob looked at the person moving towards him. “Wait a minute,” he said. He looked over at Malek. “What the hell is going on here?”

Malek looked at him. “I'm sorry General O'Neill, I don't understand.”

“What did you call him?” Jack asked at the same moment Jacob said “What did you call me?”

Malek looked at Jack and then Jacob. Okay if they wished him to go back to basics then he would do. He looked at Jacob. “You are General O'Neill and you,” he said turning to Jack, “Are Jacob Carter host to Selmak of the Tok'ra.”

Jacob looked at him. “No I'm Jacob. I don't know why he looks like me but….”

<Jacob?> Selmak asked.

“Shut up!” Jack said. He looked at the others. “No not you, the voice in my head. Keeps making comments. Last time I checked I was Jack O'Neill and….” He ran his hand over his nearly hairless head, staring in wonder at the man on the bed who looked just like him.

Sam came over with a mirror. “Look Dad,” she said she said handing the mirror to Jack. “Carter,” he snarled. “Told ya drop the Da…..” he looked in the mirror and his face dropped about a mile. “That's not me….” He said slowly. He handed the mirror to Jacob whose reaction was exactly the same. The two men looked at each other in horror and shock. Then Jacob looked at Malek. “I think someone better tell us what's going on.”

“Preferably Now,” Jack added. “And what happened to the rest of the team?”

Malek looked at him and then Jacob. “I'm afraid they are dead. You were the only two we recovered alive from the complex.”

Three days previously.

Jacob arrived at the SGC to be met by Jack. For some reason which escaped him Jack had requested his presence but wouldn't tell him why. Jack greeted him and took him to his office. Jacob sat down opposite Jack's desk and looked at him. “So what gives?”

Jack handed him a file. “This. Figured maybe you and I go check it out.”

Jacob raised an eyebrow and looked at the file. After a minute or two he said, “It does sound intriguing. But why me?”

Jack got up and paced round the desk. “Back up plan. Because they asked for the person in charge and last I checked that is me. Plus I want out of here. I want to get back into the field and I figured go with you and they can't argue, well they can but they won't dare if I suggest a joint mission with the Tok'ra. SG1 are off world right now so they can't go.”

Jacob looked at him hard, pushing aside the fact he was a ‘back up plan'. “Just the two of us? You have got to be kidding,” he said hearing Selmak's cry of <Nooooooooooooo> echoing through his mind.

“And why is that? You, me, that snake of yours…. Sorry and Selmak,” he corrected as Jacob shot him a filthy look. “We can take another Tok'ra if you want or we can take some of my men. Point is, this has piqued your interest the same as it has mine right?”

Jacob nodded and turned back to the file. “It has,” he said dryly. Selmak seethed within him. <Snake? SNAKE?? Let me deal with him once and for all.>

Jacob tried to calm her as he read. < There's time enough to deal with the snake comment later Selmak. So what do you think?>

Selmak hissed at him. <I think Jack O'Neill needs to learn what a snake is like when she's annoyed. What I would like to do to him if I could get hold of his neck.>

Jacob shook his head slightly. <The report Selmak. Not Jack's neck.>

<If you wanna go, then go> she replied sulkily. <I still wanna wring his neck.> She wriggled slightly as Jacob hugged her. <And don't think you can get round me like that> she told him. <I'm cross.>

<And you're so adorable when you're cross> Jacob said looking up at Jack and trying not to react to the image Selmak sent him of just what she wanted to do to Jack's neck were she ever given the chance.

Jack looked at him. “Sooooo?”

Jacob nodded. “Sounds good. We'll take a couple of SF just to keep them happy but we won't need anyone else.”

<Good less witnesses when I….> Selmak said still angry.

Jack nodded. “Good then let's go now, before they decide to stop us.”

The gate whooshed shut leaving them in the dark. Immediately the two SF's activated flash lights and checked the area. “Clear Sir,” they said. Jack nodded and took point, much to their disgust. Jacob followed him letting the SF's bring up the rear. <You could shoot him now> Selmak suggested.

<Behave> Jacob told her. <As tempting as the idea is it wouldn't do any good in the long run. Just ignore him and his snake comments.>

They walked for several miles until they came to a group of several buildings about 3 hours after sun up. Despite Jacob's objections, Jack walked right up to the main one and went inside. It was decked out like any council office would be, with a big desk marked reception. He rang the bell and waited patiently for someone to appear.

Jacob wandered round the room, letting Selmak run her careful eye over everything. Her internal alarm had started ringing the instant the gate shut down. There were no birds, which was always a bad sign and no people either. Jacob turned as someone came into the room and spoke to Jack. Then there was a hissing sound and he found it hard to breathe. He dropped to his knees, his hands rising to his throat, vaguely aware of the others doing the same. His vision darkened as his throat constricted and he passed out from lack of oxygen having seen the others fall first.

Back in the present.

Malek looked at the two men in front of him. They were still in the healing chambers and had been joined by the rest of SG1. “Then what?” he asked.

Jack scowled at him. “I woke up here with a snake in my head and looking like him,” he said nodding at Jacob.

Jacob looked at him from where one of the medics was at last mending his broken leg with a healing device. “And you have a problem with that?”

“With the snake or being bald?” Jack said sarcastically. He glared at Sam who snorted with laughter. “It's no laughing matter Carter. I aged before remember and never lost my hair. Any of it. I go on a mission with him and look what happens. Manage to lose my own body and end up with this one. Age about 20 years with no hair and a damn snake in my head….” Suddenly he dropped to his knees holding his throat. He gasped, trying his hardest to breathe but unable to.

Jacob laughed, knowing what was happening. Sam looked at him and then at Jack. “Sir?” she said. “Dad it's not funny, stop laughing and help him.”

Jacob looked at her. “It's Selmak. She promised she would wring his neck one of these days and I guess she is.”

Selmak was having fun, Jack was in no serious danger of suffocating, she wouldn't do that as it would kill her, but he didn't know that as he writhed on the floor, stars in front of his eyes on the verge of passing out. <Not a Snake> she chanted over and over again. <Not a snake! Not a snake! Say it>

Jack wondered how he was meant to say anything when he couldn't breathe. His eyes glazed over and he passed out. Selmak promptly took over and stood up. Rushing over to Jacob she hugged him tightly. “Glad you're okay,” she said to the amusement of the others. “But you've looked better.”

Jacob grinned at her. “Having a little too much fun are we? Just remember whose body that is.”

“I won't hurt it just hurt its current occupant every time he calls me a snake.” She grinned at him and then looked at Malek. “Can I suggest we go back to the planet and find out what happened and put it right? I'm sorry if I sound impatient, no actually I'm not sorry, I am impatient but I can't live with Jack O'Neill in my head and the sooner we work on getting him back in his own body the better."

Once Jacob's leg was healed enough for him to get round on a cane, they went to the Tok'ra map room and showed Malek exactly where the planet was. Jack had come round, mainly after Selmak had thrown several mental buckets of cold water over him. After which he called her every name under the sun he could think of and threw several snake comments in for good measure. Selmak ignored him, sending him to Coventry until she could think of a better way to deal with him. She had read about that English tradition on the Internet and liked the idea. (If you send someone to Coventry , you ostracise them; refuse to talk to them or co-operate with them. For a possible reason behind this purely British phrase see http://www.word-detective.com/112700.html and go down to the second one on the list.)

Daniel explained that when they hadn't returned to the SGC after two days a search party had been sent out. Jack held up a hand. “Wait a minute…. Two days? That can't be right.”

Jacob nodded. “I have to agree, we could have been gone no more than four hours.”

Malek looked at them both. “No it was two days. You were both unconscious for a further day.”

Jack shook his head. “I'm sorry but that's impossible.”

“I would remember if it were longer than a few hours,” Selmak said knowing Jack wasn't happy with her coming fore but doing it anyway as she wasn't speaking to him. Jack took a deep breath and managed to take control back. “Don't Do That! Apparently if it were any longer Selmak would have known.”

Malek looked at him. “In this case she is wrong…..”

Jack interrupted with a sharp laugh. “She?? You're telling me that Selmak is a she??? Oh this just gets better and better.”

Jacob's eyes narrowed. “Leave it Jack,” he said protectively. He may not technically be Selmak's host right now but he was not going to let anyone insult her. Especially not Jack O'Neill.

Jack laughed again. “So is this why you lot have a thing for skirts then?” His laugh broke off in a shout of pain. “Hey!” he shouted as Selmak thumped him again hard.

<You were told to drop it sweetness> she told him breaking Coventry momentarily, mentally grabbing his ear and twisting it hard. <Now play nice or else.>

“Or else what?” he yelped putting a hand to his ear and holding it.

The others looked at him in surprise then Jacob said “Selmak that's enough.”

Selmak immediately took control and looked at him. “But this is so much fun,” she told him. “And since when do I get to have fun. It's always suicide mission this, saving the world that. Just five minutes that's all I ask.”

“It will have to wait. We need to get back there and reverse whatever they did to us.” Jacob looked at Malek. “We can't risk sending in another team and have the same thing happen.”

Daniel looked at him. “Another team has already gone in, to rescue you and they got out alright. But ...”

Jack looked at him, having insisted on Selmak giving control back. “But what?”

“It wasn't like you just described it,” Daniel finished. “The place was a ruin, not been lived in for decades.”

“That's not possible. It was a thriving city… okay maybe thriving isn't the right word…..”

“Try empty,” Selmak interjected.

Jack sighed in exasperation. “Will you stop that?!” he yelled. “Jacob can't you control this snake of yours…… Aghhh!” He broke off in a cry of pain dropping to his knees as Selmak sent an electrical discharge through his spine.

Jacob shook his head. “Right now she is your symbiote not mine. You have to work with her not against her.”

Jack looked up. “That's a little hard when she isn't speaking to me. She sent me to someplace called Coventry . Wherever that is or meant to achieve.”

Malek looked at him. “Regardless of your differences you have to work with her right now. The three of you need to work together to solve this or you will remain this way permanently.”

Jack looked at Jacob. “That's how all this started.”

Jacob shook his head. “He has a point Jack. We fight and we won't get anywhere.” He looked at Daniel. “Did the rescue team get video footage?”

Daniel shook his head. “No. Teal'c and I can go back and do that if you want us to.”

“If you can do it with no risk to yourselves then at least we can see the differences between what we saw and what you did. But that will have to wait for daylight which isn't for another six hours,” Jacob said. “I need a shower.” He ran a hand over his head. “My hair needs doing.”

Jack looked at him suspiciously. “What's wrong with it?”

Jacob looked at him innocently. “Teal'c offered to help me with it.”

Jack swung round to Teal'c. “You what?”

“Indeed O'Neill. Jacob Carter I am at your service.” He cast a look over Jacob's hair. “I have one or two suggestions….” He followed Jacob from the room.

Jack made to follow them. “Now you wait just one minute!” he yelled.

Malek rolled his eyes. “No you wait,” he said grabbing Jack's arm. “Selmak is needed in the council chambers. There is an urgent matter she needs to deal with.”

Jack fixed his eyes on Malek. “What?” he said his voice low and menacing.

“The council are so far unaware of what has happened and for the time being Jacob and I wish it to remain that way. You will need to let Selmak fore for the next few hours.”

Jack shook his head, “No way, no how not ever am I gonna let that snake take over while they are let loose on my hair and…..”

His voice tailed off as Selmak thwapped him again then sent him into a deep sleep. She sighed heavily. “Thank you,” she said to Malek. “I will be in the bathing pool.”

Malek just looked at her. “I was not joking. Delek and Naquin are in the council chambers waiting for you.”

Selmak rolled her eyes. “Okay, well tell them that I will be along shortly… if not longly…. “

Malek looked at her. “Selmak, it's important. You need to hear this.”

Selmak sighed heavily. “Okay, lead on McDuff.” Maybe there were gonna be advantages to technically being in Jack O'Neill's head. She could use his lack of logic on Delek. Oh this could be such fun. Only it wasn't. It was Boring. So boring she even considered waking Jack up and letting him take over. Only that would not only let the cat out of the proverbial bag, it would only serve to get Delek on hers and Jacob's case more so than he was now. She looked at him as he droned on and on and on ad infinitum and rummaged through Jack's mind and came up with the most wonderful descriptive name for him. Weasel. She almost laughed out loud, couldn't wait to tell Malek and Jacob. The term just suited him so perfectly.

Malek kept shooting Selmak glances throughout the meeting; worried she was going to give things away by her lack of concentration. Delek was clearly aggravated by it and eventually snapped. “Selmak! Do you have a problem?”

Selmak raised an eyebrow. “No, why do you?”

“You are not paying attention. This matter is important to the survival of the Tok'ra and you are paying no more attention than one of the children your host is so fond of.”

Selmak looked at Delek. “Yes maybe so, but surprisingly enough this isn't that important right now. I have a far deeper problem to deal with right now.”

Delek sat up straight. “You do have a problem then?” he said his mind whirling. Maybe this would be his chance to get rid of Selmak from the council once and for all. If she were unable to concentrate and he could prove her mentally unstable maybe…..

Malek looked over at her. “Selmak now is not the time….”

Selmak looked at him. “Yes time is of the essence. This is not time to be discussing things that do not matter when the fate of something far more important hangs in the balance.” She looked at Delek. “I appreciate your concerns and I will deal with them, in time. But not this time, or indeed any time in the future.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Then maybe I can help you?”

“Thank you for the offer but I can manage this one without your help.”

Delek looked at her. “Far from it. There are several concerns over your wellbeing right now. And I consider it my duty to a fellow Tok'ra and council member to offer any assistance I can give.”

“Rubbish!” Selmak snorted.

“Rubbish?” Delek repeated.

Selmak drew on Jack's knowledge of English and looked at Delek. “Yeah rubbish. Also known as nonsense, twaddle, claptrap, hogwash, codswallop, humbug….. Want anymore definitions?”

Delek took a deep breath. “You forget who you are talking to…. I have the ear of the council now, not you.”

Selmak drew herself to her full height of well over six foot, which was taller than Delek. “Do you insinuate that I should tolerate such diabolical insubordination, from such a mere microscopic specimen of anatomy as yourself whose comprehension cannot even comprehend my meaning? Therefore consider yourself well and truly squashed.” She turned to Malek. “I've heard enough. You know where I will be if you need me.” And with that she turned and left the room. Malek just hoped that Delek didn't notice that as she left she was storming out the way that General O'Neill would.

Jacob looked at himself in the mirror and then at Teal'c and Daniel. “You sure this is a good idea?” he asked. “Jack will kill us.”

Daniel looked at him in the beige Tok'ra skirt and the tight plaits that Teal'c had put in his hair. “Probably, but who says we have to tell him?”

“Tell who what?” Malek asked from the door and then laughed as he saw Jacob. “You don't know how much I needed that right now.”

Jacob looked at him. “I assume all did not go well at the meeting.”

“No my friend it did not. Selmak avoided killing Delek but barely. She gave him several definitions of rubbish and then insulted him in a very un-Selmak like way.”

Jacob sighed. “Don't tell me Jack's being a bad influence on her.”

Malek nodded. “I'm afraid so. The sooner we get you two back the way it should be the better.”

Jacob nodded. “Where's Selmak now?” He looked at Malek who just raised an eyebrow. “It's okay; you don't need to tell me… I can guess. I'll go have a word.” He looked over at Daniel, who was busy taking photos. “You got enough evidence yet?”

Daniel nodded. “Yep.” He handed Jacob the pants to go with the jacket. “Although I must admit I never realised Jack had such nice legs.”

Jacob laughed as he changed. “That had better not get back to him.”

Daniel grinned. “No I value my life too much for that.”

Teal'c just raised an eyebrow. “Maybe now would be a good time to go back to the planet and see what we can find. Do the recording that we were asked for.”

Daniel nodded. “I think it would.” He handed the camera to Malek. “Guard this with your life. Don't let it fall into the wrong hands… yet.”

Malek smiled and took the camera. “Don't worry it won't.” He followed the other men from the room, planning on taking Daniel and Teal'c to the gate. Jacob made his way to where he knew Selmak would be. Surprisingly she was alone. Jacob removed his boots and socks and rolled up his pant legs and sat on the edge of the bathing pool his feet in the water. “Hey,” he said.

Selmak looked up at him. “Hey you,” she said quietly. “How you doing?”

“Okay… you?”

Selmak looked back down at the water. “Not okay but that's life. Council meeting was boring. You didn't miss much. Delek ranted and raved some. Offered to help us solve any problems we might have.”

“Yeah about that. Malek said you were pretty rude to him.”

Selmak looked at him. “He deserved it. He was rude to me. Thinks the entire world revolves around him and his petty plans for the Tok'ra. He'd make a good Goa'uld at times.”

“That doesn't mean you have to be rude to him. What's gotten into you? Malek is worried about you and so am I. This isn't like you.”

“But then I'm not me am I?” Selmak sighed, pushing her hand through the water. “It's my body but it's not me. Came up with a new name for Delek though. Weasel. Doesn't seem so funny now.”

Jacob looked at her. “Selmak? What's wrong?”

“Nothing….. Just want things back the way they were.” She looked up at Jacob. “What did you do to his hair?”

Jacob reached up having forgotten about the plaits. “Yeah ummm Teal'c's idea. Apparently the last time this happened, Teal'c and Jack swapped bodies and Teal'c wanted to shave Jack's hair off. And I always fancied plaits so as I have hair now….”

“You and your hair…. Not my fault you have more hair on your chest than you do on your head.”

Jacob watched her for a moment. Something was wrong with her. He looked her over. It was strange seeing his body from the outside, few more scars than he remembered. New ones by the looks of it on his chest, upper arms and wrists. Wait a minute… scars? “Selmak how did we get those?” he asked pointing to them.

Selmak looked down. “Ummm I don't remember,” she said morosely. “You're always getting hurt, how am I supposed to keep track all the time?”

“No, they weren't there a few days ago.”

“They must have been.”

Jacob sighed. “You spend long enough in the bath Selmak. I know how many scars we have and you tend to fix new ones up fairly promptly. Those I don't remember getting...”

Selmak ran a finger over them. “Kay… can get rid of them if you want.”

Jacob shook his head. Then he stripped off his shirt, looking down at his or rather Jack's chest. Sure enough there were scars in the same place. He looked up at Selmak. “What's going on here?”

She shrugged. “Who knows, cares or dares to dream?” she commented. She stood up and climbed out of the pool. Grabbing a towel she started to dry off. “I need a beer. Coming?”

Jacob did a double take. “You don't drink.”

“I do now.”

Jacob shook his head. He put his boots back on. “We need to go see Tilja, get her to look at these scars.” He put his shirt back on.

Selmak raised an eyebrow. “You think she'll say yes now because you have a few new scars? She is not gonna change her mind about you now.”

Jacob raised an eyebrow. “There's time yet. Come on lets go.”

Selmak dressed slowly. Then sighed. “Oh great. He's waking up. Well it's been fun but I gotta go. Bye. We who are about to die salute you.”

“Selmak?” Jacob said worriedly then watched as Jack took control of the body. “Hi, sleep okay?” he asked.

Jack shook his head trying to get his bearings. “Where am I?” he asked.

“Selmak wanted a bath after the council meeting. You were asleep.”

Jack looked at him. “A bath?”

Jacob nodded. “Yes and now you and I have to go to the healing chambers. Look.” He pulled off the shirt and showed Jack the scars. “You have ones in the same places and they weren't there before we left Earth. We should get them checked out.”

Jack just looked at him. “What did you do?” he asked.

“I'm sorry?”

“My hair… What Did You Do?” he raised his right hand and floored Jacob with a swift blow to the side of the head.

Jacob fell to the floor, but before he could get up Jack was on him, landing blow after blow on him. “Bad enough you took my body but leave the hair alone!”

Unable to fight back Jacob lay there as Jack hit him over and over. He was only vaguely aware when the punches finally stopped. Two Tok'ra held Jack back. “That's enough!” Malek roared.

“You saw what he did to my hair!” Jack yelled back. “It's not enough…. I'm stuck here with a snake in my head and he's off having fun with my hair.” He tried to pull free.

Malek got down next to Jacob. “You okay?”

Jacob looked at him. “Need to get to the healing chambers. We have scars we didn't have before we left Earth and Selmak isn't in her right frame of mind.”

Selmak pushed fore. “Nothing wrong with me that a beer or six won't fix,” she said.

Malek looked at her and then back at Jacob. “Scars?”

Jacob showed him. “Jack has matching ones.”

Selmak looked at him. “You got hurt again. You have matching black eyes. Did Jack beat himself up?”

Jacob managed half a smile through the spilt lips. “You could say that.” He got to his feet with the help of Malek.

“Let's get you both checked over… get to the bottom of what's going on.”

In the healing chambers both men were sat side by side on the bed while Tilja, Malek and another medic went over their injuries with a fine tooth comb, comparing the size and placing of the scars. "They are exactly the same," Tilja said finally. "And there is bruising too." She pressed lightly on the men's backs. "Here and what looks like restraint marks on your wrists and ankles."

"Why only just notice them now?" Jack asked.

She looked at him. "When you were brought in you were both unconscious and had serious head injuries."

"Yeah well being tied up and prodded does that to you," Jacob said sharply.

Malek looked at him. "What?"

Jacob nodded slowly. "Yeah... I remember now... the gas knocked us out.... then there was another room......"

3 days previously.

Wantoo finished restraining Jack into the alcove and looked over at Freefor. “This one put up more of a fight against the zleepaid,” he commented.

Freefor nodded. “The scans indicated that there are two distinct minds inside this body.”

“Will it affect the transfer?” Fifsix asked.

“No,” came a forth voice. “It should not do as it does not seem to be the dormant one.”

Selmak cringed as they heard that. <Just don't tell Delek> she said. Jacob shook his head internally. <No way> he replied. He was doing his best to appear unconscious. They, whoever these aliens were, had pulled the four of them from the room they were gassed in and taken them to a really cold room where they were stripped, examined and then restrained. From the lack of complaints he assumed the others were still out of it. At Selmak's suggestions he hadn't moved or let them know he was awake.

Now naked and strapped by chest, wrists and ankles in what was little more than a glass alcove, he was regretting it. <Sel I don't like this.>

<Me either. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you should show them what we can…..> She broke off sharply. Jacob's eyes sprung open as a sharp stuck him in the arm, the vial of green liquid forcing its way into his veins and the hand holding it. Fur he thought. He glanced up at the figure holding the needle, struggling to stay conscious as the meds flooded his system. <Teddy bears> he thought as he passed out.

Selmak didn't pass out. She was no more than an observer, bound and helpless in the alcove. There was a whirring noise and try as she might she couldn't open her eyes. Something gripped her head firmly and then was pressure and finally pain in her temples and something pressed against them. Bright light, which was visible even through closed eyes, filled all her senses blinding her completely. Then a most unsettling feeling of floating on a sea of pain, finally riding or surfing over a wave of pain that built and built and never peaked.

Back in the present .

“Then we were here,” Selmak finished.

Malek looked at them and then at the dial. Both men had agreed, albeit very reluctantly on Jack's part, to be zatarged and the light was blue. “We need to know how this was done and why,” he said.

Jacob nodded. “And stop it from happening to someone else.”

Just then another Tok'ra came rushing in. “There is a message from SG1. They need Jacob and Selmak to return through the gate immediately.”

Jack bristled at that comment. “What about me? Don't I count?”

“No,” Selmak said happily pushing fore. “You don't.”

Jack's eyes narrowed at that. “Don't do that!”

“Do what?” Selmak asked doing it again.

“That!” Jack snapped. “And I do count. Far better than you can too.”

“Doubt it,” Selmak said. “One two miss a few ninety nine one hundred, coming ready or not.”

Jacob looked over at them. “Stop it the pair of you!”

Selmak looked hurt and then retreated sulking.

Jacob shook his head. “We need to get back there and sort this so we can get back to normal. Leave the bickering for another time.”

“Only she sent me to Coventry remember….” Jack said tailing off as he realised no one was listening to him anymore.

Malek nodded. “Yes, you should go. Do you want to take a medic with you this time?”

Jacob shook his head. “No, like you said no point risking more lives.” He jumped off the bed and looked at Jack. “You should get these knees seen to Jack… they might just invalid you out otherwise. Selmak could do it for you if you asked her…..”

Jack shot him a filthy look. “And you think I complain…. At least you don't have a sna…. OW!!.... Selmak putting in her 2 centsworth and taking over every thirty seconds.”

“Not every thirty seconds,” Selmak said. She looked at the look on Jacob's face and mirrored on Malek's and decided to go before she was yelled at again.

“See what I mean…..” Jack complained rubbing his ear again.

Malek shook his head. “Maybe if you stopped insulting her and started listening to her and working with her you might learn something.”

On the planet SG1 waited for the others to arrive. Teal'c stood guard over the two alien scientists they had captured. He, Sam, Daniel and the Tok'ra Ash'ram had arrived just after dawn to find the place as Jack and Jacob had described. They too were gassed but the gas hadn't affected Daniel and Teal'c. They guessed his antihistamine and Teal'c's tretonin had protected them, acting as an antidote to it. They were separated from the others and imprisoned in another part of the complex. It hadn't taken much effort to escape and they had found the others about two hours after they escaped. Sam and Ash'ram, both now pale and lifeless, had been place in what looked like strange alcoves, restrained the way that Jacob had described.

Daniel looked at the two aliens again and wondered if Jacob or Jack would kill them first for what they had done to Sam. And come to that, how was he going to tell them? Neither of the aliens would say a thing, just sat in silence, their fur rippling in the breeze. The gate started dialling in and the little aliens looked up at it. Any hope they might have had of making a break for it were short lived as Jack and Jacob came through and neither looked very happy.

Jacob's eyes narrowed as he saw the two aliens sat bound and guarded. Jack's eyes glowed as Selmak, a very angry Selmak came fore. “YOU!!” Selmak yelled. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE????” She flew over to them pushing past Teal'c who immediately caught hold of her arm. “Wait,” he told her.

Daniel put a hand on Jacob's arm. “Jacob,” he said his voice heavy with emotion.

Jacob stopped short and looked at him. “What is it?” He looked round, “Where's Sam?”

Daniel swallowed, ashen now, emotion in his eyes and voice. “Jacob there is no easy way to say this….”

“Just say it. Where's my daughter? Where's Sam?” Worry tinged his voice now.

Daniel looked at him. “I'm sorry Jacob…. She's dead.”

Jacob staggered back as if he had been shot. The colour drained from his face. “Nooooooo…. Sam!” he managed covering his face with his hands. Then after a moment he raised the zat in his hand and turning swiftly shot each of the aliens once. “Give me a reason to fire again,” he said coldly. “Just one.”

Jack moved over to his side. “How about they are alive and she isn't?” he said, Selmak coming through on his voice.

“Sounds good to me,” Jacob said.

“Wait!” Daniel said. “Kill them and you may never get back to normal.”

Jacob hesitated, his finger tightening on the firing mechanism. “They killed Sam,” he repeated.

Daniel looked at Jack. “Do something,” he said.

Jack nodded. “Jacob don't do this. Yes they need to pay for what they did but this is not the way. We need to fix what they did to us then we can find Sam and take her home.”

Jacob didn't look up.

<Let me try> Selmak whispered to Jack. She hated seeing her host in so much pain and being unable to comfort him. This hang up human men had over hugging each other was pathetic… Jacob needed a hug right now not yelling at and a talking to.

<You won't try anything funny like not give me control back or go dye my hair pink?> Jack asked suspiciously.

<Oh plu-ease!> Selmak said. <Pink?? What do you take me for? Just let me talk to Jacob.>

Jack nodded and gave control to Selmak. <Okay, I guess trust has to start somewhere and he isn't listening to us.>

<Thank you…. and pink nah…. Purple maybe….> Selmak teased then turned to Jacob. She still thought of him as her host even though he was no longer sharing the body with her.

Selmak put out a hand and touched his arm. “Jacob?” she said gently and pulled him into a hug, aware that he was still aiming the zat at the two small aliens beyond them. “I'm sorry about Sam, I know how much you love her and I do to. But this isn't the way. You know that.” She hugged him tightly then pulled back to look at him. “The Jacob Carter that has been my host these past few years knows that. I want things different too, want Sam back… but that isn't going to happen. I can't live like this and neither can you or Jack. If we don't find a way to fix what they did to us, we will both be dead in a matter of days.”

Jacob finally looked up. “What?” he said. The two aliens looked at each other and looked at the tall grey person with the funny voice. Selmak continued. “This body is dying and I suspect the one you now inhabit is too. When these beings switched your consciousness they seem to have done something to the cohesion of your body. The very essence, life force, soul if you want to term it as such is missing. Without that not even I can keep going.”

Jacob looked at her and then turned his eyes back on the two small aliens by Teal'c's feet. “What Did You Do?” he said emphasising every single word.

The aliens jabbered away for a moment then Wantoo spoke in English. “We meant no harm. We were curious; wanted information for our records. No one has come through the ring before and we have never seen anyone like you.”

Selmak shook her head. “Try again!” she said sharply. “For I know who you are now. You are Gatherers, soul stealers. You lie about the Stargate and probably the rest as well.”

Freefor looked at her. “We just wanted information for our library.”

Jack looked at the others. “That's why we came here. SG13 found references on P9X-752 to a library… a huge repository of knowledge here. Jacob and I thought we'd come check it out.”

Jacob looked at him. “No… you wanted to go,” he corrected. “You knew they'd never let you go alone so took me along with you, knowing they'd never refuse if you went with the Tok'ra. But that's by the way now.” He looked over at the aliens again. “Continue.”

Freefor looked at Wantoo. “When you arrived you were deemed suitable for additions. We had not encountered any of your species and needed the additions.

“Show us!” Jacob said curtly pointing with the zat.

After a short walk they arrived at the main complex. Wantoo led the way into a large room filled with many crystal discs of various colours and a console with a screen filled one end of the room. “Each data storage unit contains all the information we gathered from each subject.” He picked up what looked like a blue crystal floppy disk and inserted it into the slot on the console. Immediately the hexagonal screen lit up and started running through a detailed list of biometric measurements and biological detail on the basic outlined humanoid figure. Then the images changed and pictures started appearing.

Jacob looked up sharply. “What the …?” he began.

“Her memories,” Wantoo said. “Everything she was is here now. Her life, her memories, her essence.”

“Shut it off!” Jacob said bringing the zat to bear again. “Shut It Off Now!”

Wantoo's hand hesitated and Jacob immediately swung round and zatted Freefor. “I said SHUT IT OFF!!” he roared. The image froze on a man's face reflected in the mirror next to a blonde child of about six.

Jack moved over to him; Selmak's grief and rage filling him as he walked. He put a hand on Jacob's arm. Nothing he could say would it any easier on him. Jacob looked at him. “Her first day at school,” he said. “She didn't want to go.”

Daniel looked at Wantoo. “Something went wrong when you tried to extract the memories of these too.”

Wantoo nodded. “Yes. This one,” he pointed to Jack “contained two minds, almost two different people. And this one,” he pointed to Jacob, “had a genetic make up we had not expected. Mid way through the transfer the system overloaded and the essence was switched.”

Daniel looked at him. “So instead of going onto disk, the memories were transferred to the other body?”

Wantoo nodded slowly. “Not just memories…. Their life essence… the thing that makes them them.”

“Is it reversible?”

“To put the disk information back into the original body is possible but we have never done so as we lose the library information.”

Jacob glared at him. “Shove your library!” he said vehemently. “If it's possible to put the essence and memories back into the body what happens to that person?”

Wantoo looked at him. “They live as normal, as if nothing had ever happened. She is living now; she is just a blank slate. An exhibit in the museum.”

Jacob lashed out with a right hook that sent Wantoo flying across the room and into the far wall. Then he turned on Freefor. “Jacob,” Selmak said grabbing hold of him. “No!”

Jacob struggled to get free. “My daughter is not a Museum exhibit!” he yelled angrily.

“I know she isn't. Let him finish talking before you kill him,” Selmak said more calmly than she felt. She actually wanted to go wring their necks for doing this to Sam and their other countless victims over the years but that really wouldn't solve the current predicament they found themselves in.

Daniel pulled Wantoo to his feet. “Talk!” he said. “Can you or can you not put the memories back?”

Wantoo nodded. “Each disk contains the soul of that person. Everything that makes them who they are.”

“But it's possible?” Jacob repeated.

“Yes it is.”

Jack looked at him, not letting go of Jacob. “What about us?”

Wantoo looked at him. “What about you?”

“Can you switch us back? Put me back in my own body?”

Freefor looked at him. “It has never been done before but it is theoretically possible. There is a strong possibility of death or failure however.”

Jacob looked at him hard. “What about all the others? Those ‘exhibits' in your museum?” he asked spitting out the words exhibits and museum.

“Their souls can be returned without lasting effects,” Wantoo said.

“Then do it!” Jacob said sharply. “Then ask if they will share information with you. You don't need to rob them of their lives for that. Start with Sam.”

Wantoo nodded and led the way down a corridor into the main exhibition room. Thousands of naked bodies lined the walls, many different species. Each had their eyes open but there was no life in them at all. Jacob gasped and then paused as they reached the alcove Sam was in. He made spinning movements with his hands and people obediently turned round. Jacob removed his tunic and gently got Sam into it doing it up. It was short but more or less covered her decently. Then he nodded. “Okay.”

Wantoo inserted the blue disk into the slot next to Sam's alcove. Bright light filled the room and the probes holding Sam's head in place started to vibrate. It seemed to take hours before the glow subsided and Wantoo turned off the console. “It's done,” he said. “Leave her to rest while we see to you and your associate.”

Reluctantly Jacob let them lead him to one set of alcoves. They restrained him like they had before. Jack looked over at Teal'c as they restrained him. “And don't think you are getting away with it either,” he said.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

“Plaits,” Jack said.

“Indeed,” came the stoic reply.

Then pain filled the two men who stiffened and gasped. Bright light flooded the room again and they fell into unconsciousness. This time Selmak falling with them.

Six hours later Jack woke to find himself on a hard stone bed with a splitting headache. He cautiously opened one eye then the other and groaned. Blue walls, a stone for a bed, he'd been here before. Talk about your déjà vu. He closed his eyes and waited for the voice in his head to tell him to wake up. But it never came.

Jacob woke and sat up in the same movement. “Sam!”

Malek put a hand on his arm. “Sam's fine…. She's sleeping, like you should be.”

“Where is she? I need to see her, need to make sure.”

Malek helped him up and over to where Sam was sleeping peacefully, Daniel and Teal'c by her side. “See she's fine. Now rest,” he told him.

Jacob nodded slowly touching Sam's hand to reassure himself that she was warm and okay. Then he went back to bed himself. “What about Selmak?” he asked not having heard from her since he woke. Assuming he was himself that is.

Malek looked at him. “Sleeping,” he answered. Truth was no one had heard from Selmak since the transfer was completed.

Eight hours later both Jack and Jacob woke again to find the room completely empty apart from each other. Both men sat up cautiously and glanced across the room at each other. Neither spoke for a moment, wondering if their eyes were deceiving them. Then Jack picked up the hand mirror that had been placed by his bed and looked at it. “Well it looks like me,” he said. He ran a hand over his hair. The plaits had been removed while he had slept he was glad to see.

He handed the mirror to Jacob who looked at his reflection. “Looks like it worked then,” he said.

Jack nodded. “You okay?”

“Yeah you?”

“Yeah…. how's Selmak doing? It's kinda quiet in here now,” Jack said pointing to his head.

Jacob nodded slowly. “Yeah, she can be a bit of a chatterbox at times.” He turned internally to her for a moment. <Selmak?> There was no answer. <Selmak??> he repeated. Still nothing. He looked at Jack. “I'm not getting anything from her.”

“Stay put,” Jack said and jumped off the bed in search of a medic. He came back a few minutes later with Malek and Tilja with Sam in tow. “Dad,” she said.

Jacob immediately pulled her into a hug, not needing words to say how glad he was that she was alright and how pleased he was to see her. “You okay?” he asked.

“I'm fine,” she said. “You?”

“I'm okay. I'm Me which is a good thing.”

“Gen O'Neill said something about Selmak not waking,” Sam said worriedly.

Jacob looked at Malek. “She's a little quiet,” he said slowly.

Malek nodded understanding immediately. Tilja smiled at him, reading between the lines. “It's probably just Selmak sleeping in,” she said not wanting to alarm Sam unnecessarily. “We'll run a few tests to make sure.”

Sam took her father's hand. “I'm staying,” she said.

Jacob squeezed her hand and shut his eyes as Tilja started her scans. Twenty minutes later she put a hand on his shoulder. “I'm done. Will be a few while I go through them. So if you wanted to freshen up now's the chance.”

Jacob nodded and hopped off the bed. “Won't be long,” he said and headed down the tunnels towards the bathing pools.

Jack looked at Malek and nodded understanding the silent request and followed. He got there to fine Jacob already in the pool. Undressing he slid into the pool and leaned back closing his eyes. Oddly enough he would have had severe problems with this idea a couple of days ago but now it didn't bother him at all. “No offence to being you,” he said, “But it's nice to be me again.”

Jacob opened his eyes slightly having really wanted to be alone but wasn't going to say as much. “Don't miss your knees,” he said closing his eyes again.

“I kinda got used to them,” Jack said. He leaned back against the jets, letting the water massage his back. “This is nice. I can see why Selmak likes it in here so much.”

Jacob smiled slightly. “Other than watching the sunrise this is her favourite place. We can just be us in here. No council, no hassle just us.”

Jack smiled. “Sounds nice. Maybe I get one of these put in at the base.” He paused. “But then it would need ten locks, no phone, no beeper, and a Carter keep out or else sign… I never get five minutes to myself.”

Jacob laughed slightly. “I can imagine. You know, you can always come and use the ones here.”

“Tempting,” Jack replied. “Can I leave my pager behind? Or maybe I take a few of those tunnelling crystals of yours and have a secret entrance under the floor of my office.”

Jacob rubbed the back of his neck. “You could do both,” he said slowly. “Then they'd never know where you were to find you.” <C'mon Selmak talk to me. I mean here I am in the bath with Jack O'Neill of all people and you have nothing to say on the subject?> He closed his eyes as he still didn't get a response.

“You know,” Jack said thoughtfully. “Malek had a point…. About working with Selmak rather than fighting her all the time. Still not changed my mind about wanting one of them in my head on a permanent basis, but it did make it easier when we worked together.”

Jacob let out a deep breath. “Yeah, two become one.” He looked at Jack. “It's not like her to be this quiet. Even when she sleeps she's not totally silent and she never sleeps for long.” He took a deep breath. “She wasn't right before they switched us back. She… you… I dunno… she was acting out of character. She insulted Delek to his face for one thing. Believe me we have been sorely tempted in the past but never done it.”

Jack laughed. “I can understand that. That guy not only looks like a weasel but acts like one too. Or is that unkind to weasels?”

“That's what Selmak called him,” Jacob commented. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Said she'd found a new name for him but it didn't seem funny now. Made several out of sorts comments too… like wanting a beer of six. She hates beer as much as she does coffee.” He rubbed the back of his neck again. “Where is she? Why isn't she responding?”

Jack put a hand on his arm. “I don't know… but you have two of your best people working on it.”

Both men looked up as Sam came in. She was surprised to find her father in the pool with her Commanding Officer but didn't say anything. “They're ready for you Dad,” she said quietly and left the room so the men could get dressed.

Reluctantly Jacob got out of the pool and dried and dressed. Jack followed suit. Then both men went back to the healing chambers. Malek and Tilja were sat at one end going over some data on a padd. They looked up as the two entered. “Have a seat,” Tilja said indicating the bed.

Jacob sat and waited as she and Malek came over to him. The last time he'd been this nervous about test results they'd told him he had cancer.

Tilja smiled reassuringly. “It's okay…. Selmak is fine. She's suffering from a chemical imbalance. It's making her very sleepy and act strangely. Basically it's as if she's drunk the whole time. It's easily fixable.”

Jacob nodded, his hand straying to the back of his neck again. “Because of this mission and switching bodies?” he asked blaming himself and remembering Selmak had said she couldn't maintain his body without him in it.

Tilja shook her head. “No, not at all. It looks like it has been there for some time. This just brought it to light. You said she's been acting irrationally and out of character?”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well that's one of the symptoms of this. Can you lie down for me and I can fix it.” She picked up a couple of vials. “Two shots, one for each of you then about twenty minutes with the healing device and she'll be back to normal.”

Jacob closed his eyes in relief and lay down as requested. The first shot in his arm didn't faze him. The second directly into his neck and then into Selmak did; his face creased and his hands tightened into fists. He gave no other outward sign of the excruciating pain it caused. Malek laid a hand on Jacob's shoulder showing him he was there for him. Sam sat next to the bed, feeling helpless while Jack and the rest of SG1 stood there quietly. Thirty minutes later Tilja put the healing device down. “Done,” she said. She ran the scanner over him. “Okay… any response from her?”

Jacob turned inward, reaching out for Selmak. <Selmak are you there?> he asked. There was nothing for a moment or two and he was afraid the treatment had failed. Then something gripped his spine tightly in a bear hug.

<And where else would I be?> came the reply. <Did it work? Are you you again and are we we?>

Jacob smiled as he hugged her back. <Yes it worked. And Tilja cured you too.>

<Good> she replied. <I so hate being sick all the time….. Especially with you being accident prone.>

<Why didn't you say something?> Jacob asked.

<Wouldn't stop you being accident prone if I did> Selmak said. <But I dunno… scared I guess. It's allowed… us Tok'ra do get scared…. Well maybe not Delek, don't think anything scares him, might be fun to try though… Sooooooooo now we back to normal can we go celebrate? Haven't had a good party in ages.>

Jacob looked up at the others who were all standing there waiting to see if it had worked. “Selmak wants to go celebrate everyone being back to normal.”

Jack grinned. “That's great. What does she suggest?”

Selmak looked at him from the bear hug Sam had given Jacob. She had gone though the memories of the time Jacob had spent in Jack's body. “Darts,” she laughed.

Jack looked at her. “Darts?” he repeated.

Selmak nodded. “I believe Malek has something you may wish to pin on the dart board.”

Jack looked at Malek, wondering why Daniel had gone quiet.

Malek nodded slowly looking apologetically at the others and let Jack to his office, where the cry of rage could be heard through out the base.

Daniel looked at Selmak. “Thanks Selmak.”

“You're welcome,” she said. “Now if only we could get such pictures of Delek….”

Jacob took control back before she got anymore ideas.

Daniel looked at the others. “I think now is the time for a strategic withdrawal,” he said.

Jacob looked at him innocently. “Why? All the picture shows is Jack in a skirt with his hair plaited. Who's gonna believe it was anyone other than him?”

Jack stood in the doorway, photo in his hand. “Jacob…..” he started.

Jacob looked at him. “Nice picture of you,” he said. “Must say beige looks good on you….. How many tunnelling crystals did you want? Selmak suggests a pool party at your place. No pagers or beepers or phones. Just a pool and some food and a dart board….” He broke off laughing.

Jack shook his head, “Well… I guess I did get us into the mess in the first place… and a pool party sounds great. But Daniel and Teal'c are cooking.”

“Why me?”

“Because you took the photo and you plaited my hair.”

“Indeed…..”

Fin

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