Chi Mai part 1

Summary: Jacob and Selmak fall out to the point of separating. Sam and SG1 go missing. Can Jacob and Selmak work together to find them or is this the parting of the ways?
Rating: R - as it contains fit and shirtless men! And scenes people might find disturbing
Warnings: See rating.
AN1: Plot Bunny from Marya. This story is set sometime in season 7 before Death Knell.
AN2: Songs taken from Blood Brothers by Willy Russell.
Thanks: to Marya for editing as usual.
Disclaimer: Jacob, Selmak, Malek and SG1 are not mine. I just borrow and play with them. They belong to MGM. Cept Jared, he's mine, all mine. :D

Chi Mai.
By Tels.

Jacob sat in the lounge room at Mark's house in San Diego . Jen was curled up next to him, reading to him from her story book. Reading aloud was something she loved doing and was using different voices for each character, having her father and grandfather in stitches as she read. Ryan sat at the table doing his science homework and Laura was in the kitchen making dinner.

Jacob was concentrating solely on his family. He'd spent the last few days here, trying to take his mind off what someone he cared about, or rather used to care about, had done. Not that it had been easy with her talking to him in their mind, begging him to reconsider. But it was too late. There was no going back now. This time she and the rest of her kind had gone too far . Tomorrow or the day after, he would be going back to the base, packing up the few personal belongings he had in his quarters and leave… for good. Mark had said he could stay here for the time being and he'd take him up on that offer. At least until he found a place of his own.

The phone rang and wiping her hands on the tea-towel Laura picked it up. “Hello?” She smiled slightly. “Hello Uncle George… yeah we're fine thank you… how are you?” She paused listening for a minute. “That's good… yeah Dad's here… Sure I'll get him for you.” She moved into the lounge and handed Jacob the phone, her hand over the mouthpiece. “It's Uncle George for you. He sounds serious.”

Jacob rolled his eyes and took the phone. “Hey George… What's up?” The colour drained from his already pale face as he listened. “No…” he whispered. “How bad?” The gnawing worry which had been in his gut for almost a week now intensifying.

Mark looked at him and then at the kids. “Upstairs kids now please.”

Ryan and Jen looked at him and heard the tone in Grandad's voice as he spoke and nodded, for once going without arguing.

Jacob got up and moved to the window, tears in his eyes and his face working to control the emotion within him. He felt physically sick and had to swallow hard to avoid retching. For once it wasn't the drugs making him sick. “I see… yeah. Arrange a plane at the base here. I can be there in an hour and then back with you four hours after that. Three if they push it.” He paused. “I don't care… she's my daughter and I have to be…” He lowered his voice. “Are they sure… I see…” His eyes closed and his voice cracked. “Just get that plane organised.” He turned off the phone and leaned heavily against the window.

Mark looked at Laura wondering what was wrong. He hadn't seen his father this upset since… since Mom died. He moved over to his father. “Dad?” he said putting a hand on Jacob's arm.

Jacob turned and looked at him, grief filling him.

Mark's stomach plummeted at the look of utter devastation on his father's face. “Dad, what is it? What's wrong?”

“It's Sam… There's been an accident… she's missing presumed dead,” he managed with his heart in his mouth, his stomach turning and his anger against a certain person growing by the second.

Mark staggered backwards as if he had been physically struck. “No…” he gasped, tears in his eyes and his face matching Jacob's. Then he moved into his father's arms and they stood there trying to get what comfort they could from each other.

Half an hour later Jacob left for the base, where his plane was waiting. He turned his thoughts inward. < YOU …> he began, his first word to her in a couple of days being a hate filled shout.

Selmak stirred; the drugs the Tok'ra had given her working heavily within her system. <What did I do now?> she asked. The sooner she was in her new host the better she thought.

<YOU DAMN SON OF A SNAKE!!!> Jacob yelled furiously. <Sam's Dead and it's ALL YOUR FAULT !!!>

--- --- --- ---

One Week Earlier.

Jacob woke slowly to the familiar moan in his head. <No it's not time to get up> he replied.

<Yes it is… I want to bathe before the meeting and take at least 90 minutes over it.>

<Selmak… I could have another hours sleep, go for a three mile run, shower and eat before that meeting in the time you want to take over a bath.>

<Jacob please…> Selmak pleaded. 

Jacob turned over. <No. And no you can't take over either. Its hands off remember.> He closed his eyes trying to go back to sleep.

<Jacob please…> Selmak said again. <It's been so long…>

<No… A shower will do. Now let me sleep will you.>

Selmak didn't want him to sleep and kept on at him to get up.

Jacob lay there humming to himself determined to lie in for as long as he could. He'd done the same when the children were small on his few days off. Bad enough he had to be up before dawn on his on duty days without having to get up early when he was home. So he lay there, eyes closed, humming and knowing it was annoying Selmak.

Glancing at his watch he figured he had about 20 minutes before the meeting was due to start. Throwing back the blanket he got up and headed down to the bathing pools. Selmak hoped he was going to relent over the bath. Even ten minutes would ease the cramp in her back, but no, her host headed for the small shower cubicles. <Jacob!> she moaned.

Jacob stripped and stood under the hot water. <What now?> he asked still humming to himself.

<This is not a bath…>

<It's a shower which is better than nothing.> Dressing quickly he shaved and then headed to the eating commons. He grabbed his normal cup of coffee and bowl of biscuits and gravy which he preferred over the fruit Selmak always chose when she was fore for breakfast. He sat down at a table and raised the coffee to his lips, savouring the smell of it.

Selmak curled up in horror. <Nooooooooo! You promised…>

Jacob slammed the cup down on the table. “For Pete's sake!” he muttered. “Do you have to criticise Everything I do??”

Delek looked over at him. “Are you alright Jacob?” he asked.

“I'm fine,” Jacob said. He got up and left the commons, leaving his breakfast untouched, heading slowly for the council chambers and the mornings meeting.

--- --- --- --- ---

Jacob normally kept out of the boring part of council meetings, replaying what he needed to know from Selmak's memories. He hated listening to them debating the day to day running of the base and mundane things like should they punish someone for not clearing up the mess they made in the bathing pools. So he would take the time to doze or think about other things, such as his upcoming vacation. He was planning on taking a trip to Earth in the next month or so and spending some time at Mark's.

Selmak read the report slowly and looked across the table at the other high council members. She knew Jacob was only half listening and that suited her just fine. He was forever adding his five eggs in and Garshaw was beginning to lose patience with him for doing so. She looked back down at the report, still reading.

Suddenly Jacob looked up. <What was that?> he asked. <Read that bit again?>

Selmak rolled her eyes and went back to the top of the paragraph; Jacob reading it to himself through slowly from the top. <Munoz Prime?> he repeated.

Jacob started going through Selmak's memories, just the name of the planet sounding horribly familiar. Then his stomach plummeted with horror as he got to it. He swore softly. <That's awful> he whispered.

Selmak nodded. <Jolinar never really recovered. She was there for six weeks before we got her out.>

<And you want to send a team back there?>

<We have no choice.> She looked up from the report. “I agree with your assessment. SG1 would be the best choice for this mission.”

<NO WAY!!> Jacob said loudly a sick feeling settling in his gut.

Selmak ignored him. She continued to speak softly. “The information from that sector is sketchy to say the least. If we had more operatives and more time then it would be different.”

Garshaw nodded. “We concur. We know Ashanti is moving again now, but we need to know where and when.”

Delek looked up from his notes. “We also need to know how big a fleet he is amassing. If we are to stand any chance of repelling him, before we lose another base to his army of jaffa.”

Jacob tried to take control of their body, but Selmak prevented him. <You can't send SG1!> he insisted. <It's too dangerous.> He paused. <You know that Selmak… you can't send them. Send some of your own people this time.>

Still ignoring him Selmak nodded. “If you wish, I will go to Earth and make the request. General Hammond is a long time personal friend of my host.”

Garshaw nodded again. “That would be acceptable. They would be more likely to agree to aid us in this if the request came from you. Plus there is the fact that Jacob's daughter is a member of SG1. And as host to Jolinar she will have the necessary memories to aid them in this mission.”

<Tell them no!> Jacob reiterated. <Jolinar's memories are the precise reason why Sam Can Not Go! Tell them now or I will.>

Delek looked at Selmak. “Emphasize we just do not have the people to spare at this time. We lost many operatives in the attack on the base on Kengendor.”

“I know we did… I was there,” Selmak said looking at him. “Those we have left are helping with the relocation. I understand that and so will the Tau'ri.”

<Don't shut me out Selmak.> Jacob tried again to push himself fore. Only much to his frustration, Selmak had blocked him again. <This is too dangerous, you can't send SG1. Will you let me up?!>

Selmak sighed. <Will you SHUT UP!> she hissed. <This is a Tok'ra high council meeting. Just keep out of things that do not concern you.>

 Jacob yelled. <SHUT UP??? KEEP OUT??? NOT MY CONCERN??? That is my daughter you are sending here.>

 came the short reply. <But when you are planning a mission you send the most qualified people to do the tasks required to get the mission done do you not?>

<You know damn well I do> Jacob hissed. <In this case that's a Tok'ra operative and Not SG1.>

Selmak looked at Garshaw. “Will you excuse me for a moment?” she asked.

Garshaw nodded. “Of course. We will adjourn for fifteen minutes.”

Selmak nodded and moved from the chamber into the tunnel. There she turned her full attention to her host. <What is your problem Jacob?> she asked bluntly.

< My problem?> he spluttered.

She nodded sharply. <Yes… your problem. You have done nothing but gripe all morning and I am sick of it.>

< You're sick of it??> Jacob muttered a string of the worst curses he could think of under his breath.

Selmak mentally washed his mouth out with soap, taking pleasure in the gagging reaction she got from him. <Yes I am. Sick of your attitude and of the amount of foul language you come out with when things do not go your way. So I ask again, what is your problem?>

Mentally looking daggers at her Jacob shook his head. <As if you don't know> he snapped. <You are sending my daughter somewhere she has no business going. She goes out there and it is just inviting trouble.>

Selmak shook her head. <She is the advantage SG1 need to complete this mission. She has Jolinar's memories to help…>

Jacob cut her off. <Precisely the reason she can't do this. You know what accessing those memories did to her last time. It took her a hell of a long time to get over that. To put her back into a situation where she has to use them could do untold damage.>

<Stop acting like a protective father and think like a military officer for a moment!> Selmak snapped. <We are fighting a war here incase you have forgotten. Tough decisions come with the territory. We have no one we can spare whereas the Tau'ri do have. SG1 can do this and I am sure they will agree.>

Jacob growled at her. <Don't you lecture me on conduct during a war. I fought in more wars than I care to remember. Did my fair share of the killing and watching the men I sent into battle being killed. I understand Selmak, but this is different. I have learned to listen to my gut instinct over the years and this is what I am doing now. We should not send them.>

She turned on her heel and went back into the council chambers, fully aware of Jacob seething inside her mind. She took her seat and took the newest report from Delek. “I am assuming its full disclosure with the Tau'ri this time,” she said looking straight at him. “If there is any hint of deception my host will not agree to do it.”

Delek raised an eyebrow. “You would put your host's needs and wants above what is best for us?”

Selmak glared at him. “If you want his co-operation in this matter you will do best to humour him. This is his daughter's team we want to use. His people; his best friend we are calling on. The alliance with his people rests on our continued good will and co-operation with them.” She paused. “Besides so long as all pertinent information is in this report there will not be a problem.”

Delek nodded. “Of course it contains what they need to know. There is no reason for us to hold back on them at this point.”

Selmak nodded. <That make you feel any happier?> she asked.

Jacob humphed and said something rude.

Selmak sighed. <Soap!> she hissed.

Jacob turned away from her, one of the few times he had done that since they had blended. <At least let me put my point of view across.>

Selmak sighed heavily.

Garshaw looked at her. “What is the problem?” she asked.

“My host is being unreasonable,” Selmak said shortly.

Delek raised an eyebrow. “Now that's a shock,” he said bluntly. “He lets his emotions get in the way far too often. There is no risk if they go now and do the job properly.”

<You self righteous, arrogant, pompous…> Jacob started. <Selmak let me fore NOW!>

Selmak shook her head at him. <No.> She looked at Delek. “He feels Samantha will be at risk if she goes.”

Garshaw raised an eyebrow. “She will be perfectly safe. He is letting his parental instincts override his common sense and sense of duty. He is Tok'ra now. He will do well to remember just where his loyalty lies.”

Selmak nodded. “I agree.” She stood up and collected all the pads. “Then I will go and brief the Tau'ri.” She left the council chambers and headed to the rings.

Jacob hit her hard to get her attention. <Selmak! You can't do this.>

 she replied ringing to the surface. <Now shut up or sleep. Your choice.>

--- --- --- --- --- ---

The base klaxons sounded. “Unauthorised incoming wormhole.” General Hammond looked up and then made his way to the control room, just as SG1 arrived. He nodded to them then looked at Walter. “Who is it?”

“It's the Tok'ra.”

“Open the iris.” Hammond nodded and then led the way down into the gate room.

Jack followed close behind. “Maybe its Dad,” he suggested to Sam.

“Maybe… I haven't heard from him in a while.” Sam watched as the iris opened and the event horizon rippled slowly. Then the single figure of her father appeared. She smiled and moved towards the ramp. “Dad!”

Selmak nodded slightly. “Samantha, it is good to see you again.”

Sam looked at her. “And you Selmak. Sorry I assumed…”

Selmak smiled. “It's alright, your father is normally in control when we first arrive, but he is sleeping right now.”

“Oh,” Sam said surprised. “Is he okay?”

<No I am not okay> Jacob hissed. 

She hissed something derogatory back to her host, hitting him hard for the snake comment. “Your father is fine. I am hoping that he will wake before we have to return to the base as I know that he will be very disappointed if we leave without him having a chance to speak with you first.” She turned to Hammond with a smile. “General Hammond I bring a request from the High Council.”

Hammond nodded. “Come this way, we can talk in my office.”

<Must you get your way ALL the time?> Jacob asked.

Selmak followed Hammond towards his office. She could be just as stubborn as Jacob when she wanted to be. <You had your way on the last mission I seem to recall> she hissed at him. <It went wrong, remember?>

<Oh come on Selmak… the contact never showed. How in Egeria's name is that meant to be my fault?>

<You insisted on going armed despite being told not to.>

Jacob humphed, <Excuse Me! We were going into enemy territory and you expect me to go unarmed?>

<That is what we were told to do,> Selmak told him . <Which part of obeying orders have you forgotten?>

 he snapped back . <Every soldier knows that and also the importance of following one's gut instinct.>

< Fine … so that gives you the right to jeopardise everything. Kengendor went pear shaped because you messed up!> Selmak yelled harshly.

Jacob stepped back a bit in his mind, shocked by what she said. <WHAT???>

<You heard. Kengendor was a direct result of the contact not showing because you went armed. It could have been averted if you had done what you were told.>

Jacob took a deep breath. < THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT !!!> he yelled at her.

<Yes… It… Was!> Selmak retorted emphasising every word. <You know we've been through so much together and most of it was your fault!>

Jacob bristled at that. <You know… if you wore panty hose I wouldn't be surprised if it rebelled against you, tied you to the car and then throttled you> he snapped back.

<Oh shut up!> Selmak tuned him out and turned to Hammond as she sat down in the briefing room. “I wish to borrow SG1,” she said cutting straight to the crux of the matter.

Hammond looked at her. “Oh?”

Selmak nodded. “A situation has arisen on Munoz Prime,” she said as she slid the report pads across the table to Hammond . “We know that Ashanti is gradually gathering forces and taking over worlds. We have recently lost several outposts and one base to him. Our information points to him being in this sector. And we also feel that SG1 are the best qualified team to send in.”

Hammond perused the report. “Why don't you simply send in your own people?” he asked.

Selmak looked at him. “Because we have none to spare right now,” she said quietly. “The last attack wiped out a base, killing at least a hundred. Many more are involved in rescue work right now. However that aside, none of our operatives could get in and out as easily as SG1 could do. We will of course share any information we gain from this.”

Hammond raised the phone and requested Colonel O'Neill joined him. Then he looked back down at the report. “And Jacob agrees with this assessment?”

<The hell I don't!> Jacob yelled, adding a couple of Goa'uld curses in there as well.

“Of course,” Selmak lied smoothly once more using the soap on her host's foul tongue. “I would not be here if he thought there was any risk. As I said it is a request from the council. However the matter is of some urgency.”

Hammond nodded. “I can see that… Come in Colonel.”

Jack came in and sat down.

Hammond passed over the report. “The Tok'ra council have requested your assistance. Apparently they think you and SG1 are the best equipped for this mission.”

“Really?” Jack said dryly. “And what makes them think that?”

Selmak looked at him. “The council say your team are the best operatives for a mission and you want to argue the toss?” she said using Jacob's phrasing.

Jack looked at her. “Just surprised that's all.”

Hammond looked at him. “Setting your surprise aside Colonel, what do you think?”

Jack read the report and then looked at him. “It's doable. Would take longer than the couple of hours it says here, but yeah it's doable.”

Selmak smiled. “Then you'll do it?”

Jack nodded. “So long as the rest of the team agrees, then yes.” He looked at Hammond . “Want to bring them in on this Sir?”

Hammond nodded and picked up the phone again. He watched as Jack read the report again, making notes as he did and occasionally asking Selmak a question. He wondered where Jacob was in all this. It wasn't like his friend to sleep through something as important as sending his daughter on a mission.

Selmak briefed the rest of SG1 when they arrived and answered their questions as best she could. She was aware of Sam watching her the whole time and finally asked her “Is something wrong Samantha?”

“Just wondering about Dad that's all. It's not like him not to have an opinion on this.”

Jack tapped his pencil on the table. “Yeah… about that… I was kinda wondering the same thing.”

Selmak rolled her eyes. “I assure you Jacob is fine. He is merely sleeping. We spent a while on Kengendor immediately after the attack and it took a lot out of him.”

Jack nodded slightly. “But he's okay with this?” He waved at the report in front of him.

Selmak nodded. “Yes he is. Do you wish me to wake him?”

Jack looked at Sam. “Major?”

Sam nodded and smiled slightly. “Yeah… I'd like his opinion on this. There is something I want to clarify.” She'd had a strange feeling ever since she read the report. The name of the planet sparked something within her and she didn't know what. Just an overwhelming feeling that she didn't want to go there.

Selmak nodded and then looked down for an instant before looking up. “Hey kiddo,” she said using Jacob's voice. “How you doing?”

“I'm fine Dad… you?”

“Tired, it's been a long few days. Selmak said you wanted to ask something.”

Sam nodded. “Yeah I've had a bad feeling ever since I read the report. I can't place it or work out why. It's like I've been there but I know I haven't.”

“Jolinar was there. She spent several weeks there undercover. That's another reason the council are requesting you be the team to go. They think with Jolinar's memories and experience you will be able to infiltrate the area much faster than someone who's never been there before.”

Sam nodded slowly. She twisted the pencil on the table turning it over end to end. “Yeah, but all I am getting is great unease. It's almost as if something or someone is telling me not to go.”

Selmak smiled at her. “It'll be fine Sammie,” she said still pretending to be Jacob. “We really do need this information.”

Jack looked at Sam. “Major if you don't want to go then stay here. The rest of us can go do it.”

Sam smiled at him. She wasn't about to be left behind. If her Dad said it was okay then it was okay. “Its fine Sir,” she said. “Dad says it's okay so it's okay.”

Jack nodded. “Anyone else have anything to add?”

The rest of them shook their heads.

Hammond looked at them. “Then go get kitted up. You gate out in an hour.” He looked at Selmak. “Jacob can I have a word?”

Selmak nodded; pleased she was pulling this off so well. She sat back in the chair and watched SG1 leave. Then she turned back to Hammond . “What's up George?”

Hammond looked down at the report then at the figure sat opposite him. “What's the real reason the council want to send SG1?”

“Like Selmak said, right now they are the best hope we have of finding out what Ashanti 's next move is.”

“Despite the risks?”

“They take risks every time they step through the gate.”

Hammond took a deep breath. “And what about Sam?”

“What about her?”

“You of all people know what happened the last time she tried accessing the memories Jolinar left behind. What if she can't recover this time?”

Selmak took a deep breath. “Samantha will be fine,” she said shortly, still using Jacob's voice. Did everyone have to disagree with her and the council on this point?

Hammond looked at her sharply. He'd never heard Jacob call his daughter that unless she was in big trouble, then like all parents he used her full name. “Good.” He looked down at his notes. “I did ask to speak to Jacob.”

Selmak forced a smile. “So what am I George? A clone or something?”

“No Selmak… can I please speak to Jacob?” Hammond 's tone left very little choice in the matter.

“He's sleeping... I did try to wake him, but he is too deeply asleep. I promise he does know about this mission and has no…” she paused.

Hammond just looked at her. “They are not going until you wake Jacob and let me talk to him,” he said slowly.

Selmak nodded reluctantly. <Don't you dare say anything to stop them going> she hissed. <You will say exactly what I tell you or you will be sorry.>

Jacob shook his head. <Kay.> He felt himself be pushed fore but he did not have full total control over his body like he normally did. Selmak still had motor control and some other functions as well. Like his breathing. “I'm here.”

Hammond looked at him. “Is everything okay Jake?” he asked concerned,

“Yeah,” Jacob said slowly. “Just very tired.” He flicked his eyes to the report. “Selmak and the council think that SG1 are the best choice for this mission.”

“What do you think?”

Jacob looked at him. <Don't send them> he screamed in his mind. <Too dangerous… smells like a trap… Sam can't use Jolinar's memories this time. Go with your gut instinct> but he was unable to say any of that. Instead he found his mouth forming other words. “We need the information and we don't have the people to send ourselves,” he replied. “SG1 can do this quickly and effectively with minimal risk.”

Hammond looked at him. “Risk?”

Selmak resumed control before Jacob managed to break free of the lock she had on him. She nodded the way Jacob would. “Isn't every mission a risk?” There was a pause then she added. "I would not send my daughter if I was unsure George."

He nodded. “Good enough.”

She followed Hammond to the gateroom where SG1 were waiting for them. As they walked down the stairs, Jacob fought desperately for control. <Let me speak to Sam> he begged. <Selmak please.>

 She looked at SG1. “The name of the man you need to contact on your arrival is Ethan.” Assuming Jacob's voice again, she hugged Sam. “Bye Sammie, take care.”

Sam hugged her back. “Bye Dad, we will.”

Jack nodded. “Okay.” The gate dialled out. “We'll see you in a few hours.” He followed the rest of SG1 up the ramp and through the event horizon.

Selmak looked at Hammond . “I must go back to the council now as we have another meeting scheduled.”

“Are you not waiting until they return?”

“No, Please advise us when they get back and one of us will return to debrief them.”

Hammond nodded and turned to the phone. “Dial the Tok'ra home world,” he said into it. Then he replaced the phone as the gate started turning. “Are you sure Jacob is alright?” he asked, concerned for his friend.

Selmak nodded. “He's fine,” she said. She watched as the gate activated and looked at Hammond . “Thank you General. Like I said someone will return to debrief SG1 upon their return.” Then walking up the ramp she stepped through.

--- --- --- --- --- ---

Jacob sat in his mind as Selmak said goodbye and left the SGC. He was in a total state of shock now. Selmak had not only shut him out she hadn't allowed him to say goodbye to his own daughter. They had just sent her on a dangerous mission, one she could be killed on and he wasn't even allowed to say goodbye to her. He always said goodbye.

He made sure he did, especially after that one time he hadn't done so. He had to leave in a hurry, the mission went badly wrong and he was injured. He barely made it back alive. He'd woken to find Alison sat by his side on the base. She hadn't left his side since he'd been airlifted back. He'd sworn then he would always say goodbye before he went away. Say goodbye and tell her how much he loved her. Another promise he'd broken.

He hadn't had chance to tell her how much he loved her before she died either. So he'd promised himself he always would with Sam once things were back on an even keel with her. And he hadn't done that either. She had been sent off to the other side of the galaxy and he hadn't even been allowed to say goodbye, never mind tell her that he loved her, that he always had loved her and always would. And for that he could never forgive Selmak. She had gone too far.

--- --- --- --- --- ---

Once on the base she headed back to the council. “They have gone,” she said. “We did not stay to see them return, my host was being too unreasonable for that. They should have arrived on Munoz Prime fifteen minutes ago.”

Garshaw nodded. “Good. We have arranged for transport from there for them.”

Selmak nodded. “That is good.”

Jacob looked up. <What transport? Transport to where?? Selmak what have you done?>

Selmak shook her head. <What we had to do> she replied.

<Let me talk to the council now.>

<In an hour or so.>

<No NOW!>

Selmak took a deep breath. “My apologies,” she said lowering her head slightly and letting her furious host fore.

Jacob glared at the council. “What the hell have you done?!” he yelled angrily. “What transport? A simple recon you said.”

Delek looked at him. “You gave the mission briefing to them.”

“Selmak did. She kept me a prisoner in my own body the whole time, not letting me hear what was going on. She even impersonated me to speak to my own daughter!”

Delek smiled. “That would not be the first time that has needed to be done and nor will it be the last. Suffice it to say that the information your daughter's team is retrieving is vital to our existence.”

Jacob slammed his hand down on the table. “If that is the way you act then perhaps you all deserve to die out! Selmak acted like a Goa'uld the whole damn time. I had no control what so ever, and the five minutes I was fore, she was threatening to cut off my air supply if I so much as said a word wrong.”

Delek raised an eyebrow. “And your point is?”

Jacob snarled at him. “My point is I don't want to be part of something that resembles the Goa'uld anymore!” He took a deep breath. “You lot have never been happy with me as Selmak's host anyway have you?”

There was silence.

“HAVE YOU???” he yelled. He looked closely at their faces. “You'd probably be pleased if I told you to find her a new host.”

The council looked at each other, their eyes lighting up slightly.

Jacob saw their reactions and pushed aside the stab of rejection he felt. “Forget it!” he muttered. He turned and left the chamber, running hard down the tunnels to the rings. He ignored Selmak completely. Ringing up to the surface he ran across the desert sand trying to work through in his mind what he wanted to do next.

Half an hour later he went back to his quarters. <Well?> he demanded.

<Well what?> Selmak said.

<Am I going to find out what you and the rest of the council are hiding?>

<You were the one not paying attention again> she sniped back at him.

<You are the one shielding the memories of at least an hour of that meeting!> he said harshly. <Not to mention hiding the briefing you gave SG1.>

Selmak shrugged. <Maybe you should pay more attention then.>

Jacob scowled. <You've always been cagey over certain things but never to this extent. Why won't you tell me what's really going on? That's my daughter you just sent out there.>

Jacob sat up straight. <What the hell are you talking about?>

<Best you don't know.>

<Selmak???>

Selmak shut herself off, burying the memories so far down that Jacob would never find them.

<Fine> he whispered. <If that's the way you want it. So much for a partnership.>

< You're the one who won't let me from take care of my own body at times!!>

<Well if you stopped thinking like a woman occasionally and thought like a man then maybe I would let you shave and bathe and so on!>

Selmak snorted. <Well I can't help it if you take comments I make the wrong way> she said.

Jacob shook his head. <And just how am I meant to take the personal comments you make ALL the time??> he demanded. <It's not like I can just leave the room is it?? You come too. And you never shut up. You bitch and moan the whole time!>

Selmak growled at him. <Do not! Besides you hum all the time. You have any idea how annoying that is?? Not to mention you never wash the back of your neck properly.>

Jacob rolled his eyes. Not this again. <And just how do I not do it properly?>

<A 2 minute stand under a hot shower is not bathing properly!> she said pushing the point home again.

<So are you going to tell me or not??> Jacob asked, going back to his original question.

Selmak remained silent for a while. After all SG1 had gone now and it was too late to recall them . Then she spoke quietly <It was for your own good, why can't you just accept that? Accept that there are some things you're better off not knowing. By now Samantha will know if the recall worked. There was a chance that it wouldn't have being that Jolinar was dead, but the council is banking on the fact that it would still be there. Or that some remnant of it would be.>

<Selmak> Jacob growled threateningly.

She sighed. <Yes I did show you some of what Jolinar went through with Dante; Dante being the minor lord loyal to Ashanti in charge of Munoz Prime. Showed you how he tortured her for a week before he finally got information out of her.> She paused. <What I didn't tell you was that Jolinar was then forced into service as his handmaiden, which as every Tok'ra knows really means concubine. She had spent five weeks in serving him as his…>

Jacob cut her off feeling sick at the thought of any woman being forced into what effectively boiled down to prostitution. 

Selmak continued slowly. <Even a hundred years as Martouf and Lantash's lover could not fully erase the awful memories of those five weeks. If you had known about this you would have forced yourself fore and said something despite my warnings to stop Samantha from going.>

<Damn right I would have…> Jacob managed, blistering anger filling him. <And what's this about a recall device??>

<Ummm yeah….> Selmak paused.

Jacob scowled at her. <Explain now!>

<Well… The more I think about it the more I wonder if the recall device that Dante planted into Jolinar would have survived the change of host and if it had, would it have imprinted itself onto Samantha's mind? If so then she will now be serving Dante as his handmaiden until the task is completed. The task which Jolinar began so many years ago which Samantha has to complete. This was why it had to be SG1, why it had to be Samantha. They would never have let her go alone...>

Selmak backed off as an overwhelming wave of sheer unadulterated anger filled her host, directed solely at her. <YOU DID WHAT???> Jacob yelled. <YOU SENT MY DAUGHTER TO BE A… HOW COULD YOU?!>

<It was a risk… but one we thought worth taking. We Need the information Jacob… we had no choice.>

Jacob couldn't believe what he was hearing. <DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!> he yelled.

Selmak did a double take. <What?>

<You heard. You sold my daughter down the river Selmak! You and your snake friends. And don't tell my you are not snakes! You are not who I thought you were!> Jacob paused, so angry now he was pacing furiously. <You sold her out and hung her up to dry. What you did was despicable. You LIED to me and to SG1. You made ME lie to them.>

Jacob smashed his hands into the walls in horror. <Dammit! You even used my voice to tell Sam it was okay and safe to go! That's why she went!> He leaned heavily against the wall. <Sam is in hell and it's my fault.>

<Jacob please… it's not your…>

< SHUT THE HELL UP ! You have done enough you hear me. ENOUGH !! You wouldn't even let me speak to my own daughter! Or say goodbye to her!> He paused. <Perhaps it IS time you found a new host.>

Selmak looked up slightly. <A new host?> she repeated.

Jacob rolled his eyes. < Are you deaf as well as ignorant, stupid and selfish??? Yes a new host. One who isn't foisted on you because you are dying! One who you won't have to control the whole time! One who'll tow the party line and do what they are told. One who doesn't find what you do abhorrent! Because if you think so little of people as to sell them into slavery there is nothing to stop you from selling me like that to one of the female system lords…>

<Don't tempt me! It might loosen you up a little!>

<Don't even go there. Bad enough you did that to Sam and for that you are gonna pay.>

<Sounds good to me!> Selmak hissed. <Perhaps you are right. A break is what we need. A permanent one!>

<Then we go do it now!> Jacob said. He got to his feet and headed angrily back through the tunnels and into the council chambers.

Garshaw and Delek were in mid debate in front of the whole council as Jacob stormed in. She looked at him, knowing who was fore. “Jacob what can I do for you now?”

“I want Selmak removed! Now!” he said deliberately.

Delek found it hard to contain the smile that spread over his face. “You want Selmak removed?” he repeated.

Jacob looked at him. “That is what I said,” he snapped, wondering if all the Tok'ra were inherently deaf or just plain rude.

“Why?” Garshaw asked.

“I think you know the answer to that one!”

“Enlighten us,” she said indicating the rest of the council.

Jacob looked round the council table. Every face had barely contained excitement in their eyes at the thought of finally getting rid of the Tau'ri thorn in the flesh. That just made him feel all the more unwanted and convinced he was doing the right thing. “Irreconcilable differences,” he said. “Selmak is behaving more like a Goa'uld than a Tok'ra. Infact you all are.”

He looked at them. “You promise full disclosure and then you make excuses and don't explain. This is meant to be a partnership. You say we have an equal say in what goes on, in the use of the body… but only when it suits you! When was the last time we saw Delek's host fore at any time! Jared has his reasons for letting Malek remain in control and to be honest I don't blame him in the slightest. If you sell out your allies as easily as you seem to… what will you do to one of your own?”

Garshaw looked at him. “I'm sorry?”

“ YOU SOLD SAM TO THE GOA'ULD !!” Jacob yelled.

“Ah,” Garshaw said. ” Selmak told you then?”

Jacob ignored her. “I'm going after her.”

Delek looked at him. “You will not! Going after her now could result in her death!”

“ WHAT?? ” <SELMAK??>

<Ummm yeah there is that> she whispered.

“Didn't Selmak tell you that part?” Delek smirked. “Bring her back too soon and she will die. They need at least a week to complete the mission. Give her time to settle into her new role. She may even enjoy it.”

“ You son of a snake !” Jacob yelled. He leapt across the table and floored Delek with a swift left hook and then started to throttle him.

Two of the guards pulled him off.

Delek stood up and straightened his collar shaking his head slightly.

Jacob shook the guards off and paused slightly in his tirade, glaring at Delek. “I have no wish to be party to this kind of behaviour anymore. You are as arrogant and self seeking as those you claim to be fighting.” He looked at them. “You have made no effort to hide the fact you would love to have a new host for Selmak. You have been looking for an excuse to find her one for years. Well I am making it easy for you. I want her removed. Now.”

Delek looked at Garshaw triumphantly and then back at Jacob. “It will be my pleasure to arrange a new host,” he said. “It may however take a few days to find one.”

“Find one you approve of you mean!” Jacob huffed. “While you are doing that, I have 2 requests.”

“You are hardly in a position …” Delek began.

“Shut the hell up!” Jacob yelled. “We do this on my terms or not at all. I can easily get the surgeons at the SGC to cut her out which will certainly end in her death!”

Delek rose to his feet, anger blazing from his eyes.

Garshaw laid a hand on Delek's arm. “Let him speak. As Selmak's current host he has that right.”

Delek looked at her and reluctantly nodded slightly.

Jacob looked at Garshaw. “I would like to spend the few days it will take you to find Selmak's new host on Earth.”

“That is not normal procedure,” Delek began.

Jacob ignored him. “I would also like to speak with Malek or at least get a message to him and Jared.”

Garshaw nodded. “We can arrange that.”

Delek eyed Jacob. “And what of Selmak? What does she want?”

Selmak pushed herself fore. “The sooner the better,” she said. “The situation is now untenable. I no longer wish to keep him as my host.” She looked at Delek. “In fact being put into a stasis tank while you find a new host would be preferable to this.”

Delek looked at her. “As much as I would like to honour your request we can not do that. He wants to go to Earth. We can not allow him to speak to the people at the SGC and sent a team after SG1 just yet.”

“Then what do you suggest?” Selmak asked.

Delek thought for a moment then conferred quietly with Garshaw who nodded. He then looked at Selmak. “There is a way,” he said. “Amphiprozole.”

<What's that?> Jacob asked.

Selmak looked at Delek. “Amphiprozole…” she repeated.

“It is the only way for this to be accomplished other than stasis which is not an option.”

Selmak nodded, ignoring him. “Very well. Then the drugs will have to suffice. I will go to the healing chambers now. Please hurry with the new host. And make it a woman this time. You have no idea how difficult it is being a man.” She looked at Delek. “Well maybe you do.”

Garshaw smiled slightly. She had been both and also preferred a female host. “We'll do what we can.”

Selmak nodded her thanks and left the room, aware of Delek following her.

Selmak slowly made her way through the tunnels to the healing chambers. She tried to think of the good times she and Jacob had had but could think of none. She was too angry to see any of pleasant memories they had even though they were there within her mind. She couldn't understand why he was being so overprotective of his daughter when he knew she risked her life on a regular basis! Heck, he had even fought beside her during a couple of dangerous missions. And never mind how hurt Selmak felt when he suggested a new host for her, she was never going to let him feel how much that hurt…not now, not ever!

Selmak reached the healing chambers and explained to the healer on duty what she needed. Surprised by the request the healer looked at Delek for confirmation. Having got that, she did as Selmak asked and turned to prepare the cocktail of drugs that she and Jacob would need. “This will force you into an almost dormant state,” she told Selmak. “You will be able to communicate with Jacob but unable to come fore or help him in any way while you are taking it.”

Selmak nodded. “I see. How do I work the dosage?”

The healer looked at her. “Ten cc every six hours should do it,” she said as she gave Selmak the first shot. She followed it up with another two. “These should kick start things off for you.” She glanced at Delek but didn't say anything more.

Selmak nodded wincing slightly. “And if I should want to come fore?”

“Then stop taking it. However that will take several hours without the antidote which is only available under supervision.”

Selmak nodded. “Understood. But that will not be necessary. I will return when the new host is ready.” She took the vials and syringes and placed them in the case, sliding them into her pack. She then left the room.  she snapped.

<Of course!> Jacob snapped back. 

<Fine. Can I trust you not to say anything to General Hammond when we arrive on Earth?>

Jacob didn't respond.

<Hmmm, I thought not. Then either I pretend to be you or I keep tight hold on you until we leave the SGC.>

Jacob shrugged. He'd expected nothing less than that anyway. <Do what you want… you always do.>

Selmak ringed up to the surface and then over to the gate.

Jacob looked at the gate through her eyes. 

<Maybe General Hammond would send it> Selmak said knowing how well her host got on with Malek and Jared. They were probably the only true friends he had amongst the Tok'ra. The only ones who had stood by them all these years.

<Maybe> Jacob answered,

Selmak dialled the gate and sent the GDO signal as soon as it was open. Then she let Jacob fore. <One false move…> she warned him.

He nodded and stepped through the gate to find Hammond waiting on the other side.

Hammond looked at him concerned. “Jacob?” he asked. “Is everything alright?”

Jacob nodded. “Yes everything's fine. I have a few things to do here for a few days. I'll be at Mark's. You'll let me know when Sam gets back.”

Hammond nodded. “Of course… we had a message just before you arrived. Colonel O'Neill thinks it'll be a few days.”

Jacob nodded. “Okay. I must go and arrange a flight. Could you get a message to Malek for me?”

“Sure.” Hammond looked worriedly at Jacob, who looked pale and sick. ”Are you sure you're alright?”

Jacob looked at him. “To be honest I have felt better. I'll let you have that letter for Malek. If it could be delivered by hand directly to him I would appreciate it.”

Hammond nodded. “Sure. Write it in my office and I'll send SG4 with it. And I'll arrange a flight from Peterson for you. Call it a training exercise.”

Jacob wrote the letter to Malek and then watched as SG4 left to give it to him. Then a car drove him to Peterson for his flight to San Diego . He'd rung Mark to tell him he was coming early so they wouldn't be totally shocked when he arrived.

--- --- --- --- ---

Jacob spent the flight from Peterson with his eyes closed. He never could sleep on a plane, probably had something to do with him being a pilot. He was aware of every tiny air pocket the plane hit, every course correction the pilot made and could even tell how high they were if he looked out of the window.

Having borrowed a staff car from the base Jacob drove to Mark's house slowly. Both Mark and Laura were shocked to see how pale he looked. He assured them it was just stress and all he needed was rest. He was actually feeling incredibly sick now, but wasn't going to say anything. It probably was stress and worry and guilt.

Selmak withdrew, feeling the drugs beginning to take effect. She could still talk to her host but chose not to right now as she wanted as little to do with him as possible. She still couldn't believe he wanted to get rid of her. Besides she wasn't allowed fore with his family anyway. They didn't know she existed. And soon she wouldn't. She'd just be another of his classified memories filed away never to be talked about again.

Likewise Jacob ignored Selmak. He was never going to let her feel how hurt he was by the gleeful faces on the council when he suggested that they find a new host for her. And he could never forgive her for what she had done and if anything happened to Sam, she and the Tok'ra would pay for it. He would keep dosing himself with the meds the healer had given him, just wanting a swift end to this. The dosage seemed a little much to him, but that was what they had said. He just wished he didn't feel quite so sick now. First vacation in months and he got sick to his stomach.

After he'd been in San Diego for just over a day, Jacob came out of the bathroom to find Mark standing there. He felt lousy having just thrown up again for the third time that day and it was barely 2pm .

His son looked at him worriedly. “You okay Dad?”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah, I'm alright.”

“Laura was wondering if it was her cooking that's making you sick like this.”

Jacob shook his head. “No… I love her cooking you know that. Highlight of my visit after those grandkids of mine.”

Mark smiled. “Yeah, so what is it then? You've been under the weather since you got here.”

“It's just a touch of stomach flu probably. It will pass. I might just go rest for a bit.”

Mark nodded. “Sure Dad.” He watched his father go and then went back downstairs. He looked at Laura. “He says its nothing,” he said quietly. “Don't believe him for a second but nothing I can do.” He wrapped his arms around his wife and held her tightly, watching the children through the kitchen window. “Cept be here for him.”

Jacob headed to his room and lay down on the bed on his side staring out of the window. He could hear the children calling to each other in the back yard as it was a weekend. Sunday he thought, he wasn't sure anymore. Days of the week really didn't seem to matter when you didn't live on Earth. That however would soon change as he was moving back home. Alone. He was still angry with Selmak for what she had done that at times it was hard to see past that.

He was also hurt that she didn't trust him with what had happened to Jolinar and that she felt it necessary to lie. He wondered what was so bad that she hadn't wanted him to know, so when she slept that night he tried to access more of those memories but she kept them locked down and out of reach. He was also hurt over the fact she pretended to be him and effectively went Goa'uld on him. Then that thought just made angry again. Too angry to want to talk to her or even be with her. So angry that he didn't get to talk to his little girl and tell her how much he loved her before she left.

He knew he didn't look good over the next day or so as Mark and Laura kept trying to get him to either go see the doc on the local AF base or to go and see their local doc. Each time he refused, saying he was just tired and needed to rest. In truth he knew he was reacting to the drugs he was taking but he could hardly out and say that. They were making him physically sick several times a day now.

He spent each day that hoping that the SGC would ring with the message from the Tok'ra recalling him for the separation. Or that they would ring and say Sam was back from this mission. The longer it went on for the more worried he got.

Selmak moved slightly as this thought passed though their mind. She wasn't sure she wanted a new host after all. She was stubborn and angry and hurt yes, but so was he. They had had their disagreements and arguments in the past. Lots of them, but they always made it up. Despite all her moaning and winding him up, Jacob did look after her. Her first male host and not that bad even if he did hate baths.

She reached out for him as they lay in bed on the third day they were in San Diego . <Jacob please…> she whispered. <Can't we work this out?>

<Work what out?> he asked. <Nothing to work out.> He felt lousy and was trying not to move as that only made it worse.

Selmak perked up slightly. <Does that mean the separation is off?> she asked. <It's not too late… we can get through this I know we can.>

<And why would I want to spend eternity with someone I can't trust?> Jacob said harshly. <You lied to me Selmak. Made me lie to Sam. Sent her off on that damn mission and made it out like I agreed with her. I can't forgive you for that.>

<But I thought…> she began.

Jacob sat up slowly. <Just shut up and leave me alone.> He pulled the case across the night table and pulled out the next dosage. 

<You really want rid of me?>

<Yes!>

<Okay fine.> Selmak pulled back again.

--- --- --- ---

Despite what his father had said, his sickness didn't pass and Mark got more concerned as his father just seemed to get worse as the days went by. He put on a show of being okay but he wasn't. He didn't have the energy to go running after the kids like he normally did and in between bouts of throwing up he would sit and rest or even sleep. He no longer even pretended to eat, just picked at the food Laura offered him.

Mark wondered if the cancer was back and his Dad just wasn't saying so. He and Laura tried several times to call Sam to ask her to make sure she got Dad to the infirmary when he got back to work, but she was never around. He left several messages asking her to call back. He had been going to confront him again anyway but now he had to.

He looked down at the case Laura had found this morning when vacuuming in Jacob's room. Not normally one to pry, she was concerned about her father-in-law as well and finding a case full of needles and vials of some kind of drug just made her worry even more. With the children around she kept all meds locked away and these were just lying on the floor.

For the sake of his children now something had to be done. Although he wasn't looking forward to doing so. For one thing it was invasion of privacy, which he knew Dad would hate. And for another the boot was really on the other foot with this one.

--- --- --- --- ---

Mark had come home from school one afternoon when he was 16 to find his father sitting in the kitchen with a face as black as thunder. “Dad,” he said slinging his bag on the floor and pulling the juice from the fridge. As usual he drank straight from the bottle. “You're early.”

Jacob just looked at him and flung the packet on the table.

His son at least had the decency to colour a little Jacob noticed as he tried to reach them. “Where the hell did they come from?” he demanded.

“I…” Mark began.

“Empty your bag and pockets,” he ordered.

Mark glared at him. “I am not one of your airmen you can just order around!” he yelled.

“DO AS YOU ARE TOLD!” Jacob barked harshly. He grabbed the bag off the floor and tipped it onto the table finding another packet of cigarettes and a lighter. “Well?” he demanded. He folded his arms and looked at him, a tactic he used on insubordinate officers on the base.

Mark stood there defiantly for a couple of minutes. “Everyone's doing it,” he muttered sulkily. “It's cool and the girls like it. Makes you look like an adult.”

“It's disgusting!” Jacob told him. “There is nothing cool about smoking!”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing you'll enjoy!” Jacob said slowly. He moved over to Mark and made him sit down before handing him a saucer and the packets of cigarettes. “You think this makes you a man huh? Well go on then… start smoking and don't stop until I tell you too!!”

--- --- ---- -- ---

Mark sat on the top stair remembering how his father had made him smoke the entire two packets one after the other and how sick he'd got from doing so. It'd had the desired effect as he had never smoked since nor did he wish to. He looked up as the bathroom door opened, jerked out of his reverie.

Jacob sighed as he saw him sitting there.

“Dad,” Mark said getting up. “This has gone on long enough. Stomach flu doesn't last this long. Maybe you should see the doc. There's the one at the local base or I can get you into see our doc at his office. Hell he'd even come out if you want.”

“No!” Jacob said sharply. He shook his head. “No,” he said again, gentler this time. “I know what it is.”

Mark looked at him. “Is the cancer back?” he asked quietly.

“No,” Jacob said. “It'll pass I promise. But I don't need to see a doctor.”

“Well I think you do. Dad if you were one of the kids I would have had you there days ago.”

“Then you'd have wasted his time,” Jacob said. “Look son, I don't want to argue with you. I'm fine…”

Mark laughed slightly. “Dad you're not fine. Even Jen was asking if you are okay. She doesn't want you to die anymore than the rest of us do.”

Jacob took a deep breath. “I am not going to die, I promise you that.”

Mark nodded then held out the case. “So what's this?”

Jacob snatched it off him. “Where the hell did you find that?”

“Laura found it on the floor in your room when she was vacuuming. Dad what meds are they and what are they for?” Mark asked in the same tone of voice.

“None of your concern!” Jacob snapped back.

“You left them where the kids could find them Dad. That makes it my business.”

Jacob pulled himself up to his full height. The last thing he wanted was for the truth to come out like this. “I did not leave them where the kids would find them. They at least know NOT to touch things that aren't theirs!”

Mark looked down. “Dad we are just worried about you.”

Jacob took a deep breath. “I know… but really I am fine.”

“So what are the drugs for?”

Jacob looked at him. “You're not gonna give up are you?”

Mark shook his head. “I wouldn't be your son if I did. Please Dad, just level with me here.”

“It's classified,” Jacob said slowly. “The last mission I was on had some unforeseen side effects. Hence the throwing up and these meds. I will be fine, I promise.”

Mark nodded and watched his father head slowly back to his room. He'd aged about 10 years in the four days since he'd arrived.

The following morning Mark rang the base again just after 10am, once more asking for Sam. This time her CO General Hammond, better known to him as Uncle George, had taken the call and asked outright if everything was okay. Mark had hesitated for just a fraction of a second before saying he was worried about Dad and thought maybe Sam should come down as soon as possible.

Hammond immediately concerned for Jacob's wellbeing, had asked a few more questions and then said he would get hold of Sam. He'd wanted to speak to Jacob, but Mark had said he was too ill to come to the phone. Which was true as Jacob was currently throwing up in the downstairs bathroom. When Hammond heard about the drugs and the side effects from the last mission he was even more concerned and intended to contact Malek as well.

So when Laura came in with the phone just after 3pm he had fully expected the call to be Hammond telling him Sam was on her way. Already pale, the call took away the last remnants of his father's colour, so much so that Mark honestly expected him to pass out. Then his world seemed to slow and stop as he heard his father say “It's Sam… There's been an accident… she's missing presumed dead.”

--- --- --- --- ---

Selmak had spent the last four days trying to get her head round the way things had gone so wrong so fast. Jacob wanted to get rid of her. She kept trying to talk to him, to tell him not to, that she was sorry, but he didn't listen, just kept taking the drugs so she stopped trying. She was angry that the past few years had come to this. That after all they had been through he was going to throw it away over a small misunderstanding. She was hurt too. He was so angry at her for not being honest and for sending Sam to that planet. But it wasn't just her. The entire council had agreed that it was the only way. As indeed it was. She just hoped the risks outweighed the possible repercussions.

Losing her host over this was bad enough. And that was one thing she hadn't foreseen happening. Although thinking about it the Tau'ri had different attitudes to women and sex than the Tok'ra did. Being taken as handmaiden when you went undercover was a chance every Tok'ra woman took. She knew her host would disagree strongly on that point. He hadn't even taken a mate, never mind kissed anyone since they'd been blended.

He'd made some comment about how sex was a private affair between two people, and he definitely wasn't doing it without a door or with someone in his head, cheering him on or making rude comments about his technique! So the idea of a Tok'ra trading sex for information or even sleeping with a system lord because she had been ordered too, would no doubt disgust him. The prospect of Sam having to do this would do more than disgust him. There is no way in hell, as her host would put it that he, SG1 or Hammond would allow it. Infact all of them would die before they let Sam be used or abused in that way.

The problem was the information they needed could only be obtained while he was sleeping and the only way to guarantee being in his quarters when he was sleeping was after he'd sated himself. The files they needed just weren't out of his sight otherwise. Or off his person to be more precise. This was why she had kept certain aspects from him before SG1 left and why she had to do the briefing herself. She understood Jacob's anger when he found out that's what Jolinar had been made to do and when the penny dropped that Samantha would be expected to possibly take her place, to continue her mission he just flipped.

She and her host did have one thing in common however. They were both very stubborn and very proud people. And neither would be willing to apologise or wave the white flag first. It had been such a small fight initially, over something as insignificant as a bath versus a shower and it had turned into her needing a new host. How could things have gone so wrong and turned into her committing what to him was the unforgivable sin. What would he do if he found out she too had done what Jolinar had done and what she had sent Sam to do if needed? Perhaps it would be best if he never did.

--- --- --- ---

Back to present day.

Jacob and Mark stood there trying to comfort each other. Jacob looked at him. “I have to go back,” he said.

“Let me come with you,” Mark asked.

Jacob looked at him. “You can't,” he said gently. “I'm based there so I can get in. I promise I will keep in contact and as soon as I know anything I will let you know. Stay here with Laura and the children.”

Mark nodded reluctantly. “But you're sick Dad.”

Jacob hugged him again tightly. “I'll be fine I promise. The base doc can check me over when I get there.”

Mark nodded and then turned to his wife and hugged her tightly as she wept in his arms. This was so unfair. He'd wasted so many years hating his father and sister and now he had them back he was losing them both.

Half an hour later after promising to ring as soon as he got there and then when he had more news, Jacob left Mark's house for the base where his plane was waiting. He turned his thoughts inward. < YOU …> he began, his first word to her in a couple of days being a hate filled shout.

Selmak stirred; the drugs the Tok'ra had given her making her feel worse than she had thought they would do. In truth the only thing they should have done was induce an almost dormant state, just preventing her from coming fore. <What did I do now?> she asked.

<YOU DAMN SON OF A SNAKE!!!> Jacob yelled furiously. <Sam's Dead and it's ALL YOUR FAULT !!!>

<What?> Selmak whispered, not having been listening.

Jacob shook his head. <Maybe you should pay more attention> he said snidely. <Or have you been sleeping the past few days??>

<Don't start on me again!> Selmak said struggling to wake slightly. <Why do you feel so sick?>

<Like you care!> Jacob yelled. 

Selmak shook her head. <You shouldn't be allergic to them at all… but what about Sam? Dead?>

<Missing presumed dead… apparently only one of SG1 returned. George didn't say who but he's not happy.>

<And the rest?>

<Also missing presumed killed. No sign of them at all. He's had search parties out all day.>

<He's WHAT???> Selmak shrieked.

Jacob checked into the base and handed over the keys to the car. He tuned Selmak out for a bit while he boarded his flight and settled back into his seat, hoping he could keep from throwing up for the three to four hours the flight would take. <You heard> he said slowly as the plane took off. He swallowed hard feeling like he wanted to throw up again. <Can't you do something here?>

Selmak shook her head. <No… the drugs prevent it, you know that. Besides I don't feel that great.>

Jacob unbuckled his belt and ran to the small bathroom making it just in time. Afterwards he rinsed his face in the small sink and looked at his face in the mirror.  he whispered. <Feel worse.>

<It should not be this way> Selmak said.

<Well that's a comforting thought!> Jacob snapped. <Makes me feel a whole heap better!>

He made his way slowly back to his seat. Sitting down he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. He only opened his eyes when a voice said “Sir?”

“Lieutenant?” he asked looking at the petite blonde standing over him. <She looks like Sam> he thought.

“Are you alright Sir?”

Jacob nodded. “A touch of stomach flu,” he said. “It'll pass.”

She nodded. “If you need anything just shout.”

He nodded. “Thank you.” He closed his eyes again, willing the flight over so he could go and find Sam.

< We go find Sam> Selmak said slowly. <But first we go find a healer to give us the antidote to this.>

Jacob sat up slightly in his mind. <We?> he asked.

 Selmak said. <It is only right that I should go and help search for her. Plus you will need me to help you recover from what the drugs have done to you. Again my fault.>

<What about the separation?>

<That can be set aside until Sam and SG1 are back and safe> Selmak said. <Priorities have changed somewhat. Yes?>

Jacob got up hurriedly making another dash for the bathroom, the slight turbulence making the sickness worse. He leaned over the sink rinsing his face once the heaves had subsided. <Times like this I wish I could sleep on a plane> he commented.

<Sorry> Selmak whispered. She felt pretty bad herself and not just for putting Jacob through this. She could feel the emotions pouring through him and mixed with how physically unwell he felt, he really did feel like hell. She tried to comfort him and was surprised when he didn't totally push her away.

He slowly returned to his seat to find the lieutenant waiting for him.

“I'm fine,” he whispered looking at the glass she was holding.

“It's just something to settle your stomach a little Sir,” she said quietly. “I hate feeling sick when I fly.”

Jacob took the glass gratefully. “Its worse when you're a pilot,” he said quietly. “Normally I'm fine.”

The lieutenant nodded. “I understand Sir.” She left him once he had drunk the glassful taking the empty glass away with her.

The rest of the journey seemed endless. Finally the plane landed and Jacob disembarked gratefully, thanking the lieutenant for her kindness. He made his way to the front desk of the base to request a car to find one of the SGC officers waiting for him. He stood and saluted him. “General Hammond sent me to take you to the base General,” he said.

Jacob nodded and followed him out to the car. They had to stop twice during the 20 minute drive from Peterson. Each time Jacob was horrendously embarrassed at having to ask but it was better than puking in the car. The airman looked at Jacob. “Maybe you should see Doc Fraiser Sir,” he said cautiously. It seemed more than just travel sickness to him as the General looked like hell.

Jacob nodded slowly. “Maybe I will,” he said. He normally would have knocked back a comment like that but he felt so lousy he knew George would send him anyway, so it may as well be voluntary.

They arrived at the base and Jacob reluctantly made his way, with help, to the front desk. He signed in and almost collapsed as another wave of nausea flooded him.

The airman with him got him to a chair as the guard at the desk rang the infirmary.

Jacob tried to protest but found things starting to fade. The last thing he was aware of was Janet leaning over him and then nothing.

--- --- ---- --- ---

It was two hours before he woke and another hour after that before he could even ask Janet to let him get up and go to see Hammond as the nausea was back full force. “You are sick General,” she chided him. “And I don't know why Selmak can't handle it.”

Jacob looked at her. “I know why Selmak can't handle it,” he said slowly. “And the only way to solve that is for me to get to Malek's base.” He took a deep breath. “And I can't do that til I have spoken to George and found out about Sam.”

Janet looked at him. “I'll get General Hammond to come here and see you.” She pulled the curtains from around the bed. “Meanwhile you just rest.”

Jacob watched her go and leaned back against the pillows closing his eyes. He wasn't sure how long had passed before a voice called his name.

“General Carter?”

Jacob opened his eyes to find Teal'c sitting next to the bed. He pushed himself up. “Teal'c? Have they found her?”

Teal'c shook his head. “No, they have not. SG7 are still searching their last known location but as yet there is nothing.”

The base alarms went off and the infirmary suddenly sprung to life as the words “Medical team to the gateroom. Incoming wounded,” echoed round.

Jacob tried to get up but that only made the nausea worse. “It could be Sam,” he managed.

Teal'c pushed him back onto the bed. “Then they will bring her here,” he said. “Along with the other members of SG1.”

The ten minutes before the medical teams arrived with the gurney's seemed like ten hours, but Sam was not one of the injured. Hammond came in to the room and went straight over to Jacob's bed. He looked at Teal'c and shook his head slightly. “Will you give us a few minutes?” he asked. He watched as Teal'c nodded and got up. Then he looked at Jacob. “How are you doing?”

“I'm fine. What about Sam?”

Hammond looked at him concerned. “Nothing yet. But I asked about you. You don't look so good. Mark says you've been sick since you got to his place.”

Jacob rolled his eyes. “Oh he did, did he?” He paused. “He had no business doing so.”

“Jake he's concerned about you. Just like the rest of us are.” He looked over at Janet. “Doctor?”

Janet picked up the chart. “General Carter has a very high fever, vomiting, nausea, light headedness, lack of appetite…”

Jacob scowled. “I am here you know. And how do you expect me to eat when I am throwing up all the time?”

Janet looked at him. “About all I can tell you is it is not the cancer back again. What it is though I don't know. And as for these…” She produced the case from her pocket and held it up. “I have no idea what they are or what they do. I ran some tests on them and from the blood work I'd say you've been taking a fairly high dose for a few days now.”

Hammond looked at her and then at Jacob. “Jacob?” Mark had mentioned the drugs and also his worry over the cancer returning.

Jacob reached out for them. “They're mine.”

Janet held them just out of reach. “Not until you tell me what it is.”

Jacob. “Amphiprozole.”

Hammond looked at Janet. “Doctor?”

She shook her head. “Give me a minute.” She reached for the book on the side

Jacob looked at her. “You won't find it in any drug reference book Doc; it's one of the Tok'ra meds.”

“I didn't think the Tok'ra used drugs to treat anything,” Janet said slowly, flipping through the book anyway. Something about the name triggered something in her memory.

Jacob looked at her. “Sometimes we do. Like now.” He held his hand out for them. “I need them back.”

“Not until I know what they are, how long you have been taking them for and what they do.”

Jacob rolled his eyes. “The Tok'ra gave them to me… take it up with them.”

Hammond looked at him. “I would but they are refusing to answer any of my messages. It seems they are too busy right now. I find this surprising considering we were so important to them a few days ago. What exactly was that mission you sent them on?” He watched as Jacob's eyes clouded and he looked down, almost looking ashamed. “Jake?”

Jacob shook his head. “I can't,” he said. “I'm sorry George but it's classified. I have to go after her.”

Hammond shook his head. “Teal'c has been asking the same thing. I can't send anyone else after them. It's too dangerous.”

“Dammit George!” Jacob yelled pushing himself upright. “That's my daughter out there. I sent her. I have to go find her!”

“I know Jacob,” Hammond replied gently. “But you know the risks as well as I do. I'm sorry. Besides you are hardly in any condition to go traipsing round the galaxy. You heard Janet's report and if you are totally honest you know you are not well enough.”

Janet looked at him sternly. “You are not going anywhere until you answer my questions General,” she said knowing she outranked him here and knowing he knew that too.

Jacob sighed. “Like I said it's Amphiprozole. The dosage is ten cc every six hours.”

“Why?”

“After effects of a mission,” he said remembering what he had told Mark.” Then he looked at her. “Is that enough information Doctor?”

Janet looked at him. “Something tells me you only got sick after you started taking them. You've been on it how long?”

“Five days.”

Janet noted something on the chart. “And you've been sick for…”

“Five days. But like I said it's after effects of a mission.” Jacob ran a hand over his head. Then he looked at Hammond . “I have to go and find Sam.”

Hammond looked at him. “Jacob…”

“George,” Jacob countered. “Yes I am sick and as good a doctor as Janet is, the only thing that can heal either of us now is on the Tok'ra base. Please… You know whose fault this is as well as I do and I have to go deal with it. Send me back to the Tok'ra.”

Hammond nodded reluctantly. “Okay. But Teal'c goes with you.”

Jacob shook his head. “He can't. I have to go alone.”

Hammond sighed heavily and tried arguing. But as sick as his friend was he hadn't lost any of the stubbornness he was renowned for. “Okay,” he said finally. “You can go, but I want your word you will explain this at some point.”

Jacob nodded. “Of course.” He looked at Janet. “Can I have a word? In private?”

--- --- --- --- ---

Jacob sat in the council chambers and glared across the table at them. It was purely the stimulant that Janet had given him under protest that had keeping him going long enough to get this far, although it was now wearing off. “I hope you're satisfied,” he said having just brought them all up to speed with what was happening on Earth and with SG1. “I am going after her,” he insisted. “But first the removal process has to be halted temporarily. Selmak has to help put right the mess She caused.”

Garshaw looked at him. “You look sick. You are in no condition to go after anyone.”

Jacob scowled at her. “That's because I am allergic to the damn drugs you have us on. I need the antidote to whatever this poison is. I insist Selmak be given the treatment to halt the dormancy, until she has helped find SG1. It's what she wants.”

“Not possible,” Delek said. “You made your choice – both of you. The new host is ready for her.”

Jacob shook his head. “So once again I have to clear up your mess. Fine – damn the lot of you to hell. I quit.”

“You can't… not before Selmak is removed and placed in her new host,” Delek countered.

“Watch me!” Jacob yelled, storming towards the door.

Delek nodded to the guards who immediately took hold of Jacob and stopped him from leaving the room.

Despite feeling terrible, Jacob managed somehow to overpower both of the guards grabbing the zat of one of them. Then he felt pain shoot through him as Delek zatted him. He managed to get a shot off as he fell and took satisfaction in hearing Delek's cry of pain as it hit him.

He took a minute or too then pulled himself to his feet. “I am going to find my daughter without your help!” he said. He turned and left heading for the rings. He'd go to Malek's base. Each step was harder now and he used the tunnel walls to keep himself upright. <Selmak… please…> he whispered.

 she managed; now feeling just as sick and dizzy as her host.

The rings deposited Jacob on the surface and he barely managed to remain upright. He half walked half crawled to the gate and leaned heavily on the DHD as he dialled the address. Everything was swimming and he had no idea if he had dialled the correct co-ordinates or not. The gate kawooshed across the sand and Jacob slowly moved towards it. The sand may as well have been quicksand or lime as he had difficulty moving.

Each breath was a gasp now; his lungs seemed to be closing in on him. Finally he reached the event horizon and stepped through, losing consciousness almost instantaneously. He fell through the gate landing in a heap at the bottom of the steps on the other side. Had he been conscious he would have seen the three guns pointed at his prone figure, but he was out cold, as was Selmak.

One of the guards immediately dropped to his knees. “They're out cold,” he said after putting a hand on Jacob's neck. “I've only got a faint pulse here! We need to get them inside now!” He put away his zat and gently lifted the unconscious form into his arms and carried him to the rings. Once they were in the tunnels one of the other guards ran to warn the healers.

Malek, unaware of the events that were about to unfold or that his friend was in dire need, was in the middle of a meeting with his 2IC Matthias. He had received Jacob's letter almost a week ago now and had been greatly disturbed by it. He had wanted to leave immediately for Earth to go and see him, but all hell had broken loose on the base and it had taken several days to calm the situation down sufficiently for him to even be able to contemplate leaving for a day or two. It wasn't that he didn't trust Matthias because he did which was why he'd made him 2IC in the first place; it simply wasn't in his nature to leave his post when he was needed.

Now that things had calmed down, he could finally take a day or two to go and visit Jacob on Earth and find out for himself what the letter had meant. If he'd read it correctly, then Jacob was giving up Selmak. The most recent message from Earth that Jacob was sick had him concerned too and gave him more reason to go visit. If ever his friend needed him, it was now. He was making the final arrangements to go when Aldwin came rushing into the room. “What is it?” Malek asked, seeing the urgency written on Aldwin's normally calm face.

“Jacob came through the gate and collapsed. They have taken him to the healing chambers. Both his and Selmak's life signs are very weak.”

Malek got up. “I'm coming.” He looked at Matthias. “Contact the SGC again; I want Jacob's medical records here now!” He ran from the room, feeling the worry echoing from his host.  he whispered to Jared as he ran.

 Jared whispered. <Thought you guys could cure anything.>

Malek nodded. <We can. Which is why I don't understand.>

The healing chamber was a hive of activity. Malek couldn't see Jacob at first when he ran into the chamber. He stood there for a moment then moved further into the room. “Where is he?” he asked no one person in particular.

It was Elise who turned to him. “Malek,” she said, her usually impassive face a torrent of concern and emotion.

Malek moved over to her. “What is it?” he asked. He looked past her at the pale figure on the cold stone table. Jacob's clothes lay in a pile on the floor where they had been cut off and tossed aside and a blanket had been pulled up to his hips to preserve his dignity.

Jared shuddered glad Malek was fore, as his legs would have buckled beneath him. <Mal… he looks dead…>

Malek nodded his agreement. “He's not…” he managed.

Elise shook her head. “No… they are not dead. Not yet, however it is still to close to call one way or the other.” She paused looking at Malek. “There is no easy way to say this… They have taken an overdose.”

Malek took the pad she held out to him, shock resonating through him. “Overdose?” he asked aloud at the same time Jared whispered <Overdose?> Malek shook his head then asked “What? Are you sure? What did they take?”

Elise nodded. “There is a huge quantity of amphiprozole in both his and Selmak's system.”

Malek looked at her. “What?” he asked again, ignoring the fact he probably sounded like a broken record. Bits of the letter he'd read floated back into his mind.

Elise looked at the scanner in her hand frowning over it. “I don't see why they are taking the amphiprozole in the first place, never mind taking an overdose of it.”

Malek took a deep breath. “From what little I know he and Selmak were having a disagreement,” he said figuring that much she had a right to know that much. “Perhaps one of them thought it best for now.”

She nodded slowly, wondering what else he knew that she didn't, but wasn't about to ask. If he felt she needed to know then he would tell her. He was vastly different to the other base commanders in that respect. He would give his staff relevant information rather than keeping everything close to his chest and letting them figure it out for themselves. One reason why not many Tok'ra transferred out from under his command.

Elise looked at him. “Maybe,” she said bringing her mind back to her patient. “But if you were intending to kill yourself, there are far more effective ways to do it… throw yourself into an opening Chappa'ai for example. And with a drug overdose amphiprozole isn't the one to take. It simply forces the symbiote into an almost dormant state and is only to be given under certain conditions. And then only if monitored closely.”

Malek looked at her. “Monitored how?”

“One of the healers has to administer each dose and under controlled circumstances.”

“Jacob has been on Earth for the past week. No one has been monitoring it at all. I got a message from the SGC about two hours ago saying he was sick and in their infirmary.”

Elise looked at him. “Can I have a copy of his medical records?”

“They are on the way now.”

She nodded. “Good.” She looked back at the scanner. “But this just doesn't add up.”

“In what way?” Malek asked.

“For one thing… neither Jacob nor Selmak seem the kind to overdose on anything. Their last check up just over a week ago showed none of the usual signs of mental illness or depression. The amphiprozole shouldn't have made them sick at all, not even an overdose of it… unless…” Elise quickly pressed a few buttons on the scanner, re-calibrating it, and ran it over Jacob again.

Malek and Jared watched intently, waiting for her to finish. She was by far the best healer they had had under their command as she didn't just concern herself with the health of the symbiote but the host as well. She treated both individually, but also as a whole. No other healer Malek knew of did that. She had a dedication to her work that ran to an obsession at times but always did what was in the best interest of her patients.

“Just as I thought,” she frowned, her eyes still on the scanner. “Jacob's biochemistry is different from most Tok'ra hosts. Whoever administered the drug should have scanned for this and known not to give it to him!”

Malek pushed his hand through his hair slowly, taking in this new information. “Was it the overdose of the amphiprozole making him this sick, as it wasn't designed for his system?” Malek asked.

“Yes, but he would have had a simple upset stomach that wouldn't go away. Only if the dose were too high would have made him so violently ill. But nothing like this …unless…No, Jacob would never overdose!” she said. “There is something more going on here than meets the eye. I need to run more tests.”

Malek looked down at the still figure of his friend. “Just do what you can for them,” he said. “I'll find out what I can and then pass on anything pertinent to you as soon as I have it.”

Elise nodded. “Thank you.” She turned back to her patient, starting to run a series of deep level scans.

Malek watched her for a moment then went back towards his office, knowing she would call him the instant she had any news.

Matthias met him in the tunnel. “Malek, that report from the Tau'ri you wanted,” he said holding out the padd.

Malek took it and smiled his thanks, pausing to read it. His face darkened as he read. He looked up. “Get Garshaw here as soon as possible. Preferably in person but on the communication system if needed.” He spun round heading back to the healing chambers. “And only Garshaw!” he called over his shoulder.

Matthias nodded and then hurried off.

Malek crossed the healing chambers in three quick strides. “Read this,” he said without preamble holding out the pad.

Elise took it without a comment, Malek's tone and facial expressions telling her this was not good news. As she read, her face creased with concern and then shock. “Is this for real?” she asked.

Malek nodded. “It comes from their medical unit. They have no reason to lie.”

Elise looked up at him. “That dosage can't be right… it is way too high. And yet he is adamant that's what they told him. So in five days he had…” she paused. “That amount is more than a simple overdose. It's a lethal amount that would kill a Tok'ra never mind Jacob with his biochemistry!” She read further down the pad and then gasped in shock. “No.”

Malek looked at her worried now. “What is it?”

She altered the scanner and started another series of scans. Now she knew what to look for it should be easy to find. And there it was. She scanned again just to be sure then handed Malek the scanner. “You look,” she said.

Malek took the scanner. Not knowing what exactly he was looking for he ran the scanner over Jacob's body. He looked at the results as they came up. “That can't be…” he said looking at Elise.

Elise looked at him. “There was an anomaly in the blood work the Tau'ri physician ran. She couldn't place it but I have seen something like it once before. I scanned for it.” She paused. “He's been poisoned. I need to do more tests to confirm exactly what was used.” She had her suspicions but knew that wasn't good enough. Malek preferred to work with proven facts as she did. “One thing though…”

He looked at her. “What?”

“This would have gone undetected if it weren't for the Tau'ri report. It was too well hidden behind the overdose. It would have looked like suicide.”

Malek drew back slightly, shocked by what she had said. He watched her work for a moment. “Call me,” he said needlessly then turned and left the room. <Who would want to poison them?> he asked rhetorically.

<Half the council> Jared replied bluntly. <One in particular.> He paused. 

Malek nodded. <We do… We owe them that much. I want to start an investigation… Perhaps Matthias would be up to handling it?>

<Or Aldwin… but you are right. We do need to get to the bottom of this ourselves. I would not trust anyone else to do it sufficiently.> Jared answered.

Reaching his office Malek pulled the letter from the safe and sat down at his desk to read it through again. It was still confusing in places and he longed for Jacob to explain it to him.

Malek and Jared,

This is one of the hardest letters I have ever had to write as I hate goodbyes. They are always so final and shouldn't be done by letter I had wanted to either speak in person or deliver this myself but it is not to be. Within a few days now I will be taking my leave of the Tok'ra for good. Things have deteriorated to the point where I can no longer remain amongst them or wish to remain as Selmak's host.

That is something I never thought I would say to anyone, but I can no longer affiliate myself with a group who act more like the enemy than allies. I can't go into details as much as I want. She is watching what I write here, making sure I do not overstep the mark or say something that I should not.

Speaking of Mark, that is where I will be for the next week. I will try and come to visit before I make my permanent home on Earth. Just to say goodbye, although I do not know if that will be permitted. By either of our peoples actually once the truth comes out.

I have betrayed her. She betrayed her and me. And for that I can never forgive either her or me or them.

Always your friend,

Jacob.

Jared read the letter slowly. <It's still confusing Mal> he said. <All the references to her and she and them; is it the same her in both instances or different ones?>

 Malek replied. 

<More to the point what brought them to this position. Sure they had their disagreements but then so do we. We fight sometimes but we make up. It's never more than we can fix.>

Malek smiled slightly. <Everyone does. I imagine Seb fights with Delek quite a lot of the time.>

<Seb?> Jared asked. <That's Delek's host's name??>

Malek nodded. <Yeah… brave man that he is.>

<Brave man or a fool. Can't say I'd fancy having Delek inside my head all the time.>

<Can't say I would ever fancy having Delek inside my head at all… or anywhere else inside my body come to that> Malek said slyly knowing what reaction he'd get from Jared for that.

Jared screwed up his nose at the thought, never mind the images Malek sent him. <You are disgusting!> he said hitting him playfully.

Malek smiled. <You mean you don't find him attractive?>

<The snake or the host> Jared replied making gagging noises. <Stop thinking like Dayna will ya> he teased. <You were a woman for only 156 years… And you know perfectly well I prefer women.>

Malek laughed. <As do I my friend…> He reached out for his host hugging him.  he broke off.

 Jared whispered hugging him as the memories flooded him. He paused for a moment. <There's always Anise> he said slowly.

It was Malek's turn to gag. <I'm not that desperate> he replied. <And neither are you.> He looked across the room, his thoughts going back to the healing chambers. He took a deep breath, knowing Elise would send for him if he were needed but wanting to be there regardless. Movement at the door made him look up. He calmly got to his feet. “Garshaw,” he said.

Garshaw swept into his office. “Why have you sent for me?” she asked. “And insist I come alone?”

“Did you?” Malek asked, nodding to his personal guards to block off the doorway to his office.

Garshaw nodded. “I did. What is wrong?”

“Jacob and Selmak arrived here about an hour ago. They are very sick… they are dying from an overdose.”

Garshaw looked at him shock resonating in her eyes. “What?”

Malek nodded. “The amphiprozole… the dosage was far too high. But it never should have been given to them in the first place. Jacob's biochemistry is completely different to most other Tok'ra! It caused a massive allergic reaction. Whoever gave it to him should have checked first! But it wasn't just the amphiprozole.”

“What do you mean?”

“There was something added to it. They were both poisoned.”

Garshaw sat down and sighed heavily. “Did he say anything?” she asked.

Malek shook his head, wondering why she was reacting the way she was. “No he hasn't. They collapsed as soon as they were through the gate.”

Garshaw looked at him. “Are you sure? They said nothing before they collapsed?”

Malek shook his head again. “No… Neither of them has regained consciousness. Like I said they are dying.”

<Mal why is she more concerned over what they said than the fact someone tried to kill them?>

“Why would they take an overdose and why would someone want to poison them?” she wondered.

Malek sat on the edge of his desk. “More to the point why would someone try to hide the poison under the overdose? It would have been overlooked if it were not for a report from the Tau'ri. I was hoping you would be able to help me answer some of my concerns. What happened between them? The letter I got didn't make much sense.”

“He wrote to you?” she said sharply. “May I see?”

Malek nodded and handed her the letter. “It's very confusing. We were going to see him. We are both deeply concerned for him. It sounds as if he was handing Selmak over to a new host.”

Garshaw read the letter and handed it back. “Yes he had asked for Selmak to be removed. Delek was arranging for a new host. Selmak requested a woman this time. She wanted to be removed last week and placed into stasis, but that was not possible.”

“Why?” Malek asked.

Garshaw looked at him. “He was returning to Earth. There was a concern he would break our security.”

“That's not what I meant. Why was Selmak being given to a new host?”

“Something happened which made things intolerable between them…”

Malek looked at her. “What?” he asked.

“That is none of your concern,” Garshaw answered.

Malek narrowed his eyes. “Jacob and Selmak are the closest friends Jared and I have amongst the Tok'ra. We consider them brothers. They wrote to us and came here to die. Damn right it concerns us!”

Garshaw sighed. “Very well… we sent his daughter's team to Munoz Prime…”

Malek looked at her horrified. “You did what ?? ”

Garshaw nodded slowly. “We had no choice…She had to complete Jolinar's mission. It is vital that we obtain the information that Dante has.”

“And you were banking on Major Carter being able to retrieve it,” Malek said, disgust in his voice. He shook his head. “I can understand him wanting to leave the Tok'ra for that but to lose Selmak?”

Garshaw looked at him. “It was Selmak who briefed SG1 and sent them.”

Neither Malek nor Jared could quite believe she had just said that. “I'm sorry. Did you just say it was Selmak's idea?”

“No… Although she agreed with it and briefed SG1 herself.”

Malek got up and paced across the office. “So whose idea was it to send them?” he asked.

“The council took the decision as we do before each and every mission.”

 Malek said quietly to Jared.

<Me either. Why did the council send them? Why did Selmak agree to do it?> Jared whispered. <You know I don't agree with that kind of undercover work.>

<Nor do I…> Malek whispered. He never had, but now even more so since Dayna's death. For the time being, that remained a secret of his own he had never shared with Jared, one which still haunted his nightmares.

Garshaw watched Malek. “We had no choice,” she said.

“That is complete and utter hogwash and you know it!” Jared said coming fore abruptly.

Garshaw looked at him. “Jared,” she said nodding slightly in greeting.

Jared didn't even nod to show Garshaw the respect she was due as a councillor. “There is always another choice!” he said furiously. “It's just easier to do things the way they have always been done. A way, I hasten to add that neither Malek nor I agree with. It's abhorrent! Bad enough you expect your own to do that kind of thing without sending someone else to do it. Did SG1 know exactly what the mission entailed?” He could tell by the look on her face that they had kept that from them. “No, I didn't think so. Whose idea was it? Delek's?”

She shook her head. “No and it was a joint decision by the council. Who made the initial decision is not important. In fact Delek has been most supportive in finding a new host for Selmak.”

“I bet he has… Let me guess, she's brunette, about five nine, hazel eyes, stunning teeth, perfect figure and no more than 36.” He raised an eyebrow as Garshaw nodded. <No surprises there then> he told Malek. <He picked someone he'd like. No doubt hoping to convince her to be his mate so he can control both her and Selmak.> He paused. “Well right now neither Jacob nor Selmak are in any condition to go anywhere.”

Garshaw looked at him. “The new host is waiting.”

Jared shook his head. “Did you not hear what Malek said? They are dying. Both of them. If Elsie manages to reverse the poisoning it will be sometime before they are fit to leave here.” He glanced up at the door; letting Malek fore again as Matthias came in.

Matthias nodded to Garshaw and then looked at Malek. “Apologies for interrupting. Elise needs you in the healing chambers.”

--- --- --- ---

Jacob lay motionless on the bed as Elise ran yet another series of scans. The scanner revealed a rising fever, faint brainwave activity and an even fainter heart rhythm. Nothing she did helped to bring the fever down or prevent it from rising any further. Although he was mainly non responsive to external stimuli, his eyes were slightly reactive to light. Elise worriedly continued her work unaware of the torment going on inside his mind and his body.

Jacob was walking through a lurid landscape, purples and reds, his body feeling as if it were on fire. The sounds were reminiscent of his time on Netu, the screams of the damned caught in eternal torment. He was looking for something, he had to keep searching but he was so tired and felt so sick that all he wanted to do was stop and rest.

Within his mind Selmak lay curled up, her vital signs slowing dramatically. She knew he was sick but she couldn't help him. Something was stopping her from healing him like she knew she could do. But she was unable to heal the torment in his soul. Unable to heal the grief she had caused him.

Jacob kept moving. He was so tired now and so sick, but she was out there and he had to find her . He had sent her and now he had to save her. He stumbled into yet another room, this one totally different. It was cold and the walls were made of the familiar blue crystals.

Selmak could see them now, accusing her of having betrayed her host. She sent his daughter to her death. She tried to reason with them. It was just a disagreement. She hadn't meant what she had said. Please, don't hurt him . She was powerless to stop them as they forced her host face down on the table. He fought them as best he could, shouting and struggling but they were too strong and too many of them.

Jacob felt someone pick him up and put him face down on a cold hard slab of crystal. He struggled and cried out but they were too strong and held him there.

Selmak screamed in protest as they worked but no one listened to her. She could feel the panic echoing through her host. It wasn't meant to be this way. She wasn't meant to be taken from him this way. This way would kill him. She felt agonising pain rip through him as they began the extraction process.

Jacob screamed as there was agonising pain in the back of his neck. His hand rose to cradle it. He could feel blood oozing from between his fingers before someone knocked it roughly away and he screwed his eyes tight shut crying out in pain. His hand fell from his neck and lay by his face, covered with his blood. There was more pain as something cut deeper into the back of his neck. “You do not deserve to be Tok'ra!” said a voice. “She will be returned to her people and you will die.”

Jacob felt everything start to fade as the pain took over. He could feel something pressing into his neck then nothing. Everything caved in at once and there was silence in his mind. Pain turned to nothingness; the red light into to darkness and he fell headlong into the abyss. I'm sorry Sam was his last conscious thought as the blackness of death engulfed him.

Alarms rang out as Jacob's body began to jerk spasmodically. Elise ran over attempting to hold him still. “I need help here!” she yelled. “We need to bring his fever down!” As two aides rushed to her side and helped to hold Jacob's body immobile it suddenly fell still. “He's arrested! We're losing them both!”

Two more healers ran to her side as she started working frantically to bring him back.

--- --- --- ---

Malek was on his feet and out of the door before Matthias had got past ‘Elise needs'. He ran as fast as he could, fearing what he would find when he got there. He could feel the fear building in Jared too. Neither of them wanted to lose Jacob or Selmak as both were good friends.

He had found the Tau'ri warrior strange at first as his values were so different. Both Jacob and Jared had found kinship in the fact that neither of them was bred for blending and until shortly before their actual blending neither really knew the Tok'ra existed. Both had learnt much from the other and had formed a firm and lasting friendship. This had led to as solid a one forming between Malek and Jacob. They would both back Jacob to the hilt in any decision or fight and knew that Jacob would do the same for them.

Malek stopped running slightly short of the healing chambers and took a deep breath to calm his breathing. Then he entered the room having assumed his normal poker faced expression. He moved over to the bed Jacob was lying on. Elise was standing next to him working silently. “Report,” he said quietly.

Elise looked at him. “I got him back… this time.”

Malek looked at her shocked. “What?” he managed not having expected that.

“He has an extremely high fever and as a result he has had three seizures, each worse than the last. This last time he was technically dead for five minutes before we managed to revive him.” Elise looked at Malek. “I'm sorry… I know he's your friend but…”

Malek looked away for a moment his face betraying the emotions flooding him. “Go on.”

Elise took a deep breath. “We've managed to keep the fever from rising. But…each seizure takes a lot out of both him and Selmak. Each one does more damage to their cognitive functions… I can't keep reviving them, they wouldn't want it…” She broke off as the alarms started again.

Malek watched in horror as Jacob's body began convulsing again. He stood there helpless, powerless to do anything as Elise once again fought to save Jacob's life. He waited for someone to tell him he was dreaming but that voice never came. Only a song from Jared's childhood filtered through his mind… But you know that if you cross your fingers/and if you count from one to ten/you can get up off the ground again/it doesn't matter/the whole things just a game.

Jared wept silently as he watched. This wasn't a game he was so fond of when he was a child. Once again he was losing someone he cared about. Malek tried his best to comfort him but he was grieving too. It seemed an eternity before Elise finally turned back to him. “They are still with us,” she said quietly. “But each time it causes further damage to both symbiote and host.”

Malek nodded slowly. “What's causing it?” he asked slowly.

“Emphiba venom,” she said.

Malek did a double take. “WHAT?” he gasped.

Elise picked up the pad from beside the bed handed it to him. “There is no doubt it was deliberate.”

Malek held it in his hand. “Explain,” he said wanting to hear it before he read it.

Elise took a deep breath. “The amphiprozole had been mixed with venom from the emphiba. The amount of amphiprozole in their system meant that Selmak would have been unable to do anything even if she had known the venom was there. And it would look like an overdose that killed them.” She broke off as horror filled Malek's eyes. “The venom is deadly, swift acting… usually causing death within two days of exposure to it. It causes seizures along with high fever, severe vomiting. Then internal organ failure, kidneys, liver, heart… finally death.”

Malek looked at Jacob taking a couple of deep slow breaths. “Why aren't they already dead?” he asked. “If they received a lethal dose and death occurs within two days…Jacob's been taking it for five days!”

Elise let out a deep breath. “My guess is that in order for us to not detect the venom, only minuscule trace amounts were mixed with the amphiprozole. Malek, they've been taking an extremely high dose of amphiprozole for almost a week. It has greatly inhibited Jacob and Selmak's immune systems. It was just simply a matter of time before the emphiba did its job.” She paused. “I can think of no death slower or worse than this…almost as if their killer wanted them to suffer.”

“Can the damage be reversed?” he asked.

Elise looked at him. “I have given them the anti-venom,” she said quietly. “So far the damage to his liver and kidneys is minimal and should be reversible given enough time…”

Malek looked at her. “But?”

She took a deep breath. “But the high fever and the seizures…I don't know exactly how much damage as been done to Jacob's brain… I…”

Jared reached, laying a hand on her shoulder. “Jacob is a fighter; don't count him out so easily.”

Elise nodded. “If we can keep the fever down there's a slim chance. The problem is so much of the venom is coursing through his veins now, contaminating his systems. It is slowly changing the composition of his white blood cells.”

“Changing them how?” Malek asked.

“In the same way a cancer does, eventually destroying them. If only there were a way to replace some of the contaminated blood with some that wasn't, then perhaps they might have a chance. As things stand now…” she shuddered. What kind of a healer was she if she was stumped over something like this? “I just wish there was more I can do.”

“How long?” Malek asked, his voice almost a whisper.

“A few hours… no longer than a day.”

Malek sighed heavily. <Jared?> he asked.

Jared closed his eyes.  he said. He thought for a moment. <You're the scientist Mal not me.>

<To replace some of the contaminated blood with fresh? They would do a blood transfusion.>

<A what?> Malek asked. <Explain to Elise.>

Jared came fore and explained his idea to Elise, making sure that Malek understood as well.

Elise looked at him. “And this is possible?”

Jared nodded. “Yes… of course the blood would have to be compatible with Jacob's. His people and mine use this treatment a lot.”

Elise grabbed the scanner and ran it over Jared then ran it over Jacob. “According to this you both have the same blood type.”

“Then use us,” Jared said without hesitation.

She looked at him. “I would not know what to do.”

Malek came fore and looked over at one of his personal guards. “Find Matthias. Have him contact the SGC and ask for them to send one of their doctors here ASAP with the equipment needed for a blood transfusion.”

The guard nodded and ran from the room.

Malek looked at Jacob and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Don't you give up my friend. Keep fighting this.”

--- --- --- ---

Janet ran down the tunnels followed by two nurses from her staff. She was trying to keep up with the pace set by Matthias who had met her at the gate. The small pieces of information she had been able to get out of him were not encouraging.

Malek looked up as she came into the healing chambers. “Dr Fraiser… thank you for coming.”

Janet nodded to him. “What is General Carter's condition?”

“Not good,” Malek began.

Elise looked up. “He's arrested!” she called.

Janet and her nurses immediately ran over to help and swung into action.

Malek stood anxiously watching as they once more fought to bring Jacob back from death's door. He was as close as he could get without being in the way. It seemed to take forever before Elise finally looked up at him and smiled slightly. He let out the breath he didn't realise he was holding.

Janet came over to him. “So I understand you are volunteering to be a blood donor?”

Malek looked at her and nodded. “Yes… Jared is the same blood type as Jacob apparently.”

Janet nodded. “Have a seat. Can you roll your sleeve up for me? Past your elbow please.” She started getting out the equipment she needed.

Elise came over to watch.

Jared came fore and slid out of his tunic shivering slightly as the cold air hit his bare chest. He looked up at Janet and smiled. “The sleeves on those tunics are too tight to roll up,” he explained.

Janet nodded and turned to Elise explaining everything as she worked.

Jared watched what she was doing, mainly so Malek could see. Malek was more nervous than he was letting on. As good a scientist as he was, he preferred being the one holding the needle than being on the receiving end of it. Jared teased him at first at being afraid of needles but then reassured him the whole time, wondering at how things had changed. Malek was normally the strong one, but now it was his turn to be comforted by his host.

Trying not to shiver as the healing chambers were cold, he did wonder if he was going to have any blood left. They seemed to be taking an awful lot. Although admittedly the second one was so that Janet could watch Elise doing it to make sure she understood what she had been taught.

Finally it was done and he slipped back into his tunic and then watched as they set up the IV for Jacob. He just hoped this would work, because if it didn't then they would lose the one true friend they had.

--- --- --- --- ---

Ten hours later Malek sat by Jacob's bedside. All they could do was wait and Malek hadn't left Jacob's side once. Jacob's system had been purged of the venom and most of the amphiprozole but no one was sure of the lasting effects either would have on him. The sweat soaked blanket had been changed several times until at last his temperature was finally down to just above normal. Elise still kept him unclothed for the time being just until she was sure.

Malek has his own reasons for not wanting Jacob dressed but he was keeping those to himself. He sat there trying to work out why this had happened and who could have hated Jacob so much that they wanted him dead. A movement jarred Malek out of his thoughts. He looked down at Jacob and smiled as he saw his friend looking up at him. “Hey,” he said gently. “How you feeling?”

“Like hell,” Jacob said. His throat was dry and his voice was no more than a hoarse whisper.

Malek lifted Jacob's head slightly and offered him some water. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Jacob sipped the water, but he was so thirsty he tried to take a bigger sip and then another and ended up gulping it down. Then he gagged and ended up bringing the whole lot back up. His whole body hurt as it was, the retching just aggravating already sore and tortured muscles.

Malek took the cup away and gently cleaned Jacob up changing the wet blanket for a dry one. “Sip it Jacob.”

Jacob nodded and took a few small sips this time.

“Better?” Malek asked.

“Yeah,” Jacob sighed closing his eyes.

Malek set Jacob's head gently back on the pillows and leaned back in his chair again watching his friend rest.

Only Jacob couldn't rest. He had so much to do and so little time in which to do it. He tried to lift his head only he failed. He felt like he was pulling ten g's.

“Whoa… you're not going anywhere Jacob,” Malek said gently holding him back down on the bed. “And that's an order from the one person who can give you one.”

Jacob tried to push against him. “Sam…” he managed.

Malek sighed. “I know my friend, but you are in no condition to go anywhere right now.”

“I have to go…”

Malek shook his head. “Elise!” he called. “I'm sorry my friend, it's for your own good. You have to rest.”

Elise came across, the vial in her hand. She had watched from across the room and had already prepared the sedative.

“No… Malek, please… I have to go… Sam…” Jacob sobbed as he felt the sedative being injected and working through his system.

“Rest Jacob,” Malek's voice said as darkness surrounded Jacob and he slumped into Malek's arms.

--- --- --- --- ---

Jacob's dreams were filled with snapshots of his family. He could see the scenes unfolding before him and he could do nothing but experience them as if he were an actual participant in them. The emotions he felt were real.

The cry spilt the still air in the hot room. “It's a girl,” the doctor beamed. “Congratulations!”

Jacob hugged his wife and kissed her. “You did it.”

Alison smiled back at him. “Thank you.” She handed the baby to Jacob. "Here Daddy."

He held her in his arms and swore to protect her. “Hey Sammie,” he said, stroking her cheek. “You are beautiful, just like your mom.”

Sam shook her head with all the strength a 6 year old could muster. “I don't want to go. I want to stay here.”

He hunkered down next to her. “Sammie you have to go. School's important.”

Tears poured down her face. “But I want to stay with you. You only just got home. Please Daddy, don't make me go.”

Seeing his little girl in tears brought tears to his own eyes. “Sammie it's not for long. I'll pick you up after school I promise.”

She put her arms round his neck. “Daddy don't cry. I can be brave if you are. Love you Daddy.”

The hall was in darkness, the performance started as Jacob finally made his way down the row, apologising as he trod on toes.

Alison smiled at him, gripping his hand. “You're late,” she hissed, pulling him down beside her.

“Sorry, but I am here now.”

A Christmas tree twinkled at the edge of the stage as the nativity play unfolded. Seven year old Sammie sat by the manger, the doll cradled in her arms. You could have heard a pin drop as she suddenly, totally unscripted decided that the baby was crying and started singing ‘Little Jesus sweetly sleep' as she rocked it.

The scream from the garden made him drop the report he was reading and run outside.

“Daddy! Daddy!”

Jacob quickly ran down the path to the part of the garden the cries were coming from. “Sammie?”

“Daddy it hurts,” she sobbed.

Jacob reached her. He glanced down and saw the blood trickling from the cuts on her knees and elbows. “What happened?”

“I fell off the swing,” she sobbed.

Jacob gathered her in his arms. “It's ok. Daddy's here. Nothing we can't mend.”

Sam glared at him. “No! Dad I am sixteen! Stop treating me like I am six!”

Jacob looked at his daughter. She thought she knew everything. “Sam 2am is too late to be out on your own.”

“No one else is being picked up by their father. You'll make me look silly!”

“It's not debateable young lady. Either I pick you up at a reasonable hour or you don't go at all.”

Sam stormed out and slammed the door behind her. Jacob listened to her run up the stairs and slam her bedroom door. His eyes fell on a picture taken of her on her sixth birthday on the back on the pony. How simple it was then. No longer ribbons and curls, but makeup and parties. He gave her a few minutes then went up the stairs.

He knocked on the door. “Sam?”

“Go away!”

“Sam please.” He waited then spoke through the door. “Sam. I love you and I don't want you to get hurt.”

“No! You spoil everything. Just leave me alone!”

Sam had gone to the party and Jacob had turned up anyway just after midnight . He had found her pinned up against the wall by a young lad who had had far too much to drink. He had dealt with the kid in question then driven Sam home, run her a bath, taken her word that nothing had happened and held her as she had cried. Never once saying I told you so.

Jacob smiled and pushed the swing higher

“Higher Daddy!” she cried. “I want to touch the sky.” Sam laughed as she flew through the air, her hair streaming behind her. Her laughter echoed through the garden, turning into screams as the scene changed again and she stood in front of the system lord who slowly possessed her before killing her.

--- --- --- --- ---

Malek opened his eyes to find himself slumped over Jacob's bed. He had not intended to sleep and was momentarily disorientated. He raised his head from the angle it was at and stretched. He looked over at Elise. “How long did I sleep for?” he asked, his hand moving to iron out the kink in his neck. Jared was still sleeping and would give him hell over the neck and back pain when he woke.

“Eight hours,” she said bringing him over some herbal tea. “But you needed it. Jacob hasn't stirred all night. He should wake soon though.”

Malek took the cup. “Thank you,” He sipped it, closing his eyes for a second, allowing the scent and taste of the hot liquid to permeate his senses. “How is he?” he asked looking at her.

“He's better. I ran a lot of fluid into him over night and we did a fair amount of work with the healing device. The damage to his liver and kidney's has been repaired and they appear to be working normally. I'll need to watch for a while longer though.”

Malek nodded sipping the tea slowly, his other hand still moving over his neck.

Elise watched him carefully. “The blood transfusion was successful. Without that he would have died.”

“Glad it worked. Perhaps we could use that for other things too.”

Elise nodded. “It is worth remembering. Perhaps Jared could help me compile a list at some point?”

Malek nodded. “Sure.” His face creased a little.

Elise looked at him concerned. “What's wrong with your neck?”

Malek looked at her. “Slept awkwardly… can't seem to get the stiffness out of it.”

Elise ran the scanner over it and then put it down. “I am not surprised it hurts. May I?” she asked her hands gently touching Malek's neck.

Malek nodded his consent and sliding his tunic off he leaned forwards slightly giving her the room to work.

Elise started massaging Malek's neck and upper back. “You twisted one of the muscles,” she said. “It's not only causing Jared discomfort it means you can't move either.”

Malek winced slightly as her firm fingers found the right place on the first attempt. “My fault for sleeping,” he said, a slight intake of breath being the only outward sign of the pain that shot through him at her touch.

Elise shook her head. “You've been in here for 36 hours,” she said. “Not even you can keep going indefinitely. I was seriously considering sedating you.”

Malek raised an eyebrow and would have looked at her but couldn't move. “Really?” he managed out.

“You'd have thanked me for it in the end,” she said using slightly more force than was necessary to work the twisted muscle free. “If you want my medical opinion, you work too hard. Don't take enough time for yourself.”

“Goes with the job.” He let out a sharp breath.

Elise looked at him, recognising that as a cry of pain that was determined to be kept hidden. “Where does it hurt?” she asked.

Malek raised a hand and showed her.

Elise nodded and started to work on that area too.

Malek closed his eyes, grateful that Jared was sleeping. He could only imagine the comments he'd get from this. It'd give Jared enough ammunition for teasing for the next several months. “You're good at this,” he said slowly.

Elise smiled. “It comes with practice,” she said. “By the feel of these muscles you are way too tense. You could do with a proper massage. Make sure you make the time for one later.” She felt the muscles slowly release under her fingers and watched as Malek visibly relaxed in front of her. “Better?”

Malek straightened as she moved away slightly. “Yes, thank you.” He pulled his tunic back up and did it up. “I will take that under advisement.”

Elise smiled at him. “You do that. I'll get you some more tea.” She knew that before he'd had at least 3 cups of tea in the morning Malek was like a bear with a sore head.

He nodded. “Thank you.” He stood up and headed towards the bathroom.

When he returned he found another cup of steaming tea and the morning pile of reports waiting for him. He sat back down next to the bed and started reading, drinking the tea slowly. An hour later he glanced